Poll Revisited: Goal Weight & Eating Demons

Thanks to everyone *****sponded to the individual goal range posts and to those who will in the future. I know that being the diverse group we are, we have folks in all stages of their weight loss journey. Some are halfway there, some are already there and we have folks everywhere in between. I think for the most part we can all agree that the "weight flying off" phase is for the most part behind us and that probably after the first 6 months or so that the weight loss slowed down by a fair bit and for some has even stopped. Honestly, I believe at this point... this is when the harder work comes into play. I'm not saying those early days were easy. I'm sure for some those early day were very rough but in the beginning it was pretty hard not to lose weight. Definitely was excited to see dramatic changes on the scale in short periods of time. But now, we all get to the nitty gritty of it all whether we are already at goal as some are or still working our way there. We have to try not to get depressed by the weight slow down. We have to work harder to stay motivated. We can eat more so that means that fears surface as to whether we are eating too much. We have to fight our inner demons (old eating habits) which for many of us seem to be making small appearances lately. We need to really learn how to channel whatever it is that is pushing us back towards our old eating habits into something better, something beneficial, something constructive. I thought I'd post some questions/"food for thoughts" regarding goal weight and battling those demons... 1. What is your goal weight and where are you at now? 2. When did you set your goal weight? How long ago? 3. What made you pick that goal weight? 4. Have you revised your goal weight along with WLS journey? 5. Have you ever weighed your goal weight? If so, when/at what age? How many times in your life? Did you maintain that weight for a while/how long? 6. Looking at how far you've come already, do you think the goal weight that you set is truly attainable? Think long and hard on this one. Be sure to think about the fact that being obese for years can add weight to your skeletal structure - it needs to be heavier to support the overweight body. Also, be honest with yourself - most likely (with few exceptions) you are carrying extra weight due to excess skin. So, it is possible for us to go back to what we weighed when we were say in our 20s? 7. What are your eating demons? 7a. Are you a grazer? 7b. Are you a snacker? 7c. Are you a skip meal kind of person and then you overdo at the next meal because you are over hungry? 7d. Are you an emotional eater? Do you eat with any change of mood? Happy? Sad? Bored? Lonely? 7e. Are you an all-or-nothing type of person? Perfectionist? Either you are eating 110% on program or you are not? 8. What is your biggest eating demon right now? What is creeping back in? 9. What coping skills have you developed to help you past your eating demons? 10. What do you need help with? What can we help you with?

1. What is your goal weight and where are you at now? Goal: 160 Today: 169.5 2. When did you set your goal weight? How long ago? I set my goal weight before my surgery so more than a year ago. 3. What made you pick that goal weight? 160 would just barely put me just in a normal BMI range. I figured that was a reasonable weight for someone my height and frame. 4. Have you revised your goal weight along with WLS journey? No, but I can honestly say that I'm not unhappy with the weight I'm at right now. 5. Have you ever weighed your goal weight? If so, when/at what age? How many times in your life? Did you maintain that weight for a while/how long? Not as adult. I probably was 160 in 8th grade so I was probably 12/13. I didn't stay at the weight for more than a second or two. 6. Looking at how far you've come already, do you think the goal weight that you set is truly attainable? That is the true question. A good honest question. I think with plastic surgery and perhaps losing 5 lbs of extra skin - yea, it is an attainable weight. Do I think I can get there without plastics. Yes. Do I think I'll look good - I'd like think so. Don't think I'd want to go smaller than that. I do not want to look too thin or emaciated or drawn. 7. What are your eating demons? 7a. Are you a grazer? I have been at times in my life. 7b. Are you a snacker? I've had a bit of that going. I think evenings are the worst for me. I'm alone from the time I get home until 9:30 pm or so when Rich gets home. The time is unstructured and I have time on my hands and that can lead to thoughts of food. 7c. Are you a skip meal kind of person and then you overdo at the next meal because you are over hungry? No. 7d. Are you an emotional eater? Do you eat with any change of mood? Happy? Sad? Bored? Lonely? Sure. 7e. Are you an all-or-nothing type of person? Perfectionist? Either you are eating 110% on program or you are not? This has been a definite issue in my past. You betcha. I think I've done better with it over the years and going through some therapy definitely helped. It wasn't just a "food thing" either. It reflected in my approach to lots of things in my life. It is still with me but to a lesser degree. 8. What is your biggest eating demon right now? What is creeping back in? A bit of the snacking and some of the emotional eating given the recent family events with my sister. Think I let that get to me a bit. 9. What coping skills have you developed to help you past your eating demons? I think just being accountable to the folks on this board has really helped me. I think Becky Sue's post the other day really helped me regroup. Made me want to get up, brush myself off, and move on. And I'm doing just that. 10. What do you need help with? What can we help you with? I just need to keep posting and sharing thoughts, ideas, problems, issues, etc. Kathy

