Food Addiction

Last night our support group had Dr. Harrington speak. One of the things he mentioned is that his patients are suffering from a food addiction which is harder to deal with than any other substance or behavior addiction...BECAUSE WE HAVE TO EAT. He noted that patients who attend support groups regularly and give and recieve support personally on their wls journey fare much better than those who isolate and try to do it alone. His practice is looking into having a psychologist on staff at his office. Also noted that some wls surgeons are doing likewise and even holding support/therapy groups w/ the psychologist to aid the post-ops in their battle with this ever present feind of food addiction. I think it is a wonderful thing for a surgeon to note and SAY that this is an addiction. For me the wls has provided a " TOOL ". However I still live in this altered body and struggle with medicating with food every single day ...always and amen. I wanted to throw this out as a topic of discussion and see: ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1. what your experience has been? 2. what you find helps stave off the grazing and at times " shovelling" behavior???? ( as Kathy wisely called it 8/16). 3. How can we support each other more effectively so we can benefit even more by the warm and affectionate Mayer's support group here ??? I have to go out for a while but will check in when I return. Let's talk it up, and find ways we can succeed at this venture, day by day for the rest of our lives. I'm in this for the long haul, How about YOU ???? Mary

Hi Mary, You betcha I'm in this for the long haul! My experience has been realizing and accepting that I do have an addiction to food, but this surgery has not only altered my body but my mind as well. I can now evaluate my feelings, and determine if I need to eat because I'm bored, sad, lonely, happy or actually HUNGRY. to me boredom always leads to my grazing behavior... eat cuz I need somethign to do, yet when I am overly busy, and dont make time to eat, I shovel because I'm starved, and as most know, the feeling after shoveling is not a nice one. I am unable to attend support groups as often as I like, and as you know I often turn to my May board with accomplishments, dissapointments and questions. You guys are such a wealth of information, and just plain old good folk! Thanks and keep it coming! Aliya

I'm in it for the long haul too! Anyway, my experience has been like everyone elses. I mainly graze from boredom. During the week, my days and evenings are highly structured, so while the urge is there I am better able to find other things to do. On weekends and days off, however, I REALLY struggle. I know I make good food choices overall, when I do graze, but still I'd rather not be grazing at all. I think my faith has helped tremendously. I believe that I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength and sometimes, I will repeat that to myself and walk out of the kitchen. I also find that chewing gum and having diet drinks helps some. I am also going to start back to regular support group meetings. I am also contemplating joining Weigh****chers to get off the last of my weight. I think the weekly weigh-ins and meetings and the structured program will help keep me focused and grounded. The support here, especially the Maysters, is tremendous. Hugs, Tracy

Oh yes, I agree completely. Bordem = Grazing!!! For me the key is to make sure there is no junk in the house to graze on. I will seldom take a desire for something to the extreme of going out and buying it.... but if it's already in the house, I'm all over it. Yesterday, knowing my dh was going to be gone again until Friday, I bought snack foods that are better choices, cheese, nuts, bananas, etc.... I stood there looking at all the chips (cuz dh asked me to get him some) I got his and debated at a "good" compromise, the "baked lays" and then told myself NOPE, I'm not gonna do it and walked out of that isle!!!! I don't attend support group meetings anymore. I was involved with one, but no one there was interested in LEARNING anything, the preop's only want to be told that this will be easy and they'll be successful; the post op's just wanted to sit around and complain about this and that. I found better use of my time!!!! I've found that this board has been an enormous help to me. Especially seeing what everyone is eatting each day. The exercise logs were good too, when I was exercising... hopefully soon I'll be back participating in that!! Keep up the great comments here - I love it!!!! Laurie

Hey Mary, Since I quit my job earlier this year to stay home with my son I have way too much time on my hands and eating out of boredom is very much a struggle for me. What I found to help me is to only buy just what I have to have when I need it. I shop at the grocery store on a daily basis and only get enough to do me till the next day. So if I get the urge to graze theres nothing here except what I planned and got at the grocery store that day. If I find something to occupy me I usually forget about eating. Before surgery I battled binge eating and still fight it now especially when Im angry or something is bothering me. I guess this is the shoveling behavior you mentioned. Im quite more comfortable eating like I should but ofcourse sometimes I dont take time to realize that before its too late. I was attending a monthly support group, but have found it to be a waste of gas. There are only a handful of people that go and I havent found anything to be beneficial enough to continue to go. I do wish there was one that was and wasnt too far away. I do believe that this will always be what it is... a fight... a struggle... but I am grateful for my tool and find myself very fortunate. I know as long as us Maysters stick together we can do this. Yes Im definately in for the long haul!! Candy

