Help needed for neighbor.. Six x Clothes

There is a lady in my neighborhood. She is just my age and has the awesome responsibility of taking care of her mentally challenged adult brother. In the past year Patty has put on a large amt of weight and weighs close to 500 pounds. Our lovely Ohio Government has cut the funding for her housekeeping, grocery shopping and someone to do her laundry. She is homebound and can no longer do any of these tasks for herself. I did their laundry the other night and ended up in tears. Their clothes were beyond tattered and torn. I have put a message up on my Gastric bypass clothes exchange for clothing in size womens 6x for her and size 56 pants for her brothers. I am looking for donors to help with purchasing some socks, undershirts, and underwear for the both of them. They are also in need of gently used bath, dish, and wash clothes. If you know of anyone who is planning on giving away or throwing away any of these items please let me know. I feel so badly for these two and want to help any way I can. Also.. How do you feel about me talking to her about considering the gastric bypass surgery. I just feel that my dear friend wont be around much longer if something drastic is not done. Her quality of life is slipping away from her and I want to help. She is homebound and has nothing to read except the old magazines I give her. If there is anything you consider junk and planning on getting rid of please let me know. I will tell you if they need it. Thank you so much, Laura SPONSORED LINKS Keith urban Softball coach Romance relationship Divorce Girl scouts Full time

Laura, I gave away all my clothes, except I have about 10 bras that I need to give away. They are size 50H. They are in very good shape. Could she use those? If so, email me and I will get them out to her. As far as the gastric bypass discussion goes, you may just want to share your experience with her and see how she responds. I remember before I did the surgery or wanted to, I really didn't like people talking to me about it. Good luck! Lori 384/252.5/168

Lorraine, Here's an article I read in an online blog about WLS and when should we tell someone we had surgery and if we should encourage them. It is long, but worth it!: When should we share our bariatric story? Sharing our bariatric stories is as personal decision as electing to have the surgery itself. Some of us are very private and others of us are very open. Overall I think we do the best we can on any given day. There are times when the moment is right to share and times when it is best to keep quiet. Here are a few things this bariatric zealot has learned the last several years: It is well known that when a person affects a tremendous change in their life they often experience a great spirit of sharing and a desire to convert others to the new belief system. This is an altruistic desire to bestow upon others their wonderful new life. Think of converts to religious beliefs or former addicts graduating from recovery programs; often these people reach out enthusiastically to others who are as they once were. The recovering alcoholic is a champion of reform to the drunken and depressed. The born again believer is a champion to the sinners and downtrodden. So it is with the bariatric zealot, a champion to the fat and hopeless. The desire to share our stories - to make converts to the bariatric persuasion - is sincere and well intentioned. But just like the recovered addict or the new believer, we must tread lightly when it comes to proselytizing this new wonderful way of life. First, we cannot assume that every obese person we meet is in a place where they wish to hear about our weight loss success. Second, it is quite easy to hurt someone's feelings by suggesting weight loss surgery - it implies inferiority, even coming from a formerly obese person. Think back to when you were overweight and hopeless. Didn't you sometime feel betrayed by a former fatty gone thin? Chubby folks stick together and when one betrays the band to join the tiny tummy league the others can feel exposed and vulnerable. They can feel like failures because one of their members has succeeded where they have given up hope. On the other hand, a bariatric patient is an inspiration for the heavyweight hopeless among us, a living breathing shrinking miracle overcoming the obstacle of obesity right before our very eyes. It is my experience that this metamorphosis is the greatest inspiration of all. Let the physical manifestation do your talking for you and tread lightly on tender feelings. We all share a great empathy for the obese and should never forget where we came from, even after the giant clothes have long been tossed on the garbage heap. My simple rule is to never give advice unless I'm asked for it. I often think back to how I felt before my weight loss when well intentioned people offered "constructive criticism" to "help" me with my "problem." I hated it when well meaning friends or doctors told me to lose weight, to get fit, eat less, exercise more. I felt ashamed when people belittled the illness of obesity saying, "just stop eating so much." I didn't initiate conversation about my illness with anyone, but certainly more times than I care to count I endured the constructive criticism of others who were superior to the Little Fat Girl. I became a closet eater because I couldn't cope with the unsolicited, "constructive criticism" of strangers in the mall's food court telling the fat lady what she shouldn't be eating. By calling it constructive criticism it becomes socially acceptable to be superior to another person. When constructive criticism is offered the implication is that the person to whom the criticism is directed is in error and the person providing helpful advice is wiser and above that error. Criticism is rarely constructive. Obese people are painfully aware they are obese. They know why they are obese and they know the efforts they have exhausted trying to overcome obesity. As zealous as we may feel we never have the right to constructively criticize or give unsolicited advice to another person. But when asked about the wonderful transformation weight loss surgery has affected, the opportunity is ours to empathetically inspire others with hope. Love the heavy woman on the plane. Commiserate. Obesity is a lonely place to be. Sharing an intimate understanding of that loneliness will go far to ease another's pain. And perhaps, in their own time, they will have the good fortune to experience living after weight loss surgery. Lori