Just Feel Llike I Can't Relate

Thanks so much Trish!!! I am glag I inspired you. It's nice to know there are some lurkers out there who's nuts are telling them the same thing mine is - now I can stop wondering whether my nut is nuts. *snicker* OK - that wasn't that funny!! I really hope you do decide to post more often. Variety is the spice of life and we need everyone's different experiences around here to make sure everyone feels welcome and supported.

Because we are all different, I am not going to be afraid to speak MY mind about this. Amy....I don't care HOW many calories you eat in a day. I don't post that, I just post meals. I thought the point of the thread was to get ideas from each other and to be able to experienment when we were out of ideas. I also don't care about what your nutritionist tells you to do. And you shouldn't care about mine. We are just supposed to do what ours tells us. Also, I haven't seen a "carb crazy" post in quite some time. I have actually noticed on this thread that more people are experimenting with good carbs. I think that's pretty healthy. I can't relate to someone who craves food just like you can't relate to me given that I don't, but that doesn't mean we can't learn other things from each other. We are getting to the point where we are going to have emotional issues, or probs with exercising.....the food thing is pretty worked out individually for us by now. You know what you are allowed and what you are not. I have never seen anyone post "wow Amy eats a lot" we just take it as you....you eat what you are told to. Your frustrations are noted. Deanna....I post as often as I can on the food thread, mostly becasue I read it religiously to get ideas, so I figure it's only fair I post. I am sorry if you feel my post or another post is a lie as if we are trying to look like we are eating less than we are. That's crazy. I know it doesn't help anyone persay to tell you that I had the same darn protein bar each and every morning, but it doens't make it any less true. It just keeps me accountable to post it every day even if I have 600 calories and you have 1000. Again, what difference does it make if you are following your nutritionit's guidelines. And no, I do not believe in snacking. Is this because I am narcissistic and self sabotaging? NO! It's because my nutritionist plainly has it written in my dietary guidelines. Three meals a day, no snacks. If I am starving, I will eat a cheese stick or something...I am human. But I am trying to play by her rules, becuase she is who I see. When people ask for advice, I say....this is what I do...no snacking. That doesn't mean it will work for you. Generally, I feel a bit offended by these posts. Only because I don't feel I have done anything that should have "alienated" people. I just post what I am feeling that day and what I eat and I try to be encouraging when I have enough stamina to pass some on. Really, how are we alienating people by just sharing our own stories? Rachael

Hi Rachael! I am so sorry if I gave you the impression that I think what you're doing in wrong because I do NOT! I think you are doing a great job and just because your Nut says no snacking doesn't mean I think it's wrong. Obviously it's working for you! What I might think is realistic for me might be totally different for you. And, like you said, we have to follow the guidelines given to us. That is why they are professionals in this field ... they know what works for their patients! I'm sorry if I made you feel bad and I certainly don't want any ill-feelings over this! I think you have a lot of willpower not to snack ... that has always been a huge weakness for me. So I applaud you for that! And I agree ... I think the "what did you eat" posts are meant to give people ideas on what to eat when you get bored with your normal routine. I don't think Amy was trying to offend anyone by her post. I personally can understand her fears and concerns and that is why I responded as I did. I think we're all entitled to express our feelings and take comfort in the fact that there might be others experiencing the same things. Again, I'm sorry if I made you feel bad over the whole snacking thing! That wasn't my intention at all! Forgive me if I did! Deanna

Rachael If I have offended you, I am very sorry. That was not my intent what so ever. I hope we can all continue to be as supportive to each other as we always have been. On the snacking front - I don't have a NUT or any follow up from my surgeon, so I get all my advice from here. Your advice re snacking has really helped me as I have no will power once I go down that road. I have one snack then another then another and go back to old habits and graze all day. My concern about people being left out was only to encourage us to grow in our postings, not to critisise the existing ones. I take advice from all of you - if it suits my body. I wasn't given any guidelines on how much / little I should be eating. But my body will not loose weight if I eat more, so I have to eat very little if I want to loose weight. I am sorry if that makes anyone feel they should eat the same as me. But as I said before I don't want anyone to feel left out or offended on this board. It may be idealistic but I want us to all remain here, as friends supporting each other with, as has already been posted, our different experiences. We need each other, and different kinds of support at different times.

