Right now the biggest pro...

Right now the biggest problem that I am having is suffering from BDD (Body Dysmorphic Disorder). My case seems to be very bad. I obsess about my body 24/7. I already had this to an extent before surgery. For example, my highest recorded weight was 267 and I am 5ft 8in tall. That should give you a fairly decent picture of my body. However, when I look in the mirror, I see an 700lb woman literally. If any of you saw the program on TLC called "The 627lb woman, Jackie's Story" this is the size that I see myself. Now that I've lost 81lbs and I'm down to 186, I STILL see the 700lb woman. I obsess over my sagging tummy and the "girls" that look like tube socks now. I still avoid mirrors which confuses me because I hear others saying the love looking in the mirror now. It really is becoming a problem for me. Don't get me wrong, I'm THRILLED with the weight loss because medically, I'm doing tons better. Emotionally though, I'm on a roller coster and I want off. Will I ever see the new thinner me? Anyone else having trouble with this and if so, what are you doing to cope? Heather 267/186/160ish

I struggle with this, but not to the degree that you are suffering. The book "The Real Skinny on WLS" talks about this in one of the chapters. The authors mentioned that it is helpful to get the 'real picture' if you look at photographs, especially next to other people, or if you look at a full length mirror from farther than 10 feet away. That helps force your brain to see the actual reflection rather than it's "imagined" reflection. You may also want to consider some counseling with someone who is experienced in this area. My love of the mirror comes and goes. There are times when I can't stop looking and other times when you couldn't PAY me enough...

Thank you so much Becky. I went home last night and took a good look at myself in the mirror (from a distance) and it wasn't as bad as it had been in the past. Instead of studing every roll and sag, I tried to just look at the overall image. For the first time, I saw my smaller face. Hey, it's a small step, but it is a step in the right direction! Between you, Kathy, and the rest of the terrific Maysters, I just might make it through this. Who'da thunk you guys could be such wonderful therapist? Heather 267/186/160ish

It's weird. I can see a difference when I'm dressed but the naked body! OMG! It still looks the same as when I weighed 273! Except for my face. My husband says he can see the difference and he thinks it's because I see myself every day that I can't really see it. I'm taking pictures every 3 months and measurements every month. I wonder how long before our mind catches up with our body? You are doing great! My surgery was a few days after yours and I'm down 65.5. It's really slowing down now, darnit. Oh well, I'll just keep on the schedule and not lose sight of the goal. My husband keeps reminding me that it's only been 5 months....seems much longer though. Linda 273/207/150?/hopefully 136

I have to echo Becky's sentiment of seeing yourself through pictures, farther away from a mirror and perhaps seeing a therapist. I'm 5'7.5" and started this journey at 276 so I can definitely picture where you started and I'm 181.5 now so I can definitely picture where you are now since we are very, very close. I'm lucky that I think I see me as I am. Yes, it is saggy and floppy and all that jazz...but it is also significantly smaller than I was. I mean 94.5 lbs is alot of weight. One very strange thing happened to me the other night. I put a t-shirt on and it was huge on me. I was trying to remember how it fit me 8 months ago at 276. I asked hubby and he thought it was a bit tight. So I measured the chest and it was 52 inches around. I then looked at my profile to see my starting measurements and sure enough...my bust was 53 inches. I stood in front of the mirror with this huge t-shirt hanging off me and was stunned that mere months ago it would have been wallpaper stuck to the wall. Another thing to do is to take an old article of clothing (before) and lay it on the bed with something that fits you really, really well now on top of it and look at the difference. It is completely mind blowing. I remember years ago walking into a store and picking something up and saying "this won't fit me - it's two small" and then ending up fitting into something 2 sizes smaller. Sometimes our minds need to catch up to our bodys. Good luck, Kathy

Wow Kathy! I must say that all of the post on here really helped me and made me think about things, but yours struck me the hardest. I have so enjoyed watching the "incredible shrinking Kathy" in your pictures and I know that I've read your before and after numbers before, but I never realized how close we are in numbers. I look at you and see an amazingly skinny woman. Then I thought to myself, "if you see a skinny woman in Kathy and you guys are just about the same, maybe you should take a look in the mirror one more time." I went home last night and took a good look at myself in the mirror (from a distance per Becky's recommendation) and it wasn't as bad as it had been in the past. Instead of studing every roll and sag, I tried to just look at the overall image. For the first time, I saw my smaller face. Hey, it's a small step, but it is a step in the right direction! Heather Paschal Surgery 05/19/05 Starting 267 Current 186 Goal 150ish

Great post, I was just talking about this with my friends on Saturday, before I was fine being heavy and did really have issues with my look, now that I am losing I obsess over the saging arms, thigh flag, stomach and my god the loose skin from my previous double chin, seems like I am more obsessed over my looks than I have ever been. Also, though I know I am smaller (lost just over 80lbs now) I dont really see it I guess because I look at myself every day its not as noticeable, yet everyone at works tells me how great I look, I am still not convinced. I now realize more than ever before how important that pshyc exam was. It is a much more emotional ride than I ever expected! Hang in there and know your not alone! Cary

It is once again so refreshing that we are all basically going through the same thing practically at the same time! I was looking at myself the other day in the mirror when I got out of the shower and was thinking wow, look at that big hanging stomach and my ugly boobs. But you know what, with clothes on I look million times better and more people will see me like that. Hopefully the only one who will see me naked is my husband and he thought i was sexy at 320 so I know what he thinks now!!! Thanks for sharing your feelings Heather.