Body perception

At 7 months out and down 105 pounds and in a size 8 pants. current weight is 160. I just dont see myself as smaller. I know I have to be and my clothes are getting way smaller, but am I skinny. I catch myself freaking out when the scale doesn't move worrying i wont loose anymore. When does our minds catch up to our body. This morning I was dropping my son off at daycare and this young kid (a teenager) was listening to the provider and I talk. She started dieting a few months ago after coming back to work and seeing my weight loss. She told me today that she was down 20 pounds and wanted to loose another fifty. I told her I still needed to loose 25 to 30 pounds to get to my goal. This young girl looks at me and says... why.. your skinny you dont need to loose any more weight. I told her I did and I was far from skinny. So the question is.. am I skinny or is it just the worlds perception of what American's look like today. I weighed 155/160 in high school which is the same as I weigh now. I think clothes were smaller than so I was probably smaller. I dont think I considered myself skinny than either, but it wasn't a priority back than, and no one ever said I was big. I have looked at the pics of me in hs and I seemed to look ok. I could have been smaller. In America today you can go to any store and purchase womans clothes (sizes 18 to 24). In the old days that was a speciality store item. American's have become so overweight as a nation that larger size clothes are no longer a specialty item. So we just keep gaining and gaining. That was me until I said no more. So is my body perception off. I know I still have weight to loose.. the BMI says so and this tire around my middle says so although it gets smaller each day thank goodness. Will there ever be a day that I can look at myself and say... damn I look good. I'm already looking into ps in hopes of getting some of this excess skin off me. I confused now... what do I really look like, am I skinnier, am I looking better; I know I feel better? Wow.. this whole topic is gotten me spinning. Help!!!!

I feel the exact same way. My BMI is at normal, and I am wearing size 10 pants, weighing in at 155-156, or if you see my previous post my weight has fluctuated +/- 3 lbs this week alone. I have about 13 lbs to go to hit my nutritionist's goal/19 to hit the standardized 'ideal size' chart. I still don't 'see' how I look thinner. I still see myself in XL shirts etc...I am large framed so that is part of it, but I just don't see myself. Last night my brother mentioned that he found Christmas photos from about 3 years ago. He said, "Oh my God, I didn't realize, but you were huge!" Ah gee thanks, bro. but it's true. Then my 5 yr old chimed in. "Yeah, Momma was this big." (puts hands way apart) "And now you are this tiny." (moves hands in very close) It was in a weird way a great feeling. I don't know if I will ever see myself as normal, and maybe that is a good thing. Maybe it will keep me moving and doing the right things.

You are not alone! I found this post on the main board a few weeks ago & it is so true to my feelings!!!----- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- I found this post from Kathy and Rich on the main board & it described what I am going through to a T!!! "I'm 18 months post-op. I reached my goal at 14 month post-op. The whole concept of reaching goal seemed very foreign to me. It was like there was this mental thought when I got there at first of "Wow" and then "I'm done" or "I'm there". Then your mind plays this game... do I look the way I thought I would look at goal. Usually that answer is "No". Obviously, our minds aren't in synch with our true appearance. That takes a while. Then we start negotiating with ourselves. "Hmmm, maybe 5 more lbs..." when in reality... we are fine as we are. We do not need to lose more. It is merely a number on the scale and not a measure of our true worth. We are healthy. That is the bottom line. We aren't perfect and losing a few more pounds won't get us there. And of course, let us not forget... the fact that heavier bodies mean heavier skeletons so our bodies are heavier by nature. Plus we have the extra skin weight. So losing more... won't fix those things. Then you mind says "What now?" What do I do? How do I maintain? What the heck is maintenance anyway? I've never had to maintain my weight before. I've only been in a state of perpetually losing weight or thinking about losing weight or not giving a derned about my weight. LOL! Then the reality sets in, that it is going to take work to maintain. This isn't magic. We have to exercise. We have to avoid falling back into old habits. While I hate to say this is a diet, it is truly a new way of doing things. We have to keep doing what we were doing only add enough more cals to stop the losing. Sounds good on paper but not easy to deal with emotionally. Eating more? You want me to eat more? I don't want to gain/regain. Then another issue pops us. We start missing or pining away for the feeling you get when you see the scale go down. The euphoria, high, feeling, etc... is addictive. Many of us end up missing the "rush". We spend so much time thinking about losing... what is there to do when you are done. What do you focus your time and energies on? As for me personally, reaching goal made me feel good for a short while and then I felt a bit empty. I was wondering what I do next. I haven't figure it out yet but I'm trying. I'm lucky that my mind has seemed to have caught up with my true body over the past several months and I think I honestly see me as I am. I did it through looking at myself and studying myself. Looking at my clothing and seeing how dang small it is. Looking at other people and trying to compare... am I bigger, am I smaller, am I the same as them. I asked my husband that quite a few times. It helped me to get a perspective by hearing what he saw and then looking at someone else. Strange that comparisons really helped me. I've decided that I'm happy where I am. I get on the scale and I'm honestly happy. I've weighed daily for years so the small fluctations do not bother me and are expected. No freaking here. Logically I determined, I'm done and emotionally I've accepted it. My body is far from perfect. But it is strong, active, and healthy. I can wear nice clothing and look good... look normal (with a bit of help from body shapers that is....LOL!) People who have never met me cannot tell and probably think I'm normal and have perhaps always been that way. What a concept. Not sure if this helps. I've rambled on. Kathy" Thanks Kathy for sharing! Darlene

