Not feeling well

I just need to vent a little. I took my youngest off to college last Wednesday, and since then I have felt terrible, both emotionally and physically. I don't think it's a coincidence that my physical state is tied to how depressed I have been. My daughter and I were very close, well, as close as an eight teen year old will let you be. My oldest daughter moved to NYC in July and I have been very stressed about that, too. So, my nest and my heart are empty right now. My stomach started hurting on the drive back from Ohio, which I blamed on the SF frozen yogurt I ate on the trip. I am lactose intolerant, and took Lact-Aid before I ate it, but I don't think it did any good. On Thursday, I didn't feel like eating, or doing much of anything else, and by Friday, diarrhea set in. I took the first sick day since I had my WLS surgery. Since then, I have had diarrhea numerous times a day. I think it is starting to ease up a little. It's also weird that my water tastes bad to me when I drink it, and I have had to resort to Crystal Light. Usually I don't have any trouble getting in 4-5 bottles of water a day. My last worry is my tummy tuck scheduled on the 21st of September. I will admit I am scared to death over this. I have read so many posts on the PS forum and Michigan board about the pain associated with this, and I am soooo much more scared of it than I ever was over the gastric bypass. So, I just needed to get this off my chest (considering how low and saggy it is these days, it doesn't take much). I know time will help with the pain I am feeling over the empty nest. For those of you who haven't experienced this yet, I can tell you it can be excruciating. I feel I am grieving a great loss. I am perversely hoping the pain of the tummy tuck will take my mind off my home problems. My husband and I will be celebrating our 30th anniversary three days before the TT. We were married for 5 1/2 years before our first daughter came along, but it is hard to have such a quiet house after 24 1/2 years with kids in it. Sorry to dump (verbally) on you all, but you guys are such great listeners. Debra M. 351/171/? diarrhea and abdominal pain are great weight loss inducers!!!!

Debra - here's a big (((((((((HUG)))))))))) your way. I'm sorry you're having a difficult time of it right now. I know about the abdominal pain and the weight loss associated with it! I've been dealing with it for about a month now and have lost about 20 pounds in that time. It's by no means fun, but it definitely does take the weight off. I would say that it could very well be nerves, emotions, etc. that are setting up your tummy problems right now. Try to relax. You've got a lot going on right now and it is bound to take it's toll on you physically. I know, for me, my body starts reacting to stress way before I feel it emotionally. My husband can see it coming a mile away. He says I get quiet, distant, distracted, and my shoulders tighten up (which you can see much better now since they're so boney) and then within a few days I start popping Xanax. Give yourself some time. Take a long walk, get a massage, go out with a friend for tea or coffee (decaf, sf, and non-fat of course! ) or just keep posting here. It will help. We're here for you! Michelle

Hi Debra, Hugs, I know how hard this is. It is a huge difference when the baby leaves the nest. I remember once hearing Dr. James Dobson say on a radio program - "that when the last birdie leaves the nest the couple comes back into the house, pours a cup of coffee and says to one another WHO ARE YOU ! ??? " So we get to re-discover our spouses in many new ways. A challenging but worthy venture. It is a bigtime grief and loss and opportunity for self- discovery and soul searching in WHO you are as well as WHO your honey is without the kids home to make the usual noises that have suddenly gone silent. And to keep things stimulatingly stirred up creating tremendous distraction from the pressing questions. Take all the time you need to think and grieve and ponder and dig deep into the wonderful and creative woman you are ...even when not NEEDED daily in the same fashion as always present MOM. ( with ever present kiddos ) Surprisingly you may mine some things you always wanted to learn or do or paint or draw or knit etc. and now that you have time you may see those creative fires fan into flame. You may stand in awe at what gifts you un-earth. I hope your heart is comforted and heals in this aching longing time of transition. I pray also for your physical body which may very rightly be reacting to the quiet storm inside. Keep listening to your body ...just in case ya need to check in w/the good doc. Happy Anniversary! 30 years is HUGE these days Hoping by TT time you feel settled and refreshed and have a wonderfully successful , minimally painful recovery - which DOES happen sometimes !! Hugs, Mary * Mother of 5 and after the nest was empty for some time... the youngest birdie did a 'boomerang" and has now re-joined the household after Mama got used to the quiet and began to find out who I was when not being Mama. * Life is full of interesting surprises. p.s. one thing I did NOT miss in the 'strange new silence'...was the and the that dd are so famous for

Awww, hugs to you , Debra. I guarantee the TT will distract you from the empty nest. LOL! Good luck with all of it. Kathy

Thanks guys, I needed that encouragement. I did go out for coffee today with a friend, and just getting out of the house after being cooped up (and close to the bathroom) for five days helped. I've always felt like I had a strong sense of self, and have managed to funnel my creative ideas through my hands, quilting, knitting, beading, etc. I love to read, too. So I feel I can fill my time, it's the filling of my heart that will take awhile. On to tomorrow, as the tummy feels a little better each day. Debra M.