Slipping? (long-winded!)

Ok, so the further away we get from surgery, the harder we have to work to use the tools this surgery gave us, right? In fact, I've heard one WLS post op say that at surgery, weight loss is 100% surgery, 6 months out, it's 60% surgery and 40% us, and 1 year out, it's 100% us. Being close to 9 months out, I'm really feeling this. I know that I have been wildly successful, but these last 40/50 pounds I want to lose are coming off so slowly and require increasing amounts of effort to make them happen. Part of this, I think, is that, like all weight loss "programs", once you get soo used to it, it is easy to forget the basic rules that account for the success of the program. For example, when I was a Weigh****cher (I still am a weigh****cher!), I knew points forwards and backwards--but would get careless on little things that started adding up--upping portions, "forgetting" to count dressings or a bite of someone's plate. When I first became a post-op, I journalled every stinking bite I ate. Up until this week, I haven't journalled in MONTHS. I would never eat carbs, but now it seems like every meal I have "just a little" rice or "just a few" low fat crackers or "just" a FF tortilla. I mean, these are all much better choices then before, but not the "right" choices, you know? I also haven't been counting protein--I know I'm getting a lot (I had 10g for breakfast and 33g for lunch today), but am I getting the 80-100g per day my Dr suggests? And drinking before/after meals. I'm terrible about waiting to do this. Exercise--actually, I rock at exercising. I went from zero to almost every day now, and that isn't including the 1.5 mile walk to work, or the .5 mile walks to run errands, etc. that I would NEVER have done before. The only problem with exercise is that, for me, all this walking was new in the beginning, but now it seems like it's just a given, and I have to do even MORE exercising to keep losing weight. I know that makes sense logically, but emotionally, I am still looking for my gold star every day that I choose to walk to work. Does that make sense? Like, look, I'm STILL doing it--doesn't that count for something, body? Vitamins--I actually am pretty good about all my vitamins except my calcium. I have to take calcium during the day (my Dr. says calcium conflicts with my multis, which I take one in morning, one at night), and I forget to do that a lot. But, everytime I go out to buy more vitamins, I'm always forgetting how much of each thing I need. Last month, I was taking 1000mcg (mg?) of B12 a day, this month I'm taking 500 mg? a day--just what "looked" right when I bought the bottle. I'm going to talk to my doctor this month about getting another copy of his "rules" for the pouch and vitamins. I'm trying not to make these recent observations of myself into a "I hate myself, I suck" session, and instead I'm trying to learn from them. I've lost 76% of my excess weight-- 124 pounds of my 163 pound loss goal, in less than 9 months! I am really really happy with how much better I feel, how much more normal I feel, and how much more (energy and activity wise) I am able to do. I just feel like this happy train is slowly coming to a halt and I'm not ready to get off it! Maybe this is something that "heavyweights" can relate to, but even after losing all this weight, I am still in plus size clothes (hovering between 1x and xl, 16 and 18)! And, can one-derland PLEASE happen someday soon? Please? With Splenda on top??? People keep talking about how "skinny" and "thin" I am, but I'm like, hello?!? I'm still in the "obese" category--hold off on the extreme compliments, ok? Anyway, this dark little thought cloud has been following me around for the past several days, and I figured it would make me feel better to post it. I guess it's just really hard to accept that, just like every other thing I've tried, I'm not going to be "perfect" at this lifestyle change either. I'm just going to have to take it a day at a time. Thanks for listening, Maysters. Jem 327/203/164

Can I get an AMEN!!! I totally feel how you do. *I know people say I look good... I look "skinny", but I am STILL obese and i STILL have 50+ lbs to lose. *I work my a$$ off at the gym 2hrs a day at least 5 times a week doing weight training AND cardio. Think the scale has moved in the past month... NOT REALLY! You would think that I am working so much harder at losing weight now that it would come off more easily. NOPE! It is harder than ever... and I am beginning to get more hungry than ever. I am eating about 1200cal a day now to keep me energized. *I am a size 16... which is still "plus size" to me also. Will it every change? I dont know... This is the tough part. The first 6 months were a piece of cake to lose weight.. I guess this is the real test now. It is all up to us. WLS jump started our journey and now it is up to us to fini**** That is the way I look at it. Keep your head up... ALL of us feel the same way.

Melissa: I'm glad (yet sorry) you feel the same way...and I didn't even mention the hunger part--especially the last week, I've felt hungry every second of the day. Right now, I'm mainlining water to help keep me "full" and I know that some of the "hunger" is a panicky psychological issue, but some of it really is from the additional energy I expend every day being more active and working out. You *are* looking great, by the way! Let's put our (water) glasses in the air to continued success! Jem

Ugh- I soooo feel you. I am so relieved to see that others are going through the same thing. I've really been struggling.

I just had to stick my head in here. I'm going through the EXACT same thing. I mean, almost verbatim! The scale has stopped, and I still have another 40+ pounds to go. I'm in a 16, and I'm not seeing any movement. Don't get me wrong, I've lost 117#, and I feel better than I have in my entire life! I get my protein, I take my vitamins, I drink my water. I stopped journaling, too, but I went from avoiding all physical activity to making exercise a part of my day... from 1 minute of cardio to 55 minutes of cardio. (Can I get a sugar-free protein cookie for that, please? ) I'm VERY proud of myself. I'm just not ready for the weight loss to stop, and it feels like it is. Anyway. Sadly, I don't have a stitch of advice... just know that I'm right there with you. Tiffany S 328/211/???