Kathy, This is a much harder time then in the first 6 months...here's my answers. Lori 1. What is your goal weight and where are you at now? 168 is my goal weight, I currently weigh 248.5, 80 lbs to go. 2. When did you set your goal weight? How long ago? I set it in the beginning, back in May 2005. 3. What made you pick that goal weight? Because it puts me at the top of the normal weight range for my height...I really want to be normal! 4. Have you revised your goal weight along with WLS journey? Not yet. 5. Have you ever weighed your goal weight? If so, when/at what age? I weighed it at 19 years old. I had lost down from a high at that time of 220 lbs. How many times in your life? Only once that I remember. Did you maintain that weight for a while/how long? I weighed that for about a year, then started putting weight back on. 6. Looking at how far you've come already, do you think the goal weight that you set is truly attainable? Think long and hard on this one. Be sure to think about the fact that being obese for years can add weight to your skeletal structure - it needs to be heavier to support the overweight body. Also, be honest with yourself - most likely (with few exceptions) you are carrying extra weight due to excess skin. So, it is possible for us to go back to what we weighed when we were say in our 20s? I'm not sure. I do think that if I could get under 200 I could be happy...that is probably attainable even though I'm 45, post menopausal and definitely have excess skin issues. 7. What are your eating demons? When I'm stressed (like I am at work most of the time) I feel like snacking. If I have my healthy snacks handy like my fresh fruits and vegs or cheese sticks, I do okay...but, if there is sugar around, I have a hard time leaving it alone. 7a. Are you a grazer? Yes. 7b. Are you a snacker? Yes. 7c. Are you a skip meal kind of person and then you overdo at the next meal because you are over hungry? Nope. Skipping meals has never been something I do...I tend to have low blood sugar. 7d. Are you an emotional eater? Do you eat with any change of mood? Happy? Sad? Bored? Lonely? Mostly just because of stress. 7e. Are you an all-or-nothing type of person? Perfectionist? Either you are eating 110% on program or you are not? I am, but, I've really tried not to be with this whole WLS thing. I record everything I eat in fitday.com, good or bad. 8. What is your biggest eating demon right now? What is creeping back in? Chocolate. 9. What coping skills have you developed to help you past your eating demons? The only thing I'm doing right now is trying to make sure I have healthy snacks available. 10. What do you need help with? What can we help you with? You guys help me everyday, just by being there! Lori 384/248.5/168

Kathy, Great questions, some I'm not exactly sure of my answers! But here goes... 1. What is your goal weight and where are you at now? - goal weight 130, currently 172 2. When did you set your goal weight? How long ago? - I set my goal before surgery. Based on height/weight charts, like many, I want to be "normal" -- whatever that means! 3. What made you pick that goal weight? - the high end of normal for my height 4. Have you revised your goal weight along with WLS journey? - No, but I've considered it! 5. Have you ever weighed your goal weight? If so, when/at what age? How many times in your life? Did you maintain that weight for a while/how long? - I suppose I had to weigh that for a moment along the way, but I was probably in Jr. High School about 30 years ago! 6. Looking at how far you've come already, do you think the goal weight that you set is truly attainable? Think long and hard on this one. Be sure to think about the fact that being obese for years can add weight to your skeletal structure - it needs to be heavier to support the overweight body. Also, be honest with yourself - most likely (with few exceptions) you are carrying extra weight due to excess skin. So, it is possible for us to go back to what we weighed when we were say in our 20s? - I'm not completely sure that it is realistic for me. I'm trying not to get too terribly hung up on a specific number. I feel so much better, have soooo much more energy and have reduced several health issues. Any more weight that I lose is just a bonus. I plan to continue to lose and if I win the lottery I'd love to have plastic surgery. But if none of that happens, I still feel great! 7. What are your eating demons? - So many!!! 7a. Are you a grazer? -YES 7b. Are you a snacker? -YES 7c. Are you a skip meal kind of person and then you overdo at the next meal because you are over hungry? - Occassionally YES 7d. Are you an emotional eater? Do you eat with any change of mood? Happy? Sad? Bored? Lonely? -YES I think because I used to eat alone a lot, like many of us, when I'm alone now I still want to eat. It's what I've done for years and have trouble finding other things to entertain myself with and get the same satisfaction. I also eat under stress or for any other reason I can come up with some days. 7e. Are you an all-or-nothing type of person? Perfectionist? Either you are eating 110% on program or you are not? -YES I'm a very all or nothing type person. 