A very hard day for me....
With tears streaming down my face, I write this.
A year ago today, I lost my mother. She died at home after being brought home from the hospital earlier in the week. She had suffered a number of strokes and after being put on blood thinners had what appeared to be internal bleeding - she probably had cancer too though we aren't sure of that. The doctors gave her transfusions to bring her back from the large internal blood loss and stopped the blood thinners. She couldn't talk and only had limited use of one arm. That was it.
I had been there with my family the previous weekend and then the doctors released her on that Tuesday. I had flown home the day before and then came back that Friday. That Saturday, we had a great day. She was alert and playing with my hair. My father, sister and I each had one on one time with her. And unbeknownst to each other, each of us had individually told her that it was okay to leave us and that we'd all be okay. The next day, she never openend her eyes and just slept all day. We all were heading to bed Sunday evening and my sister was sleeping across the hall from her and didn't like her breathing and went in and checked on her. She took her blood pressure and it didn't register. She turned around to get something and heard her last breath. Then she woke my father and me up. In a moment, one last breath...she was gone.
I remember those moments so clearly - it was just as if it happened yesterday.
Her death at age 72 is what made me decide to have weight loss surgery. I already had diabetes and high blood pressure just like her. Me, the daughter that so resemblds her mother in so many ways... was following her down her medical path and that had to stop.
Today is a very bitter sweet day for me. So much has happened in the past year...I got married last November (a year earlier than planned so that I could get this surgery on my husband's insurance) on what would have been my parent's 52nd wedding anniversary. I had my surgery on what would have been my mother's 73rd birthday (didn't plan it that way). So here I am now over 4 months post-op and over 7 months into my weight loss and down 87 lbs and my mother isn't here to see it...to share it with me...to celebrate with me.
I do know that she is here...if nowhere else but in my heart.
Kathy
Kathy it has been a hard day for you!!! Thoughts and big hugs are being sent your way from Texas. I'm so happy for you that you took that big step and had that surgery. We learn from others mistakes and/or health problems. I still have my mom and dad but I lost my grandmother (she wsa 62) when I was in high school. She was diabetic and didn't take care of herself. My dad was diagnosed years ago but because of her death he took the disease seriously. He is on no meds but monitors his blood and lives life sugar-free. I'm just like my dad and grandmother and I do NOT want to head down that path. I'm hoping to stay healthy and avoid the diabetes. My Dad is 60 now and he's so healthy and YOUNG.
Thank you for sharing Kathy. You're doing so well with your weightloss and you always keep up informed. Thanks for all you do.
((Kathy)) 
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