I hear all the time that I am skinny, and I feel my bones on my shoulders and freak, thinking, yep, i am skinny but my family are mixed. my children think that I am too skinny, my husband thinks that I am great, but could be skinnier. my parents are are still just supportive. yes, the obese people have influenced the market place and there are more clothing selection for the fluffier people in our 'comfort' stores, the ones that we have built up a relationship because we KNEW they had what we wanted/need. now we are in a totally different market share and have to find new comfort places to shop that cater to our new size. so here I am. I am at a comfortable size, pre-babies size, and I have to find a new vendor. my old vendor is just not going to cut it for me. as for my closet I just got rid of my last vestiges of size 20 / 2x world. bagged and tagged for someone else in our church that has a need. I have to accept that I am a size 10, maybe a size 8 and that the size 20 world is gone. gone forever. there is no going back. even the size L is gone for me. so I am a S/M and I have to accept that. there are other size S/M and I have to form a new relationship with them. as for the me in the mirror. yep, ps is in my future. my belly is atrocious. there is estimated 10 lbs of skin there. fine. 18 months before a surgeon will touch it. in the mean time. I just have to stop touching myself. HAHAHA

Wow, I couldn't have written this better myself. We're the exact same size (size 8 and 157lbs here). Everyone friends, family, coworkers call me "skinny" constantly and I do not see it in the least. I still look in the mirror and see "Fat Megan". At times I don't feel like I look any different at 157 then I did at 294. Obviously this is impossible but looking in the mirror I still see fat fat fat. I feel like the people saying that I'm "skinny" are saying this to be nice... and it makes me SO uncomfortable. I just got back from shopping because I'm still wearing a lot of size 10 clothes and they're falling off me. I was able to squeeze my fat butt into 6's although they barely buttoned. I ended up buying 2 size 6 skirts and 3 pairs of size 8 pants. Who in their right mind fits into a size 6 and thinks they're fat still? My stomach is flat with the exception of the loose skin. My thighs in my eyes are still huge - too with a lot of extra skin. It's nasty!

Well I don't have people calling me skinny yet. lol! But I was talking with my husband about something that sorta relates. I think we had been to the mall that day and in the car I saying saying how happy I was to be in my size 14's, but that I couldn't wait until I was in a size 4. And that maybe 130 will be too heavy, I am only 5'2 maybe my goal should be lower... In that some thought I realized, I won't be any happier in a size 4, than I am in a 14. Because happiness is something that comes from inside your self, not your jean size. I think so many of us with weight problems are trying to please other people, and aren't thinking enough about ourselves... Do you feel comfortable with your body, are you healthy, do you treat yourself well??? These should be the questions we ask ourselves.

IN MY NEXT LIFE I'M GONNA BE TALL THAT'S WHAT I'M GOING TO ASK G*D FOR! I'M 157LBS AND A SIZE 14 AND I WANT TO BE TALLER SO I LOOK SLIMMER! I DO HAVE SOME SERIOUSLY DANGEROUS CURVES THOUGH! andi