Check out this great post!!

I found this post from Kathy and Rich on the main board & it described what I am going through to a T!!! "I'm 18 months post-op. I reached my goal at 14 month post-op. The whole concept of reaching goal seemed very foreign to me. It was like there was this mental thought when I got there at first of "Wow" and then "I'm done" or "I'm there". Then your mind plays this game... do I look the way I thought I would look at goal. Usually that answer is "No". Obviously, our minds aren't in synch with our true appearance. That takes a while. Then we start negotiating with ourselves. "Hmmm, maybe 5 more lbs..." when in reality... we are fine as we are. We do not need to lose more. It is merely a number on the scale and not a measure of our true worth. We are healthy. That is the bottom line. We aren't perfect and losing a few more pounds won't get us there. And of course, let us not forget... the fact that heavier bodies mean heavier skeletons so our bodies are heavier by nature. Plus we have the extra skin weight. So losing more... won't fix those things. Then you mind says "What now?" What do I do? How do I maintain? What the heck is maintenance anyway? I've never had to maintain my weight before. I've only been in a state of perpetually losing weight or thinking about losing weight or not giving a derned about my weight. LOL! Then the reality sets in, that it is going to take work to maintain. This isn't magic. We have to exercise. We have to avoid falling back into old habits. While I hate to say this is a diet, it is truly a new way of doing things. We have to keep doing what we were doing only add enough more cals to stop the losing. Sounds good on paper but not easy to deal with emotionally. Eating more? You want me to eat more? I don't want to gain/regain. Then another issue pops us. We start missing or pining away for the feeling you get when you see the scale go down. The euphoria, high, feeling, etc... is addictive. Many of us end up missing the "rush". We spend so much time thinking about losing... what is there to do when you are done. What do you focus your time and energies on? As for me personally, reaching goal made me feel good for a short while and then I felt a bit empty. I was wondering what I do next. I haven't figure it out yet but I'm trying. I'm lucky that my mind has seemed to have caught up with my true body over the past several months and I think I honestly see me as I am. I did it through looking at myself and studying myself. Looking at my clothing and seeing how dang small it is. Looking at other people and trying to compare... am I bigger, am I smaller, am I the same as them. I asked my husband that quite a few times. It helped me to get a perspective by hearing what he saw and then looking at someone else. Strange that comparisons really helped me. I've decided that I'm happy where I am. I get on the scale and I'm honestly happy. I've weighed daily for years so the small fluctations do not bother me and are expected. No freaking here. Logically I determined, I'm done and emotionally I've accepted it. My body is far from perfect. But it is strong, active, and healthy. I can wear nice clothing and look good... look normal (with a bit of help from body shapers that is....LOL!) People who have never met me cannot tell and probably think I'm normal and have perhaps always been that way. What a concept. Not sure if this helps. I've rambled on. Kathy" Thanks Kathy for sharing! Darlene

Thanks for this post Darlene I have NEVER given a thought to life at goal and I now realise that I should have. What will life be like not constantly wanting to loose weight. What will I do without the joy of seeing the scales go down? etc etc etc. This post has really made me think and has been really helpful. Thank you for sharing it

You're welcome sweetie!

Thanks for the post. The best part for me is: Then you mind says "What now?" What do I do? How do I maintain? What the heck is maintenance anyway? I've never had to maintain my weight before. I've only been in a state of perpetually losing weight or thinking about losing weight or not giving a derned about my weight. LOL! Totally!!!! I mean, who the hell am I if I am not trying to lose weight or resolved to not care that I am fat? Who will this non-loser be? Rachael

Exactly! Isn't that a strange concept? Darlene

I have to have a chat with my surgeon this week. I rescheduled it from 10 days ago because I was in the middle of a stall and he is known to be a dickhead about those that fail to lose on schedule (command) from posts that I have read online. and this is occured to me. HELLO. this is my body, not his project. my body is mine. so now I am like, what the flip. I will march in there and he can record my numbers and if he has anything to say, he can just bite my booty. but the real underlying issue is somewhere inside my body is a little girl screaming, what the flip are you going to do? do when you do not reach goal. do when you reach goal. do when you can stop at goal. I am a chronic worrier, and this is just giving my brain a field day! I think I will nibble some more on some beef jerky.

You are right. It is your body. Have some more beef jerky! Ha ha. Darlene

Thank you Darlene for sharing this with us. WOW! And how true this is! I am not at goal yet but well on my way and am already starting to feel some of these things. It is hard for me emotionally to accept the fact that I am on my way to looking "normal" - you know not like a fat slob that I always felt I was. Even already with 78 lbs. off - I am starting to feel differently and sometimes this is mind boggling. Darlene N. 262/184/145

I don't even know how to act when people treat me "normal." Honestly, people who did not know me before, do not know that I was ever morbidly obese. It is a strange feeling, but I do not ever want to go back. Darlene