Hi fellow Mayers, ...

Hi fellow Mayers, Due to a misunderstanding with one of our grown children which despite our best efforts to 'build a bridge to their heart' they remain distant and unreconciled. My heart is grieving and deeply missing them and the warmth and closeness we enjoyed before the misunderstanding. My problem is that yesterday {this child's birthday} when I was very sad over the situation and feeling very powerless to "fix it" , I over-ate. It was a fairly innocent food choice : frozen blueberries with splenda and milk. But ate alot more than I was PHYSICALLY comfortable with. I could have stopped but willfully didn't. Afterwards I was miserable for an hour. My fear and concern is that when my heart was aching, I turned back to the comfort of my old coping mechanism - FOOD. I was awakened to the fact that this 'surgery tool' , is and will (and can ) help me lose the weight but I have a ways to go to learn new skills to help me cope with heart ache without turning to my "old friend" FOOD for comfort. I wonder if any of you also are discovering similar issues? *Because this issue is so tender to my heart, please don't scold or flame me or condescend. I am hurting and really need support, please.

I too understand I had an "issue" & wanted a sweet or something comforting. I cried and got so mad that I did this surgery cuz I couldn't comfort it. Plus PMS I was an emotional wreck A little screamin cryin & a Good friend got me through it. I didn't & havn't cheated when stressed , sad, or lonely. Yes I have cheated but the need 2 cheat is not there I tried I was fine. Yep I got a great suger high & that was 2 weeks ago no need to again. WHich used to be b4 surgery everyday. Communication I feel is the key but everyone is different your find your new comfort it may take time but you'll find it. Prayers Carrie

I'm so sorry that you're going through this and I know how difficult it must be not being able to comfort yourself in the 'known' way. I've had a few situations come up that I've not been able to eat over and I know how hard it has been for me. My best advice is to find a good friend, a journal, something. Don't try to cover up the feelings, let them come and deal with them. It is VERY hard, trust me, I know!! And, too, we're all here for you!! ((((HUGS)))) Michelle

You bet your boots others are dealing with this issue. I have had a couple of instances where I knew I was full, but kept going anyway. I have also discovered that bread, crackers, pretzels, etc. are like lighting the fuse for a (scaled back) binge, but a binge none the less. Snacking is what will be my downfall. The best thing you can do is recognize it for what it is, think about where you were and where you are today, then make the decision to continue or walk away. Take care, J

Thanks Vicki. I have tried the Quaker Soy Crisps. The BBQ flavor is good, but the White Cheddar is . I have seen GenSoy at the store and may try them next. What are your faves? J

My favorite is the GenSoy Sea Salt and Vinegar or Cool Ranch flavor. I also like the Quaker White Cheddar, though. Michelle

I looked at the market and didn't find the Soy Crisps, Where did you buy them? Thanks Jane

No your not alone in this, it is a daily reminder for me to use other coping skills. My coping mechanism for dealing with emotions and stress was always food, now when I feel stressed especially from work the first thought that still goes through my mind, uhmmmm what do I have in the house to eat. I stop myself a this point and try to keep myself busy with other things. A bad habit recently was going shopping. I do not suggest this. I still battle this everyday. I figure I didn't get to be the person who I was two months ago over night and therefore the solution and learning to use more healthy coping skills isn't going to happen over night either. I figure as long as I am aware of what I am doing and examining the reasons behind them I am making progress. Don't beat yourself up over this, a child doesn't learn to walk over night, they first learn to crawl and then stand. Fall on their face a couple of times, but they pick themselves up and finally master it through determination and practice. I wish you all the best in this new journey and hope through time you and your lost child will find reconcelation and closeness again. ---Sabrina

oh my gosh I would never scold you etc. and can't imagine any one else either. I have had similiar things, I have eaten more than I should because it was tasty and I miss sitting down to that nice meal or yummy whatever. And yes we are going to have to learn new ways to cope with our feelings (I try walking) it helps. We are babies in this just learning our way. Don't feel bad about your choices just move forward. My doctor suggested journaling, I haven't tried it but some say it's good. Take care of yourself and feel better. Jane

Hi my dear May family, I am deeply touched and moved at the compassionate and honest responses. You all are the best ! The greatest gifts we can give are the gifts from the heart. Many of you have shared your own struggles and have made me feel encouraged. It feels good to know that I am not the only one who struggles with this. I took a chance and shared my heart and feel surrounded with warm and sincere kindness and support and hope. Thanks to each and every one of you.