I'm so ashamed

I have never posted before so bare with me. Alot of the reason is that I am still computer illiterate and don't know or am not sure how to. Anyway, I guess I am mostly ashamed and embarrased. I had bypass surgery 2 years ago. Everything went well. I had very few problems if any and was loosing weight like never before. It felt good and I was also moving like never before, walking almost 2 miles a day and or swimming too. I lost 120 lbs. and had another 120 to go. ( I was HUGH) Still am for that matter. Anyway, I never had any problem with food. No dumping or vomiting or unable to eat anything. Actually, things were pretty much like before I just was eating less. It was almost too easy. So then something (I'm not sure what) hapened and I was not moving like before. Everything seemed to hurt so I rested for a few weeks and that was the end. I have not been able to get back to moving and the weight has been climbing back. I am ashamed to tell you how much. Alot! I can't believe I am letting this happen after all I put myself through. I even paid cash for the surgery as my insurance would not cover it. Used up all my savings. I have a beautiful daughter who has been soooooo very supportive and I feel like I have let her down. She would not admit it but I'm sure she is disappointed in me. I know I have to go back to basics but what are the basics. I know I have to start moving again but it hurts. Oh boo hoo, boo hoo! Could I whine a little louder and longer! So if I know what it is I have to do, why am I writing this. I don't know. I'm hoping someone will kick my butt, slap me around, give me a hug, yell in my face, whatever! Maybe someone will have something to say in a way that I have not thought of before so that something will get through this thick fat skull. I want to be able to play with my grandchildren who are not even twinkles in my daughters eyes yet. OK! enough already! Thanks for listening. Maudiebear

It's not too late! First- don't beat yourself up, that's not going to help anything. YOU CAN DO THIS! I think you should do these things: Start slowly- start with a 20 minute walk a day.... then the next week, do 2 20 minute walks a day. Plan your day around them. Make them a priority. After that week, bump it up to 30 minute walks. Increase as the weeks go. Take one or two days off a week when you feel like you are in a good groove. Start writing everything you eat down. You said you aren't that into computers, but if you want to try, FITDAY.com is a great site for this. Go back to protein shakes to suppliment...you need 100 grams of protein a day Buy sugar free popsicles and eat them whenever you feel a snack urge coming on When I plan my days' eating, I do so much better. If I don't plan ahead, I fail. At work, I make sure I have good foods available, I keep beef jerky and protein bars in my car, my purse, etc. WATER- Double you water intake. Try for 120 ounces a day. This really helps me kick start my weight loss when I need it, and it's a great habit to get into forever. Email me anytime- I have the same struggles, I haven't gained, but I stopped losing at 10 months out. I have to follow these rules every day to not gain. My email is [email protected] and I'm here to help if I can!

Oh I feel for you, what you have said is what I fear. YOU CAN DO IT! You have the tool there so use it, start small, tell youself you will do if for today only, take a walk 15 mintues nothing big, tomorrow you do it again. Next week you increase it. DONT GIVE UP. Do it for yourself, you remember how good you felt, not being tired anymore, you don't want to gain it all back. Hang in there, go to a support group, call your doctor maybe he can make a revision to the surgery. Good Luck!

You're going through what many of us fear will happen to us. You did it once, you can do it again. Check with your surgeon to see if your tool is still ok. Good luck.

Hi there, Shame only immobilizes us, please don't do this to yourself. I believe that many of us fear what you are now going through. The longest journey begins with the first step, and by writing to us about your journey, you have taken the first step. We have all suffered too much shame in our past. Please try to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and go on from today...You sound as if you are in pain about going off the track, well pain shared is pain lessened. I am here if you need to vent, as I'm sure others will be. Try to take "One Day At A Time." You can do it, I have faith in you. Big Hugs, ~Fran (In NJ)

First of all (((BIG HUGS))), Maudiebear. Now, I would like to find out why you're hurting so much. I went through the same thing last August (of '05, not '06). I was going to the gym religiously, up to 45 minutes on the elliptical machine, lifting weights 5-6 times a week, then one day things started hurting. Just a little here and a little there, and then it got unbearable. I finally (after months of testing) found out that I have fibromyalgia. I am not able to go to the gym like I used to and I walk when I can as much as I can (sometimes it's only 10 minutes or so). E-mail me privately and I'll send you a few links that you can check out. If you're having unexplained pain that is keeping you from being as healthy as you can, you need to find out why. Also, since you're NOT able to work out, you HAVE to make your diet as healthy as possible. It's the only way I've been able to keep the weight off. Michelle -200 lbs. and holding strong.