Giving up

I'm Shannon, live in NE Wisconsin. WLS was on 5/23/05. After 106lb loss I'm back up 20lbs as of last night. I KNOW what I'm supposed to and not supposed to do... and I have no clue why I'm sabotaging myself. I know that I need help and encouragment and some friends and support. Breakfast: egg/ham croissant, coffee/hot choc mixture, sometimes candy bar or muffin. snack: all day sun flower or pumpkin seeds lunch: take out... usually 1/2 portion of whatever daily special is from the restaurants. dinner: hamburger helper or something easy. snack: air pop corn, soda, chocolate. I have never had any dumping, nothing makes me sick, I can eat more and more at a sitting, especially when stressed. I don't WANT to gain it back, but I don't seem to be motivated to try. oh, and I don't have an exercise plan. I'm not asking for anyone to feel sorry for me... I guess I just needed to acknowledge what I'm doing, and hope to get some feedback on how to get myself on track. Shannon

Shannon - You dont want to give up!!! If you did, you wouldn't have posted to the board. So - I applaud you for reaching out and being honest with us about your situation!!! Here's my suggestion (for what its worth): Write down a list of things that you can do today because of wls and losing over 100 pounds. Stop and think about it, even the little things that you now take for granted like tieing your shoes with out being winded. I'm sure you can probably come up with at least 50 things that have improved in your life!!!!! Tape that list (write in big letters) to your fridge with a before/after photo of yourself!!!! You need DAILY reminders of where you've come from and what a blessing it is for you today!!!!! It's GREAT that you know what your eatting. Now take it to the next step. Pick up everything in the kitchen that you KNOW is bad for you (chips, chocolate, white carbs, high processed foods or whatever) and bag it all up and give it to the trash man!!! I know you paid good money for it, but better it go to the trash then back on you! Of course, you then have to replace those foods with good old fashion healthy snacks. Proteins, fruits, veggies... you know. Now, I'm preaching to myself here to!!!! As I regret eatting those darn pringles chips AGAIN!!!!!! Exercise: Oh gosh, I'm the wrong person to even talk about it. I did soooo great my first year after surgery with exercise... but to be honest I haven't done any form or regular exercise in the last 10 months!!! Obviously - any form of exercise it better then none, so do what you can. I can't do any right now as it's WAY too cold outside and yelling at my kids is NOT a form of physical exercise. LOL Honey - You can do it!!!!!! I know you can, I know you will. Get back in contact with people. Read the boards and take encouragement from others!!! It is amazing how much better you'll feel just doing that!!!! BIG FAT CALORIE FREE HUGS TO YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Laurie

Hi Shannon, You know what..... you have not given up..... because you have come on here and posted.... and that to me is a big step. Its absolutely wonderful and it is no easy task to ask for help. I applaud you. Its a huge motivation to come to a message board like this. come here daily, go to the main board if there is nothing new on this part of it, because there is always new stuff there. baby steps lead to big steps. read what others say we are all learning daily. life is truly a journey. remember your early days and what you first did.... back to basics. private message me if you like. call your surgeon's office and talk to your nutrionist, go to the support group meetings if you can. you have done too much to give up. thank you for reminding me and all of us how easy it is to get off track. hugs. j

Hi Shannon, My name is Joan and I am in the exact same boat as you. Never had any dumping, can eat anything (and do), Lost 100lbs. and have gained back 20. If nothing else please know you are not alone. I tried to e-mail you privately, but I'm computer illiterate and don't know if it worked so I am replying here too. I am trying real hard not to hate myself as that is so counterproductive. But it is hard not to after spending all that time, energy and money, only to sabotage myself. Sooooo........... I am trying to take little teeny tiny baby steps to get back into some kind of routine. For instance: instead of eating a candy bar or muffin, just eat half the candy bar or muffin. Set your mind to that, just take half and drown the other half in water. (literally, run it under water so you can't eat the other half.) Sounds kindof stupid but it works. And after a while you realize that it get expensive too. I don't know....... I'm not happy for your situation but I am happy to know that someone else is having similar problems. You can always w-mail me too if you want, just DON'T GIVE UP and I won't either Hope to talk to you soon Joan

Joan, I send you a hug too. I'm sorry you are going through this also. I am struggling in other areas and know that there is a lot of pain in everyone's life. I do feel that if you come here though, as with me, there is hope and if you keep coming here it shows that you have not given up and that you feel that you can do something. You did something in May of 2005... perhaps long before that, because you researched it for lord only knows how long before you actually had the surgery, right? i know that it sometimes feels easy to give up, i know that lately i have wanted to give up too. but maybe make little changes in the way you are doing something... and then ask other people that have not given up what they are doing... and something will seem easier. support groups, they are here for support. life isnt easy... bottom line. when things are too easy... then they usually get boring... anyway... water, protein, exercise..... do those three things first. look at old pictures at your heaviest.... remember how you felt then.... do you really want to go back there? can you live with yourself back there? if you feel like you can.... pick up the phone call your surgeon's offic.e... hugs. j.

