Relationships Changing

In a previous post Kat mentioned that some of her relationships had been affected due to her not being the size she used to be. I'd like to add to this and ask how your relationships are changing, if they are? I've always been the fat one in all my relaitonships, and the one who couldn't diet - I guess the failure. I'm now at the point of being the same size as one of my sisters - she's pleased for me. But I think my relationship with my 3 sisters is going to change once I'm thinner. Also it is changing the relationship I have with friends. Again I've always been the fat one - the one who they can look at and think at least I'm not as fat as her. Maybe I'm putting words into their mouths but I don't think so. I've always been 'safe'. Hmmm...I think it will be interesting to see how things work out with people. Let me know how it's been going with you & yours.....

One of my friends has been a little strange about it. She made a comment about her husband and me, about how he should have just married me. I do not want any other man but my own & it saddens me to think those thoughts would even enter her mind. I know it is just because of her own insecurities (because I've been there). A weird thing happened at church this Sunday too. My husband, son, and I sat down & I was right beside this guy & his wife (that I do not know). She kept looking past him over at me & giving me the evil eye. Then she started rubbing his back & grabbing his hand, like "this is my man." Whatever?? Made me feel awkward since I was trying to enjoy the service & he started squirming a little like he was uncomfortable too. Then, good Lord, the pastor had us all hold hands & pray for the person to our right & left. I did. I tell you what she took off out of that aisle like a bull when the pastor said amen. How crazy is that? I didn't want her man! My husband was 2 seats away (totally love my cutie pie) & I was at church! Funny thing is- I just prayed for her because I know that feeling that insecurity can eat away at ya & make you think crazy things. Anyone else have crazy things like this starting? Darlene

Wow Dar - that's one insecure woman @ Church. Holy cow! I'm shocked she even let her husband sit next to you to begin with. You're hot stuff though - can you blame her? Her poor husband must have been so embarassed. Poor guy. Did your husband say anything about it? Ruth - You're doing so well. I'm sure your sisters will be happy for you!! One of my best friends has made several smart ass comments to the effect of "before we know it you're going to be smaller then me. I need to get back to the gym full force we can't let that happen". Well my dear friend is now a size LARGER then me. What's funny is I've never considered her "big"!

Hey there Darlene - I think that you should take that as a major compliment! I'm sure it was uncomfortable for you, but you are gorgeus so I'm sure she was intimidated, but she took it way overboard. How did your husband take what happened? Did he know what was going on? I haven't had stuff like that happen, as I don't think I've lost enough weight yet to be threatening to anyone. But, I'm sure that as I lose more and feel more confident in how I look, that strange things like that will happen, but not as extreme! Take care, Heather

That is a really strange experience Dar. As you say, she definitely needs your prayers. How sad that she is so insecure even in church, which is where we should feel the most safe. (Unfortunately this isn't always the case ) Look forward to seeing those pics of clothes, thanks Ruth

Hi Ruth - Thanks for your post. So far I've not lost enough weight that I think it threatens any of my friends. But, I've been predicting that at some point it will. People have always felt that I'm not a threat to any relationship. I've have male friends from work who are married, and there has never been any friction between me and their wives. I also have female friends who never socialize except with their husbands, so its usually them, their husbands and me hanging out (since I'm perpetually single). I just wonder if all of that might change as I lose more weight and start looking better. I also think that some of the anticipated changes might be due to changes in me. I used to buy clothes to hide in, and not want to be seen. Now I buy clothes so that I am seen, and I feel more confident and more comfortable doing so. I'm sure that sends some signals to others that I may not be aware of. Anyway, I hope this helps you know that you are not alone! Heather ere they been comfortable with me being friends with my married male cowor

husband: he LIKES that I am shrinking, WANTS to have sex all the time, but hell, he wanted that before when I was MO. so what does that say about him? hehehe I told him that he needs to verbalize more about his appreciation about my shrinking body, he said that he is not a verbalizing kinda guy. okay, he does do the housework and he has a good job, I should quit complaining right? hehehe and he bike rides 100 miles a week, so he has (voice of sean connery) buns of steel, but come one... one compliment, one "HOLY CRAP YOU LOOK MARVELOUS" a week would be nice!