I'm mad

My friend called today so I wanted to share with her about hitting the normal range. She thought about having surgery but choice to loose weight the traditional way with diet. She has lost about 40 pounds so far and I am very proud of her for doing it. We talk often about our journeys and so I didnt think she would feel this way. After I told her about hitting 150 she said.. well yeah.. its easy for you.. u dont have a stomach...grrrr.... after all the times we've talked and shared our journey's how could she say that to me.. I told her that it's just as hard for me... we dont deal with actual hunger but the real problem in all diets is the head hunger.. It is a lot of work getting to where I am.. I have choicen not to eat bread, snacks, etc when I could have eaten them long ago.. that is dieting.. im sorry.. its not about not having a stomach... I know ppl today that have failed with wls.. they only lost a small amount and gained it back.. its about changing our lives.. making better choices.. having the courage to just say no to things that you dont need.. I think about food all the time.. i want things all the time.. i choice not to act on it. This surgery just got the ball rolling.. the rest is up to us to do.. how dare she say that. So I say this to her and she shrugs and say.. well I guess you could fail.. but ... I just walked away...

My sister said the same thing....she said sure you are losing but you took the easy way out.....I said you think this is easy? Think again. I do not speak to my sister now and it has been 4months. Good luck, Kel

Oh Carla! That is a terrible thing for her to say to you! She has no idea. You are very right ... this still is a diet of sorts. We still have to watch what we eat, count calories, be active, etc. Everything a "normal" person would have to do to lose weight. We still have to do those things too! Why don't people get that? I had a friend tell me it must be nice to have effortless lost the amount of weight I have. I promptly told her I put a lot of effort into losing this weight. It didn't happen all on its own! I still have to put the work into it. That comment still grates on my nerves though! At least you have lots of friends here who understand! And we're all VERY happy for you being NORMAL!!! Deanna

I know.. what do they think.. we just go into some trance and no longer want or desire all that food we ate before.. this is such hard work and constant thought..

Oh Carla You must be so hurt I have stopped telling my friends my weight loss (unless they ask and then play it down) as I started to get the feeling that although they are pleased for me, it was affecting our relationships. I wish this journey was something I could share more with them, but I know it is affecting them in a negative way, highlighting the fact that they are not loosing as much as they would like and then they see me getting smaller than them when I've always been the fatter one. WLS certainly brings lots of things up doesn't it. It really is about so much more than just us loosing weight, and it affects us and the people around us in so many different ways. I suggest you have some 'space' from your friend for a while, to heal from the hurt she has caused you. Then when you feel strong enough you can maybe tell her how it made you feel? Although I know I can't do that kind of thing! too scared of conflict! But as others have said, you've still got us and we are SO proud of you and all that you have accomplished

Yeah me too.. I only said something today because I hit that goal and she always comes to me for support while she looses weight.. funny thing and what I think really bothers her.. she weighed more than i did and actually went to the doctor and ask for the surgery. she got such a negative response from her family and friends she backed out and decided to loose weight without having the surgery. I think it bothers her knowing that she could be at the same place I am if she would have done the surgery like she wanted too.. so she is self justifiying herself by putting me down. I am trying to understand her side but... i am just so hurt it makes it hard. Hey ruth I reposted on wheres ruth about your daughter did you see it.