8. What is your biggest eating demon right now? What is creeping back in? - The desire for sweets. I haven't really eaten anything that's all real sugar, but I consider it more than I used to! Chips have also tempted me a lot! 9. What coping skills have you developed to help you past your eating demons? - Eating healthier foods. At least if I graze or snack, I feel better if I'm putting healthy food into my body. Since my husband has also now had WLS we don't keep the bad food in the house at all any more. 10. What do you need help with? What can we help you with? - Continue the support you guys always give. It's SOOOO nice to read and hear about others who are experiencing the same highs and lows during this journey. You guys are AWESOME! Love ya, Wanda

Whew! I took a look at this post last night and decided I better wait until morning to answer it! It gave me time to mull over some of the questions.... Here goes! 1. What is your goal weight and where are you at now? My "arbitrary" goal is 150 - 12 pounds away! 2. When did you set your goal weight? How long ago? I've just recently come up with that number. Maybe 2 months ago. 3. What made you pick that goal weight? I say it was "arbitrary" because I never really had a goal weight in mind but decided as the weight loss was slowing way down, I needed something more concrete to work towards. Not having an actual goal was making me a little lacksidaisical. 4. Have you revised your goal weight along with WLS journey? Yep - early out, I was thinking 135/140 but my doc told me that was pretty unrealistic given my age, frame, etc. 5. Have you ever weighed your goal weight? If so, when/at what age? How many times in your life? Did you maintain that weight for a while/how long? Let's see. I weighed low 160s when I was about 18, which was about 20 lbs higher than I was throughout HS. Never weighed lower than about 175 since I was 20, I know that much for sure. 6. Looking at how far you've come already, do you think the goal weight that you set is truly attainable? Think long and hard on this one. Be sure to think about the fact that being obese for years can add weight to your skeletal structure - it needs to be heavier to support the overweight body. Also, be honest with yourself - most likely (with few exceptions) you are carrying extra weight due to excess skin. So, it is possible for us to go back to what we weighed when we were say in our 20s? Yes, I do think 150 is attainable. I've discussed it with my surgeon, and she's okay with it. It's a good 15 pounds heavier than the magic "ideal" weight... 12 pounds. I really think it's doable, but it will take a lot more effort than the FIRST 12 pounds, that I know for sure. And you know what, if I don't make it, that's okay. This is more about really doing my best and feeling like wherever I stop, it's where I'm supposed to be. 7. What are your eating demons? Snacking. 7a. Are you a grazer? Not really, sometimes, I guess. Mostly when I'm bored or restless... 7b. Are you a snacker? Kinda... See above. 7c. Are you a skip meal kind of person and then you overdo at the next meal because you are over hungry? Nope, don't do that. 7d. Are you an emotional eater? Do you eat with any change of mood? Happy? Sad? Bored? Lonely? I find my worst times are when my schedule is out of structure and I feel antsy. Weekends, especially. During the work week, I've got a pretty set schedule for when I eat but on the weekends, it's much more relaxed and I'm more prone to eat an extra snack or two. 7e. Are you an all-or-nothing type of person? Perfectionist? Either you are eating 110% on program or you are not? No, I think this is something I battled pre-WLS, sort of a fatalist approach, but I don't do that now. If I eat, say, a cup of Chex Mix, in the afternoon when I know I could have had some carrots or green peppers or a piece of cheese, I don't feel like that gives me license to blow the rest of the day. That, in itself, is a huge step for me. 8. What is your biggest eating demon right now? What is creeping back in? Complacency. It's getting harder, and I knew it would. When I do allow myself a not-so-great snack, or eat a little more carbs than I would have 6 months ago, it's because I tell myself, "Hey, your only 12 pounds away, you've done great, you feel awesome, this one little thing isn't going to hurt you." Well, it's not "hurting me", I haven't gained anything, but I'm not losing and I know with some effort, I could buckle down and get where I want to be. 9. What coping skills have you developed to help you past your eating demons? Forgiveness for myself. Allowing myself to recognize when I'm not eating as well as I should and say, "Yeah, okay, don't do that" but not feeling guilty or horrible about it. Also, I'm much more aware of when I'm eating from boredom, restlessness and much more likely to stop myself before it starts. Before, even if I DID recognize it, I did it anyway... 10. What do you need help with? What can we help you with? You guys do everything I need you to do. Each and every one of you offer something different. Kicks in the butt. Unfailing support. Persistent encouragement. Unconditionally. Just don't leave me!

