T-giving issue

Hey all, I was just reading Kathy's post about T-giving and any food issues that we'd like to discuss. Well, I really need input/support so I'm putting it in a separate post all together. In a nutshell, I'm scared to death of T-giving this year. There are several reasons why, I suppose. My husband got back into the Navy about 6 years ago, but before that, T-giving was always a HUGE family event for us. My family has always been about big food get-togethers, so Thanksgiving was like the epitome of our family. There would be around 15 or so of us and there would easily be enough food for 50 people (no, I'm not exaggerating, each family would take home enough left overs for 2 large meals). There would be at least 2 turkeys cooked (one roasted, one smoked), a ham, potatoes, dumplings, 6-8 pies, corn, beans, yadayadayada. Well, after hubby got back into the Navy, I would always have all the single guys from his work over (there'd always be at least 8 additional to our family but usually more) and I would cook enough for an entire army - single-handedly. I absolutely loved it. I would make the same, a huge turkey, ham, biscuits, gravy, dumplings, corn, beans, stuffing, the works - enough for all of the single sailors to take enough home for a couple of days. Most of the time at least a couple of them got to take home an entire pie themselves, too. (I'd make everything from scratch even down to boiling my own pumpkin.) Well, this year, hubby only works with 2 people, both of whom are married, and one of them invited us over. I thought I was okay with it, but all she asked me to bring is a couple of trays of deviled eggs. I know it's strange, but I just feel so strange about this. It feels completely out of my comfort zone to go to someone's house for Thanksgiving that isn't family, for one, and for two, not cooking any part of the meal. I only know one person who will be there and that's the guy that my husband works with. I understand there will be like 15 people there. I'm not sure what the issue is, maybe it's the "I don't get to play the mother role to all these sailors" that I enjoy so much, maybe it's the "I'm not going to be the center of attention", I don't know. I just know that it feels really odd and I can tell it's affecting me already. The head hunger has been in full force the last few days and I've been doing quite a bit of later evening eating. Anyway, I just wanted to put this out there, be accountable, and get support. I love you guys! Michelle

Michelle, I hope you can start to look at this as a wonderful opportunity not to have to be the hostess. You are now going to have the priviledge of enjoying the food and the other guests, instead of running around making sure everything is okay. Shower your host with praises, feel happy for her, but, also feel so fortunate. You get to truly enjoy the day!!! Woohoo! Life is all how we look at it. Right? Lori 384/274/170

Michelle, I suspect the problem could also be one of control. When you were the hostess (with the mostest), you could control what was made and what was around. You were probably very, very busy getting everything ready and then packing stuff up for the guys to take home and I'm sure that meant that you didn't take that much time to do alot of eating yourself - not like the others. And now, you are a guest and unsure of the menu and you'll have lots of social time with food flat in front of you. The situation is definitely going to be different for you. I can see that it is and can be stressful for you. I think it is great that you were tasked with making deviled eggs. They are definitely a great source of protein and very, very WLS friendly. It is nice that you already know one thing that you can eat when you get there. Rich and I are going to holiday party in a few weeks and I'm trying to figure out what to bring that I can eat that gives me my own comfort zone. There will be munchies and such but I thinking about definitely making a pumpkin pie made with splenda so that Rich and I can have some dessert. It'll make us feel more "included". I'm glad you raised this issue. I'm sure that between all the holiday festivities many will have issues. Have tough, Michelle! You'll do fine! Kathy

Hey Michelle, The best I can say is turn the situation around and make it work for you. Just think how would you do with all of the leftover food in your own home. I think being out of your "comfort zone" alone will make you more accountable. I agree with Kathy as far as the control issue, and I think that is so sweet what you used to do for the sailors...almost sounds like empty nest syndrome.I hope you get through this, and I'm looking forward to seeing how things went for you. Aliya

Michelle, You have already gotten great advice. It is difficult to give up our old traditions, and I can really relate to yours. But with our new lives we really have a great opportunity to create new traditions. And you are so lucky to not have to cook much this week. How about you and your family creating a non food tradition for this traditionally food related holiday. Enjoy your holiday, Julie

I think Julie made an excellent suggestion about creating a non-food tradition. Anyway, try to get in some R & R especially since you don't have to do so much cooking. Hugs, Tracy