Of all the RUDE things to say.

Ok I know that this person is generally rude in an innocent way. She just doesn't understand that things she says are rude because nobody corrects her and I am not going to be the one to do so as she is way older than me and so set in her ways. Well I will start with the first thing she said to me pre op. I was at a family function and she came up to me and said "Oh Michele you look so fresh in your white shirt" then she leans in to talk to the others at my table and says "well you know Michele usually dressed in rags when she comes to my house like a pawper." then chuckles!! Everyone was mortified. I don't wear rags but I am a LARGE woman. I wear things that are BIG...I like sweatshirts and jeans and button down shirts. Things of that hide my fat. Anyhow....I delt with that in my own smile and look away while everyone kind of gives me a half hearted grin because they know it was rude and feel embarrassed for HER. So. The other day I was over her house and she asked me how I felt since my surgery to which my responce was great and look my incisions are healed up nicely. She then laughed three times and said "you know...I hate to say this but to me you look BIGGER now then you ever did." I wanted to spit in her eye. I was so pissed off. However...I expected something like this from HER. Anyhow...That was my bull**** for the week. Hugs! Shele

Oh Shele, that is simply awful of her to say that! Can you believe the nerve? I bet it didn't even phase her. That is how things seem to go, the people who spew their venom usually don't even know they are doing it. I am so sorry she did that. At least you know you did something good for yourself & next year this time, you will be one tiny hot mama! PS I had a similar situation 2 weeks post-op. My cousin wanted to see my scar & how well it was healing. I lifted my shirt to show her & you know the only thing she said??? "EWWW, I didn't know you had strethcmarks on your stomach. I had twins & didn't even get stretchmarks, only a couple way low!" Can you believe that? Darlene

Aww Darlene thanks for the support honey. I think things like that really hurt. People have no idea. See yours was your cousin. Mine...my Gram. I think it hurts way worse coming from people we know and love. I have horrible stretch marks too. Oh well that is the price we pay for having extra weight AND children. Thanks so much. Hugs! Shele

what a rude spiteful person. sorry.

That is horrible. I have an aunt who does the exact same thing. I try to avoid her at all costs, but sometimes she can't be ducked. It is especially hard when it is a person iny our family because you can't cut them off completely. I think just knowing that it is NOT you, but an aspect of their personality, their flaw, that makes them say what they say. Hugs to you. -tj

Why don't you respond with something like, "Why would you say something so rude to me? You must realize this has been a difficult struggle for me, and I assumed that the people who love me would give only their support." I don't care if it is your Gramma, you gotta take care of yourself.

Thank you for the advice. I have stood up to her many times before and it has only started trouble w/in my family. I have always been known as the black sheep since I was a child. I don't march to the family drummer and am kind of an outcast that they let in for occasions as pitty on me. LOL I could care less I just want my children to be involved so they KNOW their family. You are right Joe...I do need to take care of myself I guess I have just been raised to respect elders DISPITE what they say or do. I became the black sheep because I spoke my mind no matter what and always got into heat and THOUGH I am an adult now I am still treated like a child. Maybe that is why she says things like that to me because she still thinks of me as the same person I was as a teenager. Hugs! Shele