1. What is your goal weight and where are you at now? Goal is 135 (size 6-8 clothes) and current weight is 182 (where it has been for almost a month now...) 2. When did you set your goal weight? How long ago? I set my goal before surgery 3. What made you pick that goal weight? It normal for my height, 5-2, and my small frame. Plus, my surgeon told me that I probably could not get down to 135, and of course, that makes me even more determined to do it. 4. Have you revised your goal weight along with WLS journey? Yes, I increased it from 130 to 135 5. Have you ever weighed your goal weight? If so, when/at what age? How many times in your life? Did you maintain that weight for a while/how long? Sometime between age 5 and sixth grade. I was 100 pounds at five then, next thing I knew, I was 200 pounds in grade six. Needless to say, weighing 200 pounds in grade and junior high and close to 300 by high school made life quite miserable for me. No wonder I found such pleasure in food cuz life totally sucked. 6. Looking at how far you've come already, do you think the goal weight that you set is truly attainable? Think long and hard on this one. Be sure to think about the fact that being obese for years can add weight to your skeletal structure - it needs to be heavier to support the overweight body. Also, be honest with yourself - most likely (with few exceptions) you are carrying extra weight due to excess skin. So, it is possible for us to go back to what we weighed when we were say in our 20s? I think my weight is attainable - especially after plastics. 7. What are your eating demons? 7a. Are you a grazer? heck yeah. 7b. Are you a snacker? heck yeah. 7c. Are you a skip meal kind of person and then you overdo at the next meal because you are over hungry? I dont skip meal intentionally. 7d. Are you an emotional eater? Do you eat with any change of mood? Happy? Sad? Bored? Lonely? Absolutely. Need professional help with this. 7e. Are you an all-or-nothing type of person? Perfectionist? Either you are eating 110% on program or you are not? I am this way in other areas of my life but not so much with food anymore. 8. What is your biggest eating demon right now? What is creeping back in? salty snacks and grazing. 9. What coping skills have you developed to help you past your eating demons? I began chewing gum to help stifle the urge to munch. Also, I've been drinking lots of water, herbal tea, and green tea to take my mind off of eating. 10. What do you need help with? What can we help you with? I need to stop procrastinating and go ahead and make an appointment with the counselor. You guys can just keep on being your normal sweet selves.