Hi Rachael - First - let me apologize - I reread what I wrote and I can totally see where you are coming from. I really didn't mean to imply that anyone was judging me, alienating me or doing anything blatently rude. I didn't want to imply that anyone else's actions have been done is any sort of spite. What I mean is that it is ME who compares myself to others and I am turning it around and feeling negatively about my own actions. I guess I did imply that people are judging my high calories and excessive snacking - and you are right - no one has every said anything and has probably even though it. But I can't stop my mind from making these things up. All my life I've heard the snickers and seen the looks and I always assumed they were about me - a life of being obese has made us all weary of other people's unspoken thoughts and feelings. And even here I let my mind get the best of me - I shouldn't assume anything - especially from a group of people who have been where I have been and are going where I am going. I really love the "what are you eating" thread - because on those days when I put EVERYTHING into fitday and I think it was such a good day - according to my guidelines - I happily post. And when I check back the next day I can see I have eaten 2-3 times what everyone else has and it does make me question myself. I know other people are on the same page as me now - and I appreciate the support I got after posting this. That thread to me is my accountability to myself. In some ways I do use it to get ideas - but honestly I don't see a lot of other people who post who are having big prepared dinners and meals and snacks - so mostly it is just an accountability thing. It means something different to everyone. I want to say I am sorry again that I made you feel like you had done anything to upset me or that I might have in anyway judged your routines or methods. You are certainly one of my fav people on the board and I always eagerly read your threads when I see your name!!! I just felt like I needed someone else out there who is more on the same page with me on my journey and I feel fortunate that there are others on here who have spoken up now that say they can "relate". I'm a girly girl - what can I say - I was needing some girlfriend boost or something. Can I just say sorry one more time?? How about a kiss?? Too forward?

Don't leave!!!!!! I know my pouch is very small (smaller than an egg). I have to eat several meals a day... I try and do not always do it. But In the end our journey is the same..... I have read what you have written and never thought of your posts as anything other than someone like me! {I have NEVER cringed at what you ate} Your recipes are yummy and have helped me think of something to fix my family. So don't go ! and don't judge yourself! We don't judge you! We like you! Jean

Thanks Jean!! That is something that I have to remind myself. Even though our surgeries are all basically the same procedure - they certainly are NOT the same. Different lengths of bypass, differnet stoma sizes and definetely different pouch sizes!!! My surgeon even told me that because of my age and size and the fact that I still plan to have more children that he was going to make my pouch a little bigger. I'm glad you like my recipes!! I am really passionate about cooking and since surgery I have really learned how to cook healthy for my family. It makes me feel really good to prepare those meals and I think I am channeling my old bad obsession about foods into a good one. Hubby says I need to go tryout for the food network reality show or whatever or he says I should be a nutritionalist. That makes me feel good about what I am doing now. Don't get me wrong - like I said - old BAD obsessions still definetely creep up on me. I know no one is judging me - but you are right - I certainly need to stop judging myself!! Thanks for caring enough about me to reply! (HUG)

