OT...my dad

My dad went in for a colonscopy on Monday and they found a mass in his colon. They told him it was cancer and that he needed to have a CT scan to see if it spread then to go meet with the surgeon to see when they would take it out. Well he did that yesterday and they found a couple of spots on his liver and would look at those when they do the colon thing. I am very scared for him. He's supposed to be the healthy one. He doesn't get sick. He's only had one other surgery and that was when I was little. He had back surgery because he shattered a vertirbre. He also is my payee since I'm on disability. I don't manage my money real well so he does it for me. If I need something I ask him and we talk about it so I always have money. I am scared that he will die and I will be up a creek. We butt heads because we are so much alike but also we are very close. I don't want him to die. In the last year our relationship has changed so much because I have been doing smart things in my life and not doing so many dumb things. I had my surgery, I went back to school, I moved to a better situation and a better apartment. I also try not to ask for money every time I'm out here so that he doesn't feel like an ATM. I talked to my mom this morning and she told me that he broke down in tears before he left for work. That has me really scared because he doesn't cry. He never cries and now he did. What if there is something going on that they aren't telling me and he is really dying. Please pray for him and our family. Jan

Jan, Aw, hon, you need to step back and take a deep breath. Finding a mass doesn't mean it is cancer and it certainly doesn't mean anyone is dying. You are going to have to hang tough and wait til you get all the information from the doctors. Don't jump too far ahead yet. My father was diagnosed with prostate cancer just about a year ago and my sister was diagnosed with breast cancer in January. Both are through with their treatments, have wonderful prognosises and are actively enjoying life. My husband has myelofibrosis which isn't quite cancer but close to it. The progress will be slow and no treatment until he has symptoms which hopefully is years and years away. We just count our daily blessings and do as we have always done. We won't worry til we have to. Your family is in my thoughts. Kathy

Jan, The CIO, my bosses boss, was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer that had metasticised (sp?) to his liver. He is only 48 years old, a physician and has 3 teenagers. It is very scary and sad for his family. We have an excellent cancer hospital in Salt Lake City, but, he found he had to go to MD Anderson in Houston to get the kind of surgery he needs to possibly save his life. I'm a breast cancer survivor myself of 5 years. It does not have to be a death sentence. I so hope you Dad can get the help he needs and that you and your family can give him the love and support he needs. Big hugs to you! Lori

Hi Jan, Just read your post and am sorry about the news. I am praying for your Dad and that he gets excellent care and treatment. I am also praying for you and your family . When one family member is ill everyone in the family is deeply affected. Sounds like you are very anxious. Like Kathy and Lori said. Hold on and try to wait till all the tests and diagnosis is in. There are such wonderful treatments available today so there is much reason to hope. Thanks for letting us know and sharing your feelings. We are standing with you Jan. Mary

Well, sweety, they are doing amazing things with cancer if that is what he has so don't assume the worst yet. He will need lots of support to go thru this and this may be the perfect opportunity for you to be strong for him. One way that you might be able to help your dad and yourself too is to learn how to budget and stick to it. Your community college or where you are going to school may be able to help you learn how to do that. That would be a big concern off your dad's mind to know that you will be able to take care of yourself. And think how proud you will be of yourself knowing that you have taken responsibility for yourself. You can do it, I know you can! In many ways, learning how to spend your money wisely is similar to learning how to eat healthy. You need to resist the urges to buy impulsively just as you need to learn how to resist that head hunger. Learning how to manage money wisely is part of growing into a mature young woman. You can do it, girl! (((hugs))) Linda

Jan, your dad and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. God bless. Hugs, Tracy