I give up :(

Hiya Michelle, Sounds like you are pretty down. Sorry you are hitting the skids. We all have days when it is hard. Especially when the scale isn't moving. That's enough stress to push us over the edge if it goes on for very long. My scale hadn't moved for almost a month. I felt secret panic and wondered if something a fellow May post-op said about being {insulin resistant] was why the scale wasn't moving. My doc told me for years that I was insulin resistant but I did not really undertand what it meant...just that I was pre-diabetic. But I started writing down everything I eat every day and actually got out an old " O A For today" book of daily meditations for compulsive overeaters and began to read it every morning and then also update my food diary. I try to jot down if my eating is going well or is feeing compulsive and just make a note. Writing down what I eat made me take note of the carbs I was consuming and just observing where I was getting into troubled waters. I found a recepie for chocolate peanut butter protein balls and also made up a recepie for peanut butter-butterscotch protein balls and keep them in the fridge for breakfast and 'on the go' days where I can pop a few in my purse and have the portable prot. balls for a quick healthy snack or meal. ( they are really yummy) I went food shopping just for 'me'. I bought yogurt that I really like and some deli turkey breast that really tastes like roased turkey breast, some salad greens that are a little pricey but I prefer and some cheese and triscuits in rosemary and olive oil. I even got a little chocolate in tiny doses for those days... when ya just gotta have a taste of the 'forbidden'. Anyway the scale finally decided to move and in the last 2 days I am down 8-9 lbs. and I feel a renewed surge of hope. One thing I would like to learn more about is insulin resistance. Some of us have more of a struggle with certain kinds of carbs and they can slow down our progress alot. I want to learn more so I can work with my specific body chemistry. So I can succeed. I am not a fast loser. I hate the words "slow loser" but a pal from my support group says slow and steady wins the race. So maybe I'm a little like a turtle but I'm bringing up the rear. One thing I do know is that we cannot do this without support. You are struggling and we are here for you. If we get discouraged and begin to fear this won't work for us we can rally the support of others who are struggling too. Not everybody will have a smoothe slide into home base. Don't let fear rob you of the success that's just waiting around the corner. Please don't throw in the towel. I don't know if you had to fight appeals to gain your insurance approval or had to bite the bullet like me and self pay (after fighting and appealing for three long years and getting denied 3x ! ) All the fighting made the warrior in me rise up. I want to beat this obesity and I want to be well and not live in chronic pain and illness. I want to feel and look great and it is a worthy effort. I want to enjoy my children and give them the gift of enjoying their Mama for many years to come. I never realized how my family suffered because of my ill health and morbid obesity. I don't want to see them go thru that ever again. God bless ya and stick around and let the miracle of support lift your heart and hope once again. M.