1. What is your goal weight and where are you at now? My goal is 149, and I just got there 2. When did you set your goal weight? How long ago? I set it right after surgery. 3. What made you pick that goal weight? It was the first weight that would give me a normal BMI. As I have progressed, it seems to be where I look and feel the best. 4. Have you revised your goal weight along with WLS journey? No, not at all. 5. Have you ever weighed your goal weight? If so, when/at what age? How many times in your life? Did you maintain that weight for a while/how long? Never ever have I been there before, unless you count the first 5 years of my life. 6. Looking at how far you've come already, do you think the goal weight that you set is truly attainable? Think long and hard on this one. Be sure to think about the fact that being obese for years can add weight to your skeletal structure - it needs to be heavier to support the overweight body. Also, be honest with yourself - most likely (with few exceptions) you are carrying extra weight due to excess skin. So, it is possible for us to go back to what we weighed when we were say in our 20s? I think so. I expect to probably lose about 10 pounds after I complete my plastic surgery. It's going to take a long time to get up enough money to pay for that, so that will just give me extra time to make my new eating habits a part of my life. 7. What are your eating demons? I still like junk. The stuff that tastes good but has no nutritional value. But I try very hard to stay away from it. 7a. Are you a grazer? At times, but I avoid this by packing my lunch and always having things that are healthy with me. So if I do graze, it isn't a totally bad thing. 7b. Are you a snacker? See above. Except that I plan to eat this way. I do much better eating nutritious snacks frequently rather than eating meals that are spaced out. I tend to get too hungry if I wait too long to eat unless I am extremely busy, so healthy protein rich snacks help to keep me on target. 7c. Are you a skip meal kind of person and then you overdo at the next meal because you are over hungry? If I skip a meal/snack, I do tend to get too hungry and eat the wrong things. 7d. Are you an emotional eater? Do you eat with any change of mood? Happy? Sad? Bored? Lonely? At times, but the scheduled healthy snacks help to stave this off also. 7e. Are you an all-or-nothing type of person? Perfectionist? Either you are eating 110% on program or you are not? No, not at all. I believe this change has to be for life. And I don't believe that you can eat perfectly 100% of the time and be happy, so if I want a small bite of chocolate or a french fry, I eat it. The difference is that now, I don't need to eat a big bunch of anything to feel satisfied. 8. What is your biggest eating demon right now? What is creeping back in? Diet soda is trying to sneak back into my life. But truly I do believe that having a little every now and then will not hurt. So I do from time to time. As I said this has to be a change for life and I don't intend to spend my whole life feeling deprived. That said, I don't drink it every day, but do have about 4 ounces from time to time. 9. What coping skills have you developed to help you past your eating demons? Drinking my water consistently, getting enough protein consistently, keeping my house (purse, lunch box etc) stocked with things that are healthy for me to eat and just remembering how horrible I felt as that big fat girl help me stay focused. 10. What do you need help with? What can we help you with? Sometimes I just need to talk to someone who is going through the same things I am going through. Anytime I post here, you specifically Kathy, always respond and I appreciate it more than you know. Others respond as well and everyone is always so caring and supportive and those are the things that are important to me. Nonjudgemental is always a word that comes to mind as well. I have noticed that many of us from May are at very different places in our journeys and no matter where someone is on that journey, there seems to be no pettiness or jealousy-- just support and caring. I think that is the coolest! Sonja

1. What is your goal weight and where are you at now? My goal weight was 190, I am actually 188 as of this morning. 2. When did you set your goal weight? How long ago? I set this goal weight before surgery, my surgery was May 11. 3. What made you pick that goal weight? I am 5' 11", so I thought that would be a nice weight for my bone structure. 4. Have you revised your goal weight along with WLS journey? At first, I thought I might go for 174 to give me a normal BMI, but after reaching a size 12, I knew that was as far as I should go or I would look too skinny. 5. Have you ever weighed your goal weight? If so, when/at what age? How many times in your life? Did you maintain that weight for a while/how long? I honestly don't remember weighing that in many many years. Even when I met my second and now hubby, I thought I looked great and I weight about 213, so 188 is great!! 6. Looking at how far you've come already, do you think the goal weight that you set is truly attainable? Think long and hard on this one. Be sure to think about the fact that being obese for years can add weight to your skeletal structure - it needs to be heavier to support the overweight body. Also, be honest with yourself - most likely (with few exceptions) you are carrying extra weight due to excess skin. So, it is possible for us to go back to what we weighed when we were say in our 20s? Guess is it attainable...duh!! 7. What are your eating demons? 7a. Are you a grazer? At times, but mostly not. 7b. Are you a snacker? Not really, too tired to snack!! 7c. Are you a skip meal kind of person and then you overdo at the next meal because you are over hungry? I rarely overdo at any meal because I don't want to suffer the consequences. 7d. Are you an emotional eater? Do you eat with any change of mood? Happy? Sad? Bored? Lonely? I did eat that pack of graham crackers the other day basically out of stress and tiredness. 7e. Are you an all-or-nothing type of person? Perfectionist? Either you are eating 110% on program or you are not? I am no perfectionist. 8. What is your biggest eating demon right now? What is creeping back in? Sometimes I take sips of Cherry Pepsi at work out of the fountain....bad bad habit. 9. What coping skills have you developed to help you past your eating demons? Try and keep busy busy busy. 10. What do you need help with? What can we help you with? I just need to find some free time to exercise. Either I am home with Jacob doing the housework that has been neglected or spending 9 or 10 hours in the evening at work.