First off, throw out everything in your house that you shouldn't eat! Candy bars, muffins, hamburger helper, chocolate. Replace those items with stuff you can eat. You know what they are or you wouldn't have lost over 100 lbs. I can't tell you why you or many of us try to sabotage ourselves but we do. But something in your life is making you unhappy and you just have to ask yourself why you feel so undeserving of losing this weight or maybe you like the fact that you used to "hide" behind your weight. You need to be conscious of everything you eat BEFORE you eat it, ask if a few minutes of satisfaction is worth it. You've worked hard to lose that 100+ lbs. Many times it's as simple as going back to basics, drinking the water, measuring your food, journeling, schedule your eating times, you know the drill. Why not try to go for a 5 minute walk and as the weather gets nicer, start going for longer periods. I joined our local run/walk club (I'm mainly a walker) and that gives me a purpose to get out there, I like to have a reason to walk so I make a plan to participate in an upcoming walkathon and that motivates me to get out there and walk. As I was getting closer to my goal and the thought of maintaining seemed harder than losing weight, thoughts of now what do I do, I've lost the weight. So I focused my energy on the exercise instead and made goals in that arena. Kinda sounds like you are depressed and you may need to seek medical help. You are reaching out for help and there is help available...it just takes that first step. I can't quite remember how the poem goes but it's something like "First 1 step, then 2, soon a journey has begun" . I know that's not quite right but just take it 1 step at a time.

Girl...Please ....my computer is so messed up just send me an email to [email protected] I would love talk to you jen

Shannon, First off I want to send you a big ole hug!!! Things are going to be okay, take a deep breath and focus. You've already gotten a lot of great advise from the other posters. I am a huge sweets eater and like you I never dumped, maybe very slightly in the beginning but nothing now. I have to have something everyday or I literally think I'm going insane, but I always save it until just before bed and I look forward to it all day. I personally follow the Core program of Weigh****chers. It lets you eat healthy fruits and veggies and whole grains until satisfied and also allows you 35 points for not so heathly items. I got to a low of 145 and then gained up to 157 at one point. I agree that you should get all the tempting foods out of the house first and then concentrate on one thing at a time. Maybe one week start with upping your water, then the next week maybe concentrate on getting a set number of grams of protein, the the next maybe a ten/fifteen minute walk in each day. You can do this! Instead of a week focus on one day at a time and reward yourself, but not with food. When I eat my sweet at night I always add it into my daily calorie allotment. If you feel you just have to have something "forbidden" maybe buy a single serving. I love air popped popcorn and eat it almost everyday as a snack. I buy the kernels and pop them in a brown lunch bag in the microwave and then spray butter cooking spray on them. I like how filling it is too. Other good snacks would be a handful of nuts, yogurt, or lowfat cheese. Hang in there, I'd love to talk to you on a regular basis if you'd like. Just email me and I'll offer any support I can. You are not alone! It's a daily battle would the food monster. Please don't give up!! Candy [email protected]

Shannon, Hang in there!!! I recommend going to a Weigh****chers group. Their core program is pretty easy to follow and track. It sounds like you're grazing a bit too much and you are eating some foods too high in fat. Unfortunately, we still have to track what we eat to get to goal! My sister had the surgery 15 months ago and her surgeon (in FLA) recommended an Astenosis injection to tighten up the Astenosis so she is unable to eat as much. I've never heard of it...in fact I had 3 dialations done because of scar tissue on my Astenosis. But it may be worth you asking your surgeon about. Keep the faith...I know you do not want to gain it all back. Hugs Sue McD 306/186/150

Hi Shannon, I had gained almost 20 pounds and went back to my surgeon last week. Somehow looking her in the eye has helped me now be accountable. I'm now planning everything that goes into my mouth. I was eating a lot of quick and easy stuff. I'm trying not to eat out much at all. It's harder, but I've already lost about 3 pounds in about 5 days. I'm taking my lunch to work, only having healthy things around to snack on, and trying to walk at least 3 times a day. I cannot tell you how much better I feel. I encourage you to think about how you can plan better to avoid the faster things. I know we can both get through this. I'm here for you any time. Feel free to email me if you'd like! Big hugs, Wanda