New found confidence.. new found direction?

Goodness you're talented woman! I love your work. I wish you were closer I'd use you no doubt. I love the baby feet on the back of the postcard - so adorable.

Kat, that is SO exciting! You must be scared to death though!!! How exhilerating that you are finding the courage within yourself to do something you really want to. I'm proud of you! No matter how many people turn out, you have accomplished a huge thing by doing this. You are very inspiring! Deanna

were you a cheerleader in a former life? stand leader? hehehe your really good at cheering! today I fussed over the promotional pieces. I think I finally am 'content with the layout' have sent off a TEST print (100 post cards) to see if I like them, just do not know if I can wait until they come back to take the plunge. may need to speed up my terjectory (sp?) but I told my husband, I have been piddling around for three years, I really need to DIVE IN, and he said I dont see why the hell not, you have already spent the money on the equipment, you have nothing to lose. it was a profound statement. I already made the investment, but I have not 'put myself out there' and risked anything emotionally. I must be the only recovering fat person that has felt like this. 6 months ago I discovered that I am an emotional eater. today I discovered that I am (can not even think of the word for timid/shy/nervous person)...... My entire life, my whole existance I have hidden behind an extroverted personality and sunny smile. no one knew that inside my stomache was like a blender with a live gold fish in it. ;) just anxiously waiting for someone to flip the switch and have gold fish smoothie. even now, I am hourly hyperventilating about doing such a public project. talk about falling on my face. it could be such a fiasco. or it could be such a FLOP. that would be just as bad. sitting there with NO ONE SHOWING UP. gawd the stress, the pressure, the humiliation. I do not know which is worse, demonstrating that I am unqualified or demonstrating that I have no friends/clients to show up.

Blossoming.....ummm....no I am budding. My mind has yet to catch up with all of this. Some of my friends have said I have always come across as very confident, but it's just a mask. I struggle with insecurity. Even post-op, I tear myself apart (critiquing) in the mirror. Droopy upper inner thighs, that roll beneath my bra on my back, etc... Darlene

oh sista I am right there with you, those 'pads' on my inner thighs just drive me nuts! between that and the droopy boobies, I shudder to think that my poor husband has to deal with this. oh well. he is surely paying for some indescretion in a past life. ;) first and foremost, you have to get past that critique! it serves no purpose. it benefits no one, it changes nothing. omg, the serenity prayer! God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next. Amen.

Hey, I like that. I've never heard the second half of that before. That is so appropriate. You are right, the critiquing serves no purpose ther than to drive me insane. Dar

Congratulations Kat, I know your Public Event will be a total success. Since I've been reading your posts for some time now, it sounds like you've got your act together, so this ought to go off without a hitch!! My self confidence is returning...finally. At our disco party last Friday nite, I was on the dance floor quite a bit (even if I didn't have a partner). It had gotten to the point (before WLS) that I wouldn't get on the dance floor, one because I got out of breath trying to get through one song and the other simply because I was so self conscious. My real phobia to overcome is airline seats. I'll have to be flying again soon and I used to have an absolute panic attack about fitting into the seats. Hopefully, my next experience will not be as tramatic!!

oh, the airline seats, for some reason, they are HUGE.. like ENORMOUS. I could fit two of me in there now! too freaky!

Well, I KNOW I could not fit two of me in an airline seat now...BUT I would happily settle for the one of me, without it feeling like I am gashing the sides of my thighs with the sides of those seats! I swear, there were times I would get to my hotel room and check to see if I had drawn blood!! I'll still carry my personal seat belt extension with me for security until I can be assured that I won't have a tramatic experience in that area too. Ohhh, the stories I could tell about the seat belt/flight attendant interactions!! Talk about humiliating!!