can i vent....again?

I just returned from one of our monthly support meetings. There was a lady there, some expert in coping with stress. Anyway, after she was finished she asked if there was any questions about anything. This girl raised her hand and talked about how she is 5 months out (just like me) and said she notices she is hungry alot more. Okay, so I pop up and say, well, I am too and alot of my May buddies online are experiencing the same thing. Well...u could have heard a pin drop in this room? The lady wanted to know was this "head hunger" or "real hunger"...wth??? I told her I believed it was real hunger. She wanted to know how I knew that. wth?? I said, well, I feel empty. She said does your stomach growl??? I said no. My stomach never growled, even before surgery. So anyway, I kinda start feeling attacked? "How much protein are you getting"..."how many calories are you getting???"...I was like, well, I really don't know. Well! YOu need to know! wth?? She said, "how much have you lost?"..I said 90 pounds. Now, mind you..all night, whenever she asked anyone that question, and they would answer...everyone clapped. But when I was asked..and answered...not one single dang clap??? What is 90 pounds, chicken feed???? So, anyway, I kinda felt like I should have kept my mouth shut. All I know is this. I am losing weight at a pace that is okay with me. I feel like a hundred bucks. I have more energy now than I have ever had. So all those non-supportive people at that so-called "support group"..can kiss my now much smaller flat ass!!!! Thanks guys. I'm done!!

Good for you Lisa! It sounds like your speaker was clearly insensitive to the issue you and the other woman 5 months out at your meeting mentioned. I have been in similar situations, when a "professional" makes participants feel demeaned. YOU are doing just great! Along with you, I have so much more energy than ever before and I feel just great! Here are all of the claps you deserve for your tremendous loss so far! Hang in there and keep standing up for yourself! Hugs, ~Wanda

You've done real well, Lisa, keep up the good work! I stopped going to my surgeon's support group because the girls that run it want to talk about themselves all the time or what it's like to live 2 or more years past surgery. What a shame- Becky Jean

Vent away, Sweety... Sounds like that lady needed a good ka-chunking upside the head...

HEHEH...should have asked if she was an expert or just thought she was... WHAT'EVAAAAAAAAA WE will support you : ) GO GO GO!!!!!!!!!!

See Lisa, Ms. "Expert" needs to be thanking her lucky stars that your "soul sister' wasn't there, becuase boy would she have gotten a piece of my mind! I personally don't like my support group leaders tactics so I only go once in a blue. How rude that you weren't applauded! My feelings probably would have crushed, as if we're not all in this together...I mean why is it called a support group???? Well If I was there I would have my hands off for you! You are doing fabulous!

Hi Lisa, Sorry the lady was so {professional} she forgot her manners. By the groups silence and lack of applause my guess is that they might have been a little intimidated by the speakers authority and failed to engage their brains to the astounding fact that you lost a WHOPPING 90 lbs. !!! After all they are YOUR support group. I have noticed that sometimes if someone asks a question about a struggle they "SHOULD'NT BE HAVING" ( supposedly) the group can get silent because nobody wants to also admit their struggle because the unspoken standard (of perfection) is in the air and makes people feel shame if they are struggling.....so they HIDE their truth and the environment becomes TOXIC. Where there is freedom to BE who you are , WHERE you are, there is liberty and encouragement and love which nurtures positive growth and hope. Funny that an expert in stress was the instigator of major stress and group humiliation. Sometimes the people who are supposed to know so much seem way removed from their hearts and therefore unable to connect with ours. Sad that you experienced this. This is a tremedous journey we are on. We are undertaking and experiencing major life changes. Many are very pleasant and encouraging like the weight loss and smaller sizes and family and friends compliments, physical ease and increased health and endurance. However, along this journey there are alot of questions and fears and identity adjustments. Like am I still ME after I lose this weight? So WHO was I then? Do I feel safe without my walls of fat and insulation? Is it OK to take time to feel at home in my "new skin"? For me this journey is one of discovering and becoming my best ( at least better ) self. It is not always sunshine and spring blossoms fragrantly perfuming the air. It is sometimes hard work. Wading thru the junk, baggage and the shadows and doing well to just stay afloat. But I wouldn't miss it for the world. Thank goodness we can come here and vent and process the stuff we need to work thru. We aren't perfect but we are here for each other and that is a rich gift I am truly grateful for. Mary

You guys are the greatest! You can always make me feel so much better!! I love you guys so much you don't even know. Here is my group hug for all of my soul-sisters!!! ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Lisa I am appauled that you would be attacked like that. What a *itch! I also have been to a limited amount of support groups. Same as others say just a few people talking about how great they are! I think I found my support here on OH and I am ever suprised how many WLS pre and post don't know about it. Jen