Family Support?

So, my surgery is the 27th and I am ready, nervous and excited but READY! There is one but... my mother. She is very much against the surgery. She uses the line that she will support me but does not agree. For a while she swore that she wanted nothing to do with it at all, but now she is coming in to town Friday after my surgery is over (she claims she couldn't get off work ). So, here is my question, is anyone experiencing a similar situation? I mean she is stressing me out more than the surgery and I am worried that if I show I am in pain or that I am sick that she will rub it in my face like "I told you so". Any advice? Thanks!

Hey Megan, Your mom might just be scared... maybe she's too stubborn to let you know. Even if she's against the surgery, she still loves and worries about YOU! I'm not having ANY loved ones at the hospital. Some people think that its a weird request. i just tell them that I personally would feel MUCH more at ease if I didn't have people there waiting around worrying. I told them that I just want to let the professionals do there jobs, and if I feel sick or I'm in pain, I won't have to apologize to any family! I'd rather have my loved ones see me when I come home. Thats when I'll need help anyway. There won't be any nurses at my house! Let your mom know that she's making you nervous. Give her a "chore list" of things that you might need or things she could do for you once your home. Her mind would concentrate on helpng you instead of annoying you! Then she'd have a specific purpose. HUGGS!

I was adopted when I was 6 weeks old, and was reunited with my biological family in 2001. While my adoptive mother and actually the entire family has been supportive, my biological mother was not. My husband called her to let her know I was out of surgery and doing well, and she basically said something to the effect of "whatever". She said she was glad he called and she had been thinking about me that day. I normally talk to her once a week, but she has yet to call in 2 weeks. When I told her I was going to have the surgery, she told me I was taking the easy way out and depending on modern medicine to do my discipline for me. Needless to say, that's not the truth. Then when I was so excited about getting my date she said "You don't expect me to be happy for you, do you?" After these hurtful comments, I've decided to put the ball in her court, and let her call and keep up contact for a while. I made a brave decision (as did you!), to take control of my health, my life, and my weight, and it's a shame not everyone sees that. I hope your mom doesn't rub your pain or sickness after surgery in your face. Maybe she will have a change of heart after you are through surgery and doing well. Maybe she's just anxious about your well-being during the surgery, and she's showing it in a negative way. Keep your chin up and don't let anyone get to you. If you've made up your mind that you are ready for surgery and you are doing it for the right reasons, then you have no one to answer to. Best wishes on your upcoming date! Take care, Ashleigh 251/242/140

Megan: Are you sure we don't have the same Mother???????????? Mine acted EXACTLY like this. She totally flipped out when I told her I was going to have the surgery....kept hoping I wouldn't get approved....refused to talk about it with me and would change the subject if I brought it up...and finally, told me she didn't want to know my surgery date. My Mom lives next door to me !!! My surgery is next week and she finally came around two weeks ago....very reluctantly. I think she realized I wasn't going to cave in. Just remember.....you're doing this for YOU...not for her !!! I've already told my Mother that if I don't feel well and she says "I told you so" I won't be bothered by it. Don't let her stress you out. Find peace in the fact that you're doing what you know in your heart you must do. And good luck !!!!!!! Jean 255/255/150 Lap RNY May 24th

It's so nice to hear that my mother is not the only one out there like that. Sorry you have to go through it too. Good luck with your surgery I will be thinking about you on Tuesday! Meg

Thank you everyone for your support. I have been so mentally stong about everything else except her. I know I shouldn't let her get to me but she has always known how to push my buttons. Back to possitive thoughts. Meg