How soon to tell a date?

Tonight I will be having a date with a real nice guy. This is my third date with him and I am not sure if he is getting suspicious about my eating habits. He always takes me to the nicest places and I feel so bad I can't eat. The first time I mentioned that I was on a high protein, low carb diet and proceeded to eat barely anything because after the appitizer - I was full. There was no room for the main course. I just picked at a bit and left the rest. He asked if I didn't like the dinner but I said I was just stuffed (which wasn't a lie). Now the second date I did a little better. I cut back on the appitizer and left more of it for him but still picked away at the chicken plate and took more home than I ate. No tonight again we will be going to eat and I never know how I will do - but I do know I can't eat like I used to nor can I keep up with him so why try. The question is do I tell him I had WLS or just let it go like this for a while and see if he questions it again?

This is something I've wondered about too! I'm not dating anyone now and I really don't have any prospects BUT I hope to in the future. This (WLS) has been a huge part of my life, so of course it would have to be discussed but when? I hope you get some good responses to this one. and Please let us know how it goes and what you do! Mandy

Thank you so very much for understanding. I sure will let you know how it goes. I just felt like such a fool when he's paying for the extravagant dinner and you can't eat anything. It's not his problem not that I think of it as a problem, it's just an embarassment.

just curious... Why wouldn't you want to tell him? You're doing great, it's something to be proud of, not hide. just a thought...

Joe, I just didn't know if it was too soon. This is only the third date and I don't want him to think I am looking for sympathy either. I am proud of my accomplishments and am not trying to hide the fact that I had WLS just didn't want to put anything on him too soon either. I really don't know how would a man take that after buying such an extravagant meal and being so kind. Maybe you can answer that one for both of us? Debbie

If I were dating you and you shared the journey you're on and how well it's going, I would want to do whatever you needed to support you. and I certainly wouldn't want you to be in an awkward situation of ordering food with no way of eating it. i would simply be up front in saying "I'm not eating much these days, so I'm just going to order the appetizer" or something like that. and I understand that you want don't want to just blurt out " I had gastric bypass surgery!" You'll know the right time to tell him. or not tell him!

Joe, Good answer and I think your probably right about the timing and all. I don't feel as if I know him well enough yet and there is still that chance he just believes my diet story. I am at goal and am looking slender so maybe this is good enough for now. I will just let it rest till the opportunity comes along. Thank you so very much for the advice. It has really helped. Debbie

First and foremost, I am SO proud of you for making it to goal, good job sugar! Perhaps you could suggest an alternate date instead of dinner...bowling, movies, pool, darts, opera, ballet, video games, amusement park! If you dont' want to tell him about the surgery yet then you need to order an appetizer to share with him and an appetizer for you main meal! Enjoy your dinner and your date. ANDI

Well.. I have never hidden the fact that I have had WLS from anyone.. I think I would just say it in passing and see how he reacts.. If it is something that bugs him.. than maybe it shouldnt be.. I would think that telling him later he may think you decieved him.. If he really cares about you and you care about him.. it shouldnt matter at all..

You'll know when the time is right. On the flip side - when I met my husband he was 2 months post op. He told me on our first date. Of course there's a double standard because he's a guy and was still about 350 lbs when we met so when he only got down a few bites of dinner I would have thought he was nuts if he didn't tell me why. At the time I was really into WW and had lost 50 lbs myself so I was really curious about his journey and we chatted about it most the night. You just feel this fellow out and decide when the time is right for you. If he's a keeper then you shouldn't have to worry about him having a negative reaction. He should be proud of you and supportiive of your new lifestyle. Good luck!