Hello Amy, I think that you and I have compared "dr's notes" before. My doc says that at the six month mark I should be eating around 1200 calories a day. I'm considered a light-weight (as you are) and he does not want me to lose too much weight. He says that is a danger with lightweights. Now, I'm 44 and 5' 2" tall, if I remember correctly you are much younger and MUCH taller (yes, you probably heard a little envy in my busily typing fingers ) I bet if you went to my doc he would want you at a good deal more than 1200 cals a day! No wonder you are hungry! You know what I'd recommend, go to fitday.com type in your age, height, weight, activity level... and see how many cals a day they say you can eat to maintain your weight. You have to burn 3500 calories more than you consume to lose a pound, so cut your calories accordingly. I personally have read many of your posts and it sounds to me like you are doing great! There are people who struggle to get in 600 cals a day (maybe their pouches are smaller or maybe this surgery has affected them differently) and there are people who can eat 2000 cals a day and STILL lose weight (good for them, if only it were me!!) We all have different insides, outsides, metabolisms... we are all so different. Fact is, most of us are going to get where we need to be on this journey. I believe this more and more everyday. Please don't stop posting. Your posts always make me smile and I'm glad to know there are other WLS people out there that still love to cook and still love food and still want to eat. I don't want to be on a "diet" for the rest of my life. I want to eat healthy small portions of good food, satistying food, life sustaining food that I (mostly) prepare myself. Eating is not like smoking, we can't give it up. It has to be a healthy part of our lives. I know I'm rambling, but just one more thing, I have a naturally thin husband and 2 naturally thin daughters (age 20 & 22 yrs). They eat what their bodies want, when they are hungry, till they are full. If they have a day they are only a little hungry they only eat a little, and if they have a day they are really hungry they eat more! I am starting to understand that, I'm starting to be able to eat like that, with the help of this wonderful tool. I'm so glad I had this surgery. I think that's one thing the majority of us have in common, our gratitude for this surgery. Sincerely, Deb

Whew - a girl goes to lunch and comes back and finds her thread on fire. My fingers are burning up!!! I do remember comparing our Dr notes before!! I was probably bringing up the same points before. I think I am insecure about what I am doing - even though it is within the guidelines of what my dr/nut wants. I guess I keep constantly looking for reassurance that I am not the only one trailing down some dark WLS path - and this thread has certainly confirmed that I am not alone!!! It's amazing the support and confidence you can get from a place like this - people that if you passed on the street would be total strangers but somehow we have all come here and made this amazing supportive network. I wouldn't say I am MUCH younger then you. You only have a few years on my husband (I won't go into how I like to tease him about robbing the cradle though - he he) And yes - I am quite a tall one - almost 6 foot. Try to keep your jealousy at bay - it really limits the number of eligible bachelors a girl can have when you tend to be taller then 2/3 of all the adult male population. If I had been confident growing up I might have embraced my height a little more - but alas at 300+ lbs all it has left me with is a bad posture from all the slumping and slouching I was doing trying to not get noticed. Maybe when I get to goal I'll dye my hair blonde and really live it up with this stature I've been granted! You are abosultely right about the one thing we have in common. We are all grateful. It has saved all of our lives. Oh - that and the 30 minute rule?? Has anyone noticed that this seems to be the ONLY consensus amoung our WLS professionals? *scratches head* Thanks for your words Deb - they really really meant a lot to me!

Boy, Amy, you certainly aren't alone. A few weeks ago I was having a really hard time, feeling like I'm a slow loser and it is because I eat too much. I spoke with my nutritionist told me that I should be eating between 1000-1200 calories per day, and that they certainly don't consider me a slow loser (76 lbs from surgery on 5/26) - it's just impossible to really compare our progress to anyone else's due to differences in metabolism, etc. But I often feel like I eat more than others similarly situated - I have to work to stay in the 1000-1200 range - it's really NOT THAT MUCH! At the same time, I excersice frequently, and I don't want to undereat and totally mess up my metabolism with "starvation mode" going forward - I already fear that this is an unintended consequence of the surgery. So trust me, I hear you and completely relate (as likely do many others). I am often in the same boat - including struggling with the emotional issues and the fact that food is just so darn GOOD! I just walked into my office and told my coworkers that I would kill for a Snickers! Wisely (and thankfully), I opted for hot tea with artificial sweetner instead. Seems to help the sweet tooth.... but certainly isn't as yummy! As I often tell people, the surgery is fantastic, but it certainly doesn't take the work out of weight loss. It is still REALLY HARD WORK. I feel like I have to make a sincere and calculated effort every day to eat right, exercise, and get the proper nutrition. And some days I still don't do as well as I should.. those days are just a lot less frequent as prior to surgery!