Can't Believe It Happened to Me

I've been lurking on the board for about the past week now. My mood has been just horrible. I have sunk even lower where my carb intake is concerned. I made some chex mix (who knows why...uhhh me... i'm a carb addict and surgery didn't fix that) and I've eaten so much of it its ridiculous. I feel bloated after I fini**** but as soon as I'm not "stuffed" I eat a little more. I know for certain that 2-3 times this week I've not gotten in more than 25 grams of protein, not taken my vitamins, and I've avoided the gym like the plague. I haven't posted here because I felt like a hypocrit (sp?). I've even experimented with diet sodas, straws, birthday cake, the list goes on. The reality is: I know I'm not eating nearly the quantity I did before surgery. BUT I do know that I feel as though I'm spiraling out of control. My surgeon's program offers a 6 month nutrition/exercise class. It was a lifesaver for me. I felt bad the whole time I was there BUT when I left Wednesday I had a new resolve. Money has been really tight but I got a check today, so I'm going to the grocery store. I'm stocking up as if I were 3 weeks out again. Back to basics for me. I've worked too hard and been through too much to fall back into the horrible cycle again. I'm dusting off my nutrition manual they gave me. I know this is a life style change, but I've got to be able to say no to the foods that will trigger my weaknesses. I want to apologize for disappearing from the board the past few days. I've not offered support when I could have. WOW! I feel so much better getting that out in the open. Mandy

Hi Mandy! Can I PRETTY PLEASE join you on your "starting over" crusade??? I need this soooooo badly! My husband came home with Hostess Chocodiles last night ... remember those? I ate one! I ate the entire Chocodile and I was so sick to my stomach afterwards. I literally just had to go to bed because I was so tired and queezy. I was just so mad at myself that I caved in and ate it. What was I thinking? My mentality has been really awful lately too. I keep trying tastes of things I shouldn't have. And I told myself after the Chocodile episode last night that today was a brand new day. No more junk to eat! I have to start fresh! We have come way too far to give in to our temptations now. I keep telling myself that these bad foods are the devil ... I don't want to let him make my food choices for me! Hee, hee! The thing is, I know FULL WELL that I shouldn't eat those things but I just can't resist them. I don't understand what is wrong with me! OK Mandy, let's kick each others butts into gear! We can conquer this ... no more junk! Let's start fresh!!! Deanna P.S. Thanks for this post ... I really need it today!

Mandy I'm right there with ya. I am so ashamed with myself. I have gone back in my mind to craving and trying all the stuff I haven't eaten for the last months out. I feel totally out of control and each day resolve to get back in control. I am fine all morning and actually not too bad in the evening but afternoons - oh my gosh I can't seem to stop myself - I actually think my nutrients have been almost zero but calories, well... I eat til I'm stuffed and then eat more. I know it's making me feel sluggish and slow and tired. I don't dump on the foods I shouldn't eat and end up dumping on foods that I could eat I know I'm not hungry but still want to put food in my mouth. I don't get why I've turned back into this food monster. I had WLS not only to loose weight and become healthy again, but to not allow food to control me or my life anymore. I want to be free of all that. But it has come back with a vengence. I too want to get back to basics and know that I can do this. I've done it before and I can do it again. What are you going to be eating now on your basics plan? Please can I join in?

I totally feel and understand were you are coming from. Last week did it for me. I had been eating things I shouldn't have and wasn't exercising as much as I should. This week I am back on track and doing fine but it took a lot of will power for me to get back on track. I havent been completely perfect with the eating I have my sugarfree candy and some really candy, but I have been exercising it made me feel better. Well i hope you feel better. Lorraine

All right guys.. lets all do this together.. I have been fighting this too... Lets all head back to the basics.. I've been sneaking extra carbs lately.. the pretzels.. I dont have anymore is the only reason I havent been eating them.. and i need to go shopping today and they will be staring at me wanting me to buy them.. I am gonna leave them on the shelf.. lets all stick together.. start a thread.. on track ok.. and we can report if we did what we are supose to do each day.. so lets get this party started...

what is it in the air or what? I have been so tired and blue and wanting to eat things not good for me.... If I didn't dunp so bad I would have no will power..... I did the diet soda and straw today, now feel like crap! oh well Missed ya Mandy! were all in this together

Mandy, I completely understand... I was eating Doritos as I read your post! UHG. I hate that I am so tempted by this crap again, I am going back to basic's with you. Today is friday ( payday and grochery day for me, so I am going to the store to stock up too! ) Hugs, Jacqueline

Hi Mandy! This week i'm doing well (with the exception of today when i had a half bagel at a baby shower). I bought some diet green tea with ginseng and honey, it's a diuretic and I think i need that! Good for you getting back on track, we've got goals to reach and happiness to attain. Be Well and know that i'm here for you, ANDI

I hate that so many of you are going through this because it feels HORRIBLE! BUT I'm so glad I'm not alone. The computers at work yesterday had to be shutdown right after I posted. So I've got alot of reading to do today. I thank God everyday for this board and for each of you. Mandy