Body Image?

There's a couple of posts on the main board today about long term post-ops suffering from some pretty serious body dysmorphia. It got me thinking about when I was looking for jeans yesterday. In the changing room, as I held the jeans up to put them on, I mentally slapped myself, saying "There's no way you'll fit in those, look how small they are..." At the zoo today, I had to go through one of those revolving people counter thingies - you know, the bain of an obese person's existence. I went through sideways, cringing that I'd get stuck (again) when in all honesty, I could have walked right through. Does anyone else feel this way?

I've had the problem with discerning "will that fit me" to "oh my - it's too big" before. Yet...when I look in the mirror...I feel like I do see myself as I am now and not as I was before. Or at least...I think I see a body close to what I truly am. I certainly don't see myself as a size 22/24 when I look in the mirror. I think my head is catching up to my body. Kathy

Becky Sue, I suffer from that BIG time! I used to wear a 32 dress, 34 pants. I now fit into 22 pants, but it's like I don't believe it. Every time I put them on I'm afraid they won't fit anymore. I'm thrilled that I can now fit into a booth comfortably, but when I'm seated by a hostess at one, I still cringe in fear of embarassment. I guess it just takes a while, perhaps a long while to become accustomed to our newer bodies. ~Wanda

I don't really feel that way at all. In fact, I think I look great! But I do know what you mean. Several years ago I went on Nutrisystem and I lost 65 pounds, which was almost all of my excess weight (at that time). Anyway, I remember being at one of their meetings when someone asked me why I was there. I said, "so I could lose weight", but this person saw me as slim while I was still fat in my head. But looking back on the situation, I realize that I never changed my way of thinking about food. I'd eat the packaged meals all week waiting for Monday to come around so I could go and weigh in. Then, I'd PIG OUT!! Monday's were my day to cheat. So when I went off the diet, I went right back to my old habits and quickly gained the weight back, plus some. During the whole process, I never really felt successful. The fat girl was still inside lurking and just waiting to burst out. This time though, I'm making an effort to change the way I think about my life, my eating habits and my general health. I don't know if that's whats changed for me, but I just know in my heart that things are going to be different this time. I know it probably helps some that I can't eat sugar or really high fat foods or else I and for that, as strange as it sounds, I am grateful. btw... I walked through a turnstile at Menards today and noticed how much easier it was!! Just one more little WOW moment!!

It is really hard to believe, while I bought those 14/16 tops at LB thinking I would eventually get into them I still dont believe they fit! Today I put on a top I had not worn in a bit, it use to be tight and today it was so loose my bra straps were constantly showing. I also noticed my shorts are really baggy, I use to pull them out in the front so that you couldnt see my stomach as much, no need to do that anymore. Yesterday the waitress at a Chinese restaurant I went to with a date tried to put us at a table he was like umm cant we get a booth she looks at me and I was like yeah can we get a booth, I fit no problem! Boy how great did that feel. Cary

I'd say sometimes yes, sometimes no. In the morning, when I'm out walking around our building, I look at my reflection in the glass constantly. I guess I'm trying to figure out what I look like to other people. Sometimes, I'm like "dammmnn! Who's THAT hotty?" and sometimes I feel like the same morbidly obese waddling marshmallow as usual. It doesn't help that people around work are always telling me "you're getting soooo skinny!" I know that, as a size 22/24, I'm far from skinny. Beats a 32/34 though. I just don't know. Julie