I'm headed back to old habits - HELP ME!

I must be PMSing because let me tell you HOW MUCH I grazed today! This was my final day on food (don't flame me please - help me! LOL) B - protien shake S1 - cheese stick S2 - roast beef slice L - 2 roast beef slice, 1 meatball, tbs chicken salad, tbs apple crisp (had an event for lunch which provided WAY too much food) S3 - Mini sugar cookie S4 - Mini chocolate chip cookie S5- Mini hershey bar S6 - dill pickle slice D - 1/2 bean burritto What the hell is wrong with me eating like this? I'm shocked that it was only a total of 910 calories. This is by far the most I've eaten since surgery. I'm sick that I could eat like this. How DISGUSTING! Grazing is getting out of control for me again.

Megan, I know exactly how you are feeling. Here lately I have been having days where I seem like I am eating more, but then it passes. I just try not to eat unless I am hungry. I hate to admit this, but the other night I actually got out of bed to get some Halloween pretzels (luckily a pack is only 50 calories). After I eat the foods I am not supposed to (example- a handful of baked Cheetos- they are my weakness) I feel so guilty. Just know that it is just a slip up and think of today as your monthly "free day"!!! Danice

Megan, don't beat yourself up about it. I think we are all going through the stage where we're grazing or feeling like we want to "snack" on those things we know we shouldn't. I think it's all a part of how they say the further out from surgery we get, and the closer we get to goal, the more susceptible we become to falling back to old habits. The good thing is our new tool only allows us to eat a little bit at a time. At some point, I'm told, we don't want to deprive ourselves of some things we want anyway, because that just makes us obsess about it. I know that's how I used to be when I'd try to diet. So even though you think you ate a lot, when you take a look at the portions you ate, and the total number of calories for the day, it wasn't too terribly bad. I think it was a good suggestion that we all have a "free" day once a month. We can "forgive" ourselves or indulge a little in things we want, and then feel good about knowing it won't hurt us, and we can go back to our regular routine the next day. You've been doing really great with your weight loss, Megan. Look at how far you've come, and before you know it you'll be at goal!!!

My nutritionist only allows me three meals a day, no snacks. Now, lots of folks get to have snacks or several small meals etc. But, not mine. When I asked her about it after noticing this wasn't other folks m.o. She said that because once you have one snack it's easy to get in the habit of eating bits and bites not during meal time...it snowballs. I guess that when you are 'cold turkey' off snacks it's easier to catch yourself. Who knows. Mostly I just think that in the long run we are all going to have bad days. I mean, when your 4 years out it would be unrealistic to be as restricted as we are now. Mistakes won't be so bad then. It's normal ya know? You'll have a better day tommorrow Rachael

Dont' beat yourself up Megan, although I can relate to what you are saying. You know what, it has really helped me seeing what you ate today. I felt like I was the only one eating like this and all the old familiar insecurities were beginning to creep back. Just pick yourself up, dust off and start all over again as the song goes. Maybe your body was trying to tell you something? Are you lacking some nutrient or something? Just an idea Ruth

(((((((((((((((Megan))))))))))))))))))))))) I'm so proud of you for putting this out here like this! I too am a wicked grazer and i find myself eating snacks instead of meals which is not a great thibg either....almonds and beef jerky are my weaknesses right now i can also be accused of munching down some serious soy chips! Were you stressed out is that why you were munching down? I find that stress is my numero uno problem lately. Please be well, ANDI

while I am not a grazer, I totally feel your pain on the cookies / hershey bars. I guess the question is. WHO IS IN CONTROL, you or the food? I see that you (and I) have three possible courses of action 1) Not eat the goodies, and feel deprived and get beligerent and feel BAD when we fall off the wagon 2) Eat goodies in moderation, knowing that we ultimately control the situation, set a limit before we start, plan for it and feel that we have the right to put stuff in our bodies but we have the control on HOW MUCH. 3) **** and moan

**** and Moan baby.... love it! hahaha Thanks Kat - you're right!

you knew that before, hehehe seriously, I made cookies on saturday, and I am so glad that they are gone. I was nibbling away all week. they were just soo good. but I have all the self control of a billionaire at walmart. so, I know my weakness, I made a much smaller batch (I used to 5x my batches, now I 2x and that is it.) when they are gone, they are gone. no more goodies until FRIDAY. my son's birthday but instead of a 1/2 sheet cake from costco, I will bake a small 10" round and that will be IT! I know I will have some sweets, the trick is to get them in and out and done with least impact. but I still **** and moan. it is just my nature

Thank goodness you are a NORMAL HUMAN BEING!!!! Don't you dare beat yourself up over this ... as you said, your calories weren't bad at all! And I've been doing the same thing lately too ... I don't know how to let go of those old habits! I've been wondering if everyone is being totally and completely honest when listing what they ate during the day! Cuz it seems like most people aren't eating very much. And there are days when I keep reaching for stuff and eating a tad of this and a smidge of that. Ugh! And I'm wondering if I'm the only one ... Calgon, take me away!!! ..... Deanna