HELP: Depression & Anxiety - Am I alone?

Hello all. Many of you knwo me to be the eternal Susuie Sunshine, so it may seem a bit odd for me to be complaining about overwhelming depression and anxiety. I don't know where its coming from, nor how to fix it. The doctors have me on Xanax, but it doesn't seem to do much good. It's gotten so bad that I don't want to leave the house, and although I started a new job less than 2 months ago with a 40% increase in pay, I want to quit. I feel completely overwhelmed and insecure. I have to keep working to pay the debt form my surgery, but I really want to stay home with my kids and be a housewife now. The world seems so big and scary to me now. My mind can't stay on task and I find myself forgetting to do things assigned to me at work, even though there's a list and several folders with assignments in them. I'm in a downward spiral, and although my husband and I have spoken at length about this, he is adamant that i have to keep working no matter what and that I can stay home with the kids in 5 years or so...sigh. I don't think he understands how hard this is or how frigntening this lack of control is. I feel like I'm forced to do things that make me miserable and have no choice in the matter. Please help...what do I do? Is it my physical changes that are messing with me? Wht's happening to me?????? Help!!!

Hi Gina, I hope you are feeling a little better. Maybe the Xanax isn't cutting it, and its time for you to talk to your doctor about something new. Lately I have been feeling completely overwhelmed and anxious as well. I picked up another job to makes ends meet, and I am carrying a 12 credit course load, in addition to being a single mom, who just had life altering major surgery...There are some days when I want to cry sooo bad, and the tears won't come. Therapy has helped somewhat, and so has medication. The most important fact, was realizing..."hey, it's ok...you're gonna make it". I can understand your desire to stay home, and sometimes when we want something so much, we can't focus on anything else. I would advise you to speak with your psychiatrist...and see if there is something you can do...Feel better Gina (((Hugs)))

First of all breath - just take a deep relaxing breath. I have heard that sometimes we need to speak to a therapist after going through such a life altering procedure. Have you thought about talking to your doctor to recommend one yet? Andrea

Gina, Here's a big hug for you! I certainly don't have the answers for you, but I think the recommendations for speaking with a therapist are good ones. Sometimes and objective professional can help shed light on issues that seem to be overwhelming. I know that I'm feeling lots of changes in my life since my surgery, and those certainly add to the normal stress of life. Good luck to you and let us know how we can support you! ~Wanda

I suppose I could be like the others and tell you this will pass, but I don't know that for a fact. I have some bouts of depression but overall I am very happy. I will tell you this, if it were my husband, and he knew how bad I wanted/needed to stay at home with my children, he would take on two jobs to make it happen. I am sorry that your husband cannot be more supportive of your wanting to be at home to raise your children. I think children need their mom at home with them during the day if at all possible. I know that when I was a single mom that was impossible, but now that I have my husband, he and I would never want to put our little boy in daycare, not in this day and time. I do enjoy my little part-time job I have a few nights a week though. I sometimes work from 6-10 3 nights a week. It gives time for Jacob and his daddy to have one-on-one time, it works for us. Good luck and I wish I could say more to make it better.

Hi, Gina~ So sorry that you're going through this. When did you start the Xanax? Anti-depressants can take several weeks to really kick in (like 3-4 I believe). Same with a new job. Every time I start a new job it takes me several months to really feel like I have a grasp on my duties and to feel proficient. Maybe that's what you're dealing with. You have a lot of transition going on in your life right now, and all of the changes are big ones that take some time to get used to. Try making a list of specifically what it is that makes you miserable. Is your boss someone difficult to work with? Is there a certain task at work that you dread? Do you hate the hours? Instead of "I just hate the job," try to pinpoint what it is. Perhaps you haven't had time to establish friendships with people at work yet. That can make all the difference, since you spend so much of your day there. If there are many things (or most things) about your job that you truly hate, maybe it's time to switch jobs again, despite the pay increase. If they're things you can change or that will change on their own with time, maybe you can stick it out for a couple more months until things settle into a routine. Same with the rest of the things in your life that are making you so insecure and miserable. Examine them closely, see what can be changed (like medication) and change it. Definitely talk with someone impartial (like a therapist like everyone is recommending). You need someone who isn't biased to listen to your concerns and help you sort through which feelings are rational and which ones aren't and how to change those that aren't. Good luck. We're all here for you! Julie

No you are definitely NOT alone....I cant say that I'm depressed in other areas of my life, but my work situation is totally stressing me out and making me miserable.....absolutely so miserable that I hate to go to work and it puts me in a rotten mood the whole day before I go. The schedule where I work is killing me and it's also holding me back from what I want to accomplish...So I'm pretty stressed too, unfortunately I also can not afford to quit my job without having another...

Gina, First of all big hugs ((((GINA)))) Then take a deep breath. What you are going through seems to be normal. I have been on xanax for years with good results but since my surgery, it has not been cutting it. The doc just yesterday put me on Paxil which is an anti-anxiety drug. Don't know yet if it will help but willing to try anything. We all have undergone major life changes in the last 4 months and it plays a big toll on us emotionally. The really scary part is they took away our support system, FOOD. Like everyone else said, talk to your doctor and see if he or she can help. Don't try to go it alone. There is help out there. Good luck and keep us updated. Hugs, Kat

Gina Sorry to hear about your situation. There are so so many antianxiety antidepression medications out there today. It is not such a closet illness as it once was. Xanax is probably pretty old school. I would talk to my doctor and see about changing to a different medication. Have you been exercising? Those endorphins are great to stabilize mood and help you sleep and keep your mind calm. Hope you find some level ground! Keep us updated! Posting definetly makes us all feel better! Jen

Hi there! You're definitely not alone!! I'm taking Effexor XR for depression/anxiety and without it I'd cry all day and never leave the bed even to dress or shower. I'm seeing a counselor once a week... and that helps too. Still... I get so so so depressed. Not suicidal, but just completely despondant and want the world to just leave me the heck alone for awhile. Keep utilizing the board here, it helps to get it out... and don't be afraid to suggest to your PCP that the meds just aren't lifting the depression... there are lots of them to try. I'm looking forward to November when I'll be 6 months out and can take the capsules whole instead of opening them up and putting them in a spoonfull of applesause. I started with yogurt but now I hate yogurt... and starting to hate applesauce... hate gagging that down. Sigh. Hang in there, we're all thinking of you. xoxo Shannon in WI