Really Discouraged

Hi all, I have to say that I have been very discouraged pretty much lately. I look at my body and I say I'm happy that I had this surgery. However, I feel bad 99% of the time. Either I have pains from my fibromyalgia or something I ate doesn't agree with me or I've got su*****redibly painful gas (not like the funny rumbly tummy gas, but seriously PAINFUL in my chest gas) or I'm constipated or my costrochondritis is painful or my esophogeal spasms, or I have no appetite or I have an unreal appetite or my pouch is hurting or my pinched nerve in my back is hurting which makes my abdomen hurt or something! I have pain in my upper abdomen a good portion of the time from either gas or my pinched nerve or the esophogeal spasms. I've had an endoscopy done and everything looked great. I've had an EKG done. Every test that I've had (blood and otherwise) have all come back great, so I know that everything is good inside, but I feel like total s#-t 95-99% of the time. I am honestly starting to regret having this surgery. No, I don't have diabetes or high blood pressure, but I still am totally unhealthy! Or at least feel unhealthy. I feel almost worse than I did pre-op. How f-d up is that? Maybe I'm just venting, but I really needed to do it and get this out. On the positive side, I got my drains out from my TT today and feel much better in that respect. The nurse said that everything is healing fantastically - is one of the best she's seen. She said that my complete recovery will look amazing. Michelle

Im sorry you are so discouraged... its soooooooooo hard to try to do something right and then still not feel good... our health is such a important thing and we dont realize it until we dont have it... Cant do much but offer you lots of gentle hugs and big ears.... Hugs Karen

Hang in there girl. Here's what I do when I start questioning everything. Sit down and write what a typical day was for you preop. Really think about this. Close your eyes and walk through the everyday difficulties that you had when you were morbidly obese. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Heather

Michelle, Your post hits far too close to home for me. Pretty much since a few months post-op, I've always had some ache or pain that is related to this surgery yet the source or cause remains a mystery/unidentified. It has been a complete and utter rollercoaster of emotions for me. I've been poked, prodded and tested up and down. Now, I swear that I keep waiting for the next shoe to drop. When will my dull aches and pains finally become something serious? Bound to happen, right? My right side pain started in September of 05 and is still there - even right now in fact. Oh, I thought it was gallbladder and I thought it was costochondritis and I thought it was due to a selenium deficiency but the bottom line is that it has been with me all this time and it is never truly gone. It is just to what degree I feel it on what day. It never gets severe which is good but it obviously is something. I honestly believe it to be surgical adhesions because it will hurt different if I lay on my side where there is more pressure (gravity) pulling on it. I too had the esophageal spasms that landed me in the ER and getting a cardiac evaluation for a few days. Ends up it was from swallowing my vitamins whole. Over 30 days of daily chest pains... all for vitamins pretty much. Since I swapped vitamin shapes and cut some into quarters... I've only had pains maybe 3-4 times and twice it was definitely stress related (when Rich's dad was in the ER). It didn't last long but it was there. I've had strange abdominal pain a few times. Strong pain but not lasting very long. I suspect that is something herniated. Not a hernia but something twisting. I worry about that becoming a serious issue. I hate all of this. But it has become my reality. Sorry to ramble on my own tirad there, Michelle. When I realize what you've gone through I realize that my aches and pain definitely pale by comparison. I hope that all your issues get identified and resolved and that you feel better soon. Glad to hear that the TT is healing well. That's great. Hugs, Kathy

Michelle, I'm so sorry you're having so much pain and discomfort. Do you take milk of magnesia or anything like that regularly. Perhaps it would help with the tummy and gas discomfort. Fibromyalgia is just a *****! My sister-in-law suffer with it. Have you tried getting regular messages for it? I certainly don't have any answers, just trying to offer what has helped others. Hang in there Sue McD 306/188/150