Thank God Im not the only one out there! I have lost 102 pounds and now Im having to work my you know what off just to get the scale to move a smidgen. I get on it thinking okay this week was well worth 2 or 3 pounds, YEAH RIGHT! Maybe a half a pound. There are days when I just want to say @uck it and just eat and then I have to stop and think about things. I can think of a couple of times where I did return to my old eating habits and felt just plain awful, physically and emotionally. I get worried a lot that I wont be able to keep the weight off when and if I get to goal. You know what? I do so good during the day but when I get home at night thats when I want to screw up, so thats why Im here. When I have my hands and mind occupied it seems to occupy my pouch if you will, but Im here to tell you sometimes even that doesnt work. Hang in there girl, dont give up. Candy 263.5/161.5/150(I hope)

The Joy of our Maysters...We are in just about the same boat at the same time. I just had a low carb Slimfast hoping to ward off that waking up around 3 am thinking I am hungry and having a handful of wheat thins while I let the dog out. I have only done this twice (both this week) and know what a bad habit it is!!!! I have started back to journaling at leat 2 days a week to see how my protein is doing. We just have to keep at it!!!

Can I tell you all how much I appreciate your HONESTY?!!! I am hoping to do the lap. RNY, but will probably have to be a self-pay (groan). I had just been hoping I could "talk" to some 6-12 month post op folks that could give me the "long range" picture. And there you were...all of you!!! What I really appreciate about the members of obesityhelp.com is that you are so real...no sugar-coating (no pun intended!). I really appreciate that you are willing to have a grey cloudy day and let it show. Okay, so I should expect my weight loss to slow down after my surgery, is that what you are saying? Well hang in there! I'll look forward to hearing in a few weeks that the pounds are dropping off like melted butter again.

Yes indeed. The weight will come off relatively fast (faster for some than others) in the beginning and gradually it tapers off or you can have a stall or plateau (semantics - stall would be a shorter plateau). When no weight loss happens in a day, two, or 7 or two weeks...you'll question what you are doing and if you are doing anything wrong. Bottom line is that your body goes through rapid changes and it needs a break. If you are getting in your protein requirement (doctor determined), good amounts of fluids, your vitamins, eating regularly and not grazing all day long...then there really isn't anything to change. Waiting is hard on your psyche. Especially when others are still flying past you. Advice - don't be a slave to the scale. The less often you weight yourself, the better. Put in the trunk of your car, your husband's car, your garage. Bring it out once a week or better yet once a month. The scale has the ability to drive certain people insane. Take pictures pre-op and monthly. Same clothing perhaps. Same pose. Front and side. Seeing them side by side will allow you to see difference that you may not be able to see in the mirror yet. Measure, measure, measure! Do it pre-op and then monthly. Often when the scale isn't moving...the tape measure is! Don't ask for protein supplement recommendations. This is a trial and error thing. What I love, you might hate. Your tastes do change after surgery so what you try now, you may not be able to stomach later. Buy samples from vitalady.com or bariatriceating.com before you spend $20-30 on a big jug. Be creative with protein. For example, we have Nectar Fuzzy Navel (orange peach). I don't like it mixed with water. A bit weak. I do however LOVE IT mixed with Crystal Light Orange Sunrise. We have IDS Cinnamon Vanilla. I don't like it straight. We love it mixed with leftover chilled decaf coffee. Tastes like an iced latte to me - a splash of half and half and a pkg of sweet and low. Very nice. Experiment! Think of yourself as a human science project. You won't know what your body will tolerate and when. You might be able to tolerate chicken early out or you may not. Some can, some cannot. I am lucky in that I have trouble with very litte. Somes scallops or a steak can be too chewy for me and I can tell it isn't going to go down right. (Spit it out!) Other than that...I tolerate dairy (didn't immediately post op except for cheese), meats and fats. This is all trial and error! If you think something is wrong with you....call your surgeon. That's what they are there for. I've seen people on the board throwing up blood asking for advice on the board. Huh? Get to the ER. This isn't a common thing but use your doctor. Use your nutritionist if you aren't sure what to be eating. You paid them. Be aware that different doctors and different nutritionists will give very different advice when it comes to what foods to eat when and even what vitamins to take. It is hard to figure out what is right. I was lucky that my husband had surgery 9 months prior to me so I learned alot there. I joined a few website and yahoogroups and I read things and try to sort out what is good information from disinformation. Be proactive in your own care. I get copies of all my labwork and put it in a spreadsheet. While I don't know much about what things are... I look at trends. Is my protein level dropping each time I get lab work done. Well, if it is...I should be upping my intake. Things like that even folks like us can figure out. Gotta hit the gym! Take care, Kathy

Thanks everyone ofr your openess and honesty. I am also right there with you. I am happy with my weightloss (115 pounds), but it is becoming extremely difficult and slow. But for me, it's not even the physical aspect of he weight loss that I am struggling with at this point. It is the mental and emotional. I have been struggling a lot lately with having a significant urge to graze when I am not hungry. I mean, we're not just talking about something minor here, I get a "VERY" strong impulse to munch. I get agitated, restless, and downright troubled until I grab a couple of crackers or something. It's like a drug addict needing a fix - it consumes me and it's all I can think about. Some of the time, I am able to fight off the urge without eating, but it is so dang hard and it is something that I don't even think I should have to deal with in the first place. To be clear, this is NOT physical hunger; it is all in my head. I am a compulsive eater. In the early months after surgery, it was not a problem because eating was often the fartherest thing from my mind, but now at almost nine months out, it's back in full force. I know I have to seek professional help to get this under control. I cannot imagine what life will be like at 18 months, 2 years and on.