1. What is your goal weight and where are you at now? Goal: 175 Today: 245 2. When did you set your goal weight? How long ago? Just recently 3. What made you pick that goal weight? Just think it may be attainable for me? I hope 4. Have you revised your goal weight along with WLS journey? yes 5. Have you ever weighed your goal weight? If so, when/at what age? How many times in your life? Did you maintain that weight for a while/how long? Not that I know of... I never weighed myself as a child or teen.. no scale in our house! I have been overweight since I was 8. 6. Looking at how far you've come already, do you think the goal weight that you set is truly attainable? I think and hope so! Especially after a Tummy Tuck. Do I think I can get there without plastics. Yes.. with alot of hard work! 7. What are your eating demons? 7a. Are you a grazer? YES 7b. Are you a snacker? YES nightime and weekends are the worst for me! 7c. Are you a skip meal kind of person and then you overdo at the next meal because you are over hungry? No. 7d. Are you an emotional eater? Do you eat with any change of mood? Happy? Sad? Bored? Lonely? Sure. 7e. Are you an all-or-nothing type of person? Perfectionist? Either you are eating 110% on program or you are not? No.. I have never been perfect at dieting! 8. What is your biggest eating demon right now? What is creeping back in? Binging in front of the fridge... eating tooooo fast 9. What coping skills have you developed to help you past your eating demons? This board and my support groups 2 per month...I need to get better at talking to myselfy.. well actually listening!!! 10. What do you need help with? What can we help you with? I just need to keep posting and sharing thoughts, ideas, problems, issues, etc. Many Hugs! Marla

Hi Kathy!!! and hello to all the wonderful Maysters. I know I've been MIA but I've missed you all. Life has been hectic since hubby took the new job and we've been living apart. Weekends are full of him traveling here or me and the kids going up there. I can't wait till June 2nd and we'll be totally relocated!!! I've missed you all and hope all is going well in your lives and with your health. Here are my answers: 1. Goal: Surgeon said as long as my BMI was btwn 20-25 he was happy. I set my 'personal' goal at 130 but now I'm exactly there and I don't think I can get any skinnier without looking like I'm ill! So I'm claiming my goal!! 2. When did I set my goal? Well, I just reset it, so there! 3. What made you pick that goal weight? See #1 answer 4. Have you revised your goal weight along with WLS journey? yep 5. Have you ever weighed your goal weight? I don't recall ever being this thin...ever!!!! 6. Looking at how far you've come already, do you think the goal weight that you set is truly attainable? Two friends are 3 years post op and both have kept almost all their weight off, so I'm going to be positive and say, YES I can maintain as long as I keep moving and stay away from fast food (have not touched a burger!!!). 7. What are your eating demons? Pre-op - fast food. Now: sugar b/c it does nothing to be but give me empty calories. 7a. Are you a grazer? Not too bad. 7b. Are you a snacker? I do love to snack so I reward myself with treats but balance it out with fresh fruit. 7c. Are you a skip meal kind of person and then you overdo at the next meal because you are over hungry? I'm terrible about breakfast but I don't over do it the next meal. I try to make it up later with a shake or extra snack at night. 7d. Are you an emotional eater? nope. I was just an 'eater.' 7e. Are you an all-or-nothing type of person? I'm generally a perfectionist but I'm learning to balance the "not so good for me foods" and I think I'm doing well. 8. Biggest demon: chocolate!!!! I love, love, love it more now than before. When I do eat some my mindset is to just enjoy it and savor it whereas before it was eat as much as you can because it's good. 9. What coping skills have you developed to help you past your eating demons? I ask myself if I'm satisfied or full? Do I really need that extra bite and sometimes I don't so I just spit it out, throw the plate away and walk far away. It's really helped. I don't feel like I have to finish off my kids' plates either. 10. What do you need help with? What can we help you with? Just reading about honesty, the same problems, staying motivated and giving positive feedback is enough for me. This board is wonderful!! I'll try to read more often and not be such a stranger. You girls and a few guys keep up the great work!!! Ana 221/130/130