Frustrated with Husband- need support

Hi everyone, It has been a few weeks since I have posted... okay maybe like 6. Well I am just sooo frustrated and know I can count on my friends on this board for some support. On Wed. the author, Barbara Thompson, who wrote Finding the Thin Person Inside You and co-author of WLS for Dummies was in town and I went to go see her. She was really good and I left the program feeling really inspired and positive. I hadn't been to the gym in a few weeks either (I ofcoarse could give you a million excuses why) so I say to my husband that I wanted to go to the gym in the next morning. He didn't say anything until like an hour later and then says in a disgusted tone "So, are you really going to go the gym?" I tell him yes. Then he says... "Well thanks for springing this on me now, maybe I wanted to go to the gym" I still can't believe he said that, he hasn't been to the gym in months, he didn't wor****il 10am... he didn't want to get his *** outta bed to take care of our toddler, while I was at the gym. So I was soo irritated by his comment that I woke up the next day and packed a gym bag and just left work early and had a great workout. As long as I don't interfere with his schedule, he is supportive... isn't that annoying!?!? I wish he were more supportive. I try to take our daughter to the 'Child Watch' at the YMCA but it just doesn't work... I so want it to work but she cries everytime, then I have to leave disappointed again b/c I so wanted to exercise. I work full-time and she goes to day-care... I don't know what it is. I guess I just need to get up earlier in the day. I just get soooo frustrated b/c I get no support from my husband. I was soo disappointed by his reaction to my comment that I haven't really talked to him since. Do any of you have unsupportive spouses and how do you deal with it? AND If you work full-time and have kids, how to you make time to get to the gym? (I know I just have to do it, but I guess I need some encouragement b/c I am not gettin' at home ) Thank you, Kristen

First of ((((((((((HUGS)))))))))) and 's to you. I'm sorry about your situaton with your hubby. It is hard to make it to the gym, my problem is my job, not my hubby and children they're older. I just get stuck at work alot and dont get to make it afterwards. Maybe you can walk at your local park with your toddler, just a suggestion. Either way know that yes you have OUR support here on the board, and I hope things get better.............stay encouraged & focused, OUR journies has just begun Simone

Hi Kristen - First of all, my hometown is Erie, PA! Small world! I now live in San Francisco, but my parents are still in Erie. My father works at Behrend. I'm single and have never been married, so I don't have a lot of credibility here, but I'm going to go out on a limb. Do you think your husband is feeling insecure about your weight loss, and changes in your appearance, and is maybe tyring to sabatoge(probably unconsciously) your weight loss efforts? He may not be aware that he's feeling threatened or insecure about your changes, and instead its coming out about the gym issue. Just a thought....you might want to ask him about it. Or, maybe he is just doing what you said - is supportive unless its interfering (or he's perceiving it interfering) with his schedule. Anyway, as I said, I don't have much personal experience to base this on, but these were my thoughts. Hopefully some other members can offer you some good advice! Best of luck! Heather

Hi Kristen, This is a strange transition time for us & our families. We are wanting to finally take some time for ourselves. My best friend & I went today & had a manicure & pedicure & then went shopping & out to dinner. I never would have taken that much time for myself before. Luckily my husband didn't have a problem with it today. I bet your husband's comment did have a bit to do with new insecurity...or maybe he just likes his routine. Either way, I say talk to him. Tell him how that made you feel. Do not bottle it up inside & do not go to bed angry. I know from experience those 2 things can really hurt your marriage. I hope you can work it out so you keep hubby happy & baby happy & still get to work out! Hugs, Darlene

I also think your husband is insecure, my husband is supportive in some ways but insecure as well, I understand the frustration, with a child/ toddler at home it makes it worse. My son is 14 so it's a bit easier for me although with his school schedule and after school activities and my husband wanting dinner blah blah blah.... I have to just get out the door and head to the gym. My sister has a 1 year old. she just got a stroller that she hooks on the back of her bike and is getting exercise that way as well as taking the baby for walks with her. I don't know if this helps at all but I send you HUGS and lots of support.

I am super, duper, sorry that your husband is a butt sniffer. I can imagine having a husband like that, but I only ended up putting up with it for 9 years, and then I upgraded and got a younger, nicer, and richer model. version 2.1 ROCKS! I explained that I am going somewhere 2 days in advance, and put it on the electronic calendar, finally one that he looks at, he doesnt look at the one in the kitchen. and he is supportive. he will modify his schedule if I am working/ running errands / working out, whatever. while my would no more go to the gym with me than start eating beef (he is devout vegetarian) he would definately be supportive, and watch the kids and take care of the house. personally, I totally do not have the motivation to go to the gym, he knows it, I know it, it just isnt going to happen. we took the money that would have been wasted on a gym, and built a home gym for both of us. coverted a spare bedroom, added in a tv with surround sound, a stationary bike, a weight bench, weights, bands, a ball, a trampoline and we are in tall cotton. going to the gym for me is watching Cold Case or Grey's Anatomy. I work while the show is on, and then I am done. the only difference is that I am a bit older, much more grouchier, so my family does not mess with me, I swear, they would rather move quietly through the house than have me get grouchy and come up with a family service project. after a few years, you will get the same way, instead of living life in the shadows, you will find that you have just run out of patience with people being butt sniffers and you will TELL them where the BEAR poops in the woods. and smile because they will agree or hide. Kat [Photographer & Mom of 5] [[ Some people are like slinkies, they don't really have a purpose, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.]] 275/247/177/150 start/surgery/today/goal

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate your posts. We didn't talk for almost a week and finally we did and things have been better. OH, and I actually made it to the gym three times this week!!!!!!! Thanks for your inspirations and support! Kristen