Who is in the mirror?

Hi all, Yes I have been MIA for a while. Had some head issues to clear up. Went through about 2 to 3 weeks where I didn't want to be a WLS patient anymore. I just want to be normal and not throw up or struggle to eat anymore. Well, to make a long story short, I got a wake up call today. In my head I am still 385 pounds. I know I am losing weight but I don't see it. Well today I was at a friends house and walked by a mirror that they just recently put in and I did a double take. Who is that in the mirror? Actually turned around to see if someone was behind me. Then, I just kinda stood there dumbfounded. Yes, I have mirrors here at home but out of habit, I avoid them. So tonight after everyone went to bed I actually had a face to face heart to heart with the mirror. Here is my conclusion. Either someone is playing tricks with my eyes or I have curves in the right places, My hips are not huge anymore. My face has changed so much. It was a big wake up call for me. I know there will still be times that I feel like that 385 pound person but today I am 274 pounds and getting smaller all the time. Medically, I am still about the same. (The reason why I didn't want to do this anymore) The ulcer is not healing very fast. I am struggling still to get down 500 calories a day. Not making my protien or liquid quota either. I am getting closer on the fluids though. It is hard to maintain a positive attidude when it hurts all the time. Pain has a way of wearing you down. The doc says that if the ulcer has not shown great improvement by my 6 month appt, that we need to talk about a revision. So this is the Kat that is trying to suck it up and go on. Now someone slap me out of this funk, so I can get back to me. Thanks for letting me ramble. (Can you tell it is 1:15 in the morning?) Kat

Kat, You have done so well, and I know you will continue to do so! Isn't it great when the mirror is our friend again? I'm so sorry that you're in pain, but please know that you did this for a reason and it's well worth it! I will keep you in my prayers and I know you can do it! Hang in there and have a terrific day! You're doing GREAT! Wanda

Thanks Wanda. Not sure I would say the mirror is my friend yet but atleast we are on speaking terms again. LOL. Have a good day, Kat

Here's a smack for ya!!!! I KNOW how hard it can be when things don't go "right" after surgery Kat. I KNOW how depressing it is to be in pain every day. I KNOW how it feels to want to just eat "normally" again. There's nothing I can do to "fix" your situation, but I can just be here to let you vent it out!! And to cheer you on day by day. Trust me, I have LOTS of days I just wish I could be my old self again, because it was so much easier. Yesterday I told my husband I sooooo wanted a Wendy's burger, fries, and a frosty. I always at a frosty when I had a sore throat. But when the day is done, and I know that I did what was best for me. It's a huge adjustment - YES!!! But even as sick as I've been, I'm so much healthier then I ever was before. Make a list of all the positive things that have come out of your wls. Post it all over your house. You have done a wonderful job!!! You're lookin' so good, you don't even recognize yourself. I know it's hard to keep a positive attitude (really, I KNOW), but that why this board is so awesome!!!! Keep you chin up girlfriend!!!! Laurie

Laurie, Thanks for the smack. Sometimes we all need one. I am glad to know that I am not the only one that misses being me sometimes. Have an awesome Wednesday, Kat

Ditto what Wanda and Laurie said. I'm so proud of you for continuing to work hard even though it's such hard work. I'm sorry you're hurting so much - I wish that dang ulcer would heal up and be gone! Just know we are here for you, whether you want to be a WLS patient or not, we love you! Becky

Thanks Becky, At this point in the game I don't have much of a choice in the matter. I went into this knowing the risks and the possible side effects so I was forwarned. Right now working on one meal at a time and getting through each day. Have a good day and stay warm. Hugs, Kat

Kat, go back a couple of months and look at the original post where you first told us about your ulcer. Your strength and positive attitude was so inspiring! Re-read and inspire yourself. I'm not gonna slap ya, but here is a big fat kiss... Hugs Aliya