How soon to tell a date?

soooooooo how was the date? Remember we married old hags live vicariously through you lucky singles, so hook us up with details! Or am i the only dirty broad on her, could that be? Hugs, ANDI

Date last night went well and just when I thought I was going to upfront and honest with him and at this point - let's see if he's with me on this all the way - he throws me a curve ball. Get this (now mind you) I've only now dated him 3 times, so go figure how well we know each other (first date was a blind date). Just before we start dinner at the table he tells me he has had cancer 2 years ago and they just found it came back 2 days before he met me. He thought it was nothing but last week they confirmed that it is spreading quickly and they need to operate and he will have kemo 5 days a week for 7 weeks. He thought he would tell me this before I heard it else where and that he will still be calling me but don't know jow he will be feeling the next few weeks with tests and all. He plans on going down to Florida for a week and get all the tests done prior to surgery and don't know how much time this will leave but will be in touch. Now is this a let down or a cop out or should I figure this is just my luck - I really don't know how I should be feeling right now, but I guess it's not about me at this point and took a lot of pressure and stress off, for sure. Next step is do I want to through this with him - what a mess. I lost a husband 4 years ago and 2 sons shortly thereafter got marries and left and took the dog. So within 1 year I lost 3 men and a dog. This was so devastating to me - I didn't go out of the house for 3 years except to work. Do I want to put myself in that position again. Man I hate making decisions - that's the worse part of being alone. Do I out my self right out there or just walk away now? I guess it depends on how much I feel for this guy. I think I have to slow down and take 1 day at a time and just see where this leads. Sorry for the let down and for rambling on about me but I didn't want to leave anyone hanging there either. If you have any suggestion, throw them out there - I'm always game to try anything once. Talk about emotions. WOW WHAT A DATE!!! Debbie

If I were you, I would probably still be at a "friends level". It sounds as though, through these few dates, that is what you two have become, friends. I would at this point do that for him and you. It will probably make both of you happier. I was just courious as to how you met him. Did the person that set you up know this about him? I guess what I am really asking is, how much do you actually know about this man? I'm sorry to hear that you lost your husband. That had to have been very hard. Good luck on what ever you deside... Paula

Paula, My son and his wife arranged the first date and it lead to more dates. He lives in their condo units and he has always been very good to them. He said he was only being upfront and honest with me so I didn't find out through them, however they don't even know yet. I knew nothing about him prior to these dates and again this was only the third one. He is quite a bit older than me and that made me frightened at first also but I didn't want to be choosy or a closed minded person - I'll never find anyone that way. So I left all doors open and maybe that's why I feel the way I feel right now. Also with the passing of my husband - this is making me much more causious these days too. I think your right - friend level is always best. Thanks Debbie

WOW now how's about that for a kick in the tush? You know what, i'd offer to be his friend and see where it goes from there. No one in this world should go it alone. Instead of thinking of him as a date, think of him as cutting your teeth so that you are ready in case someone else comes along. You don't really lose people if they get married you gain other people, it's all in your perspective! Things happen for a reason, wait and see what G*D has in store for you. ANDI

ANDI, It is in his hands now and as for me I have decided not to desert him for if was me I wouldn't want that to happen. I told him if he needed a ride or just someone to talk to just call. I'd be here for him and not it will be in his hands to were he wants or expects it to go. Thanks for the friendship and helping hand. It's all in the number of days. Debbie

I do not 'share' with everyone, but occasionally I feel motivated to share with someone because it feels appropriate. I would probably mention it before, and suggest that you guys split a meal so that nothing goes to waste. that is how my dining adventures have been for the last month. I have eating buddies that let me steal oz off their plates.