Hello All, Thanks Aliya, Tracy, Candy and Laurie , ( and anybody else who has chimed in since I began to compose this ) for your sincerity and honest responses. I just got back from lunch with the girls and we ate at a buffet. Made a taco and turned it into a taco salad with the usual ...plus broccoli and peas, carrots and beans ...turned out to be really good. Who'da thunk peas in a taco salad??? But yummm. Went back for a small piece of chz cake and 1/2 C soft serve Ice cream. Couldn't fini**** ( and don't like that crumb crust anyhow ). I did try that 'waterloading trick' prior to going and it DID seem to work pretty well. Can't quote it perfectly but think it goes : drink as much as you can over 15 min. or so prior to a meal , which is said to trick the pouch and curb hunger. ( Someone else may be able to much more accurately describe it. ) Looks like boredom is a real trigger for us all. They say ya can't heal what ya don't/won't feel so allowing ourselves to become conscious of triggers is a huge step towards conscious choices to do something about them. I am looking at some craft projects I want to do: Example, a mosiac tabletop. I have bought some of the tile and am mentally creating my design. Also I am creating a little haven in my cottage garden so there will be a quiet place to sit and think and read and meditate, surrounded by roses and perennials . Instead of grass I planted creeping thyme, which can be walked on without damaging it and it releases a fragrant aroma as stepped on. ( the baby seedlings are popping up all over and I feel like the proud Mama !!!) Also I have an old birdhouse which I have planned to replace a missing rooftile and paint over all. I am thinking if I have projects which can be planned for evening time , which for me is my biggest grazing temptation, it may help to keep my mind and hands busy. While creating beauty I feel so close to the person I was created to be. I don't know if I will follow thru but maybe we can help challenge each other to press on and DO something other than EAT. It seems that as we bat these ideas around with each other ...maybe we will come up with { what 'works' for US.} I bought the baked chee-tos last week and they did a number on me with my blood sugar. I have been recording what I eat and how it makes me feel because of the hypoglycemia and have found that having those cheese sticks on hand ( not chee-tos ) and alot of fresh fruit has helped me a great deal feel better - plus the tried and true { protein drink } remedy, which I'll admit I was becoming resistant to. I really appreciate all of you Maysters and believe ( to borrow a phrase from OA ) "Together we can do what we could never do alone. I believe that with all my heart. Mary

Well, c'mon now, you KNOW I'm in for the long haul. Our local hospital run support group has had a few psychologists come in and they are asking one to come in on a somewhat (quarterly perhaps) basis. Not sure if they'll add her to their staff in some capacity or just for the support group. It is a great idea. As far as support groups (3D), I attend 3 monthly. One is run by the hospital nutritionists and bariatric coordinator. Another was run by the same folks but is now back in the hand's of one of the hospital's surgeon's nutritionists who started the group before moving out of state. She is back now and it is back to being hers. She is very opinionated and differs from the hospital staff on some points. I do not share the surgeon but everyone is welcome to attend. I get from it so I go. The other support group is based out of a local yahoogroup based here in the DC area. I found it online through yahoogroups. We get together once a month at Paneras on a Saturday morning. It is more a social group. One gal often brings articles to share. If anyone has plastics done we crowd the handicapped stall and look at boobs, butts, arms, bellies, and thighs. We Ooo and Ahhh over the plastic surgeon's handiwork. As for OH, I sometimes post on the main board and on the "light-weights" board. I participated on the VA state board off and on and a couple times a year go to weekends planned with those folks. Mind you, many of the folks from the VA state board, also participate in my other 3 support groups. Lots of overlapping there. I recently started participating on the WLS-grads board on OH. Think that is a good resource for access directly to longer-term post-ops. And most of all, I'm here on the May boards - my home away from home. Finally for online, I have the yahoogroup that is physically local to me here. I am also a member of several of the OSSG yahoogroups - Grads, Protein and Nutrition mostly. I do post on them now and then. And a new on fitness that just started up. I cannot say that I have any magic cure for grazing, BLTs, shovelling, bingeing or other unhealthy destructive behaviors. Lately, I have used the following: 1. Water. I do not allow myself to eat until I finish my bottle of water. I tend not to drink much in the evenings so this definitely slows me down and keeps me from food. Plus after I drink, I don't want to eat immediately. 2. Exercise. I have been doing an exercise DVD every other evening 3 days a week (chicometrics). That takes 45 minutes of my idle evening time and puts it to constructive use. Last night was an off night from the DVD so I brought out the stability ball and did 100 push-ups (not in a row but total) and a few other things. Good diversion from food. 3. Eat something. Sometimes just a piece of cheese or something like that will satisfy me enough to get my mind off compulsively eating. It's got taste, texture, fat, salt... good things that keep ya going. 4. A small project. The other night was simply a few bills or items that needed to be copied and made ready to mail. Took 30 minutes or so. Another distraction. I try not to start big projects but something smaller scale where I can start and finish in a reasonable time can keep me away from food. As for food being an addiction. Well, I'm just not convinced I'm a true addict. Or maybe I'm not convinced that I want to have the AA mindset regarding food. I admit to having bad coping mechanisms for stressors (stress, boredom, emotions, etc) but I'm not sure I'm an addict. I think my rebellion against labeling myself an addict comes from being in my one support group and hearing the one gal talk about herself and her relationship with food. Mind you, this woman was an alcoholic much younger in life and when she talks about her relationship with food she talks about it in AA terms. I guess I don't see myself admitting that I have zero power over food. I don't feel that. Having studied psychological counseling for several years, I did learn about addictions. Addictions are not about doing something even everyday but it is about the behaviors that surround the activity. I learned in that class that an old beau of mine was an alcoholic. He didn't drink every day or even every week but his behaviors surrounding the drinking were destructive. He drank with a goal of getting drunk (mind you, he was much more fun drunk then sober but I digress...) I figured out that his mentality level was stuck to when his drinking issues started - college. He couldn't understand why old college buddies didn't want to hang out when they get together and visit and down a 24 pack. Well, they were married and had families and had grown beyond the college drinking mentality where he didn't. That being said... I know that in my much younger days I had horrid eating behaviors - sneaking food, hoarding food, gorging myself, etc. All things that I would definitely point towards an addiction. But to be honest, those behaviors have disappeared over the years. Perhaps it was going to counseling for a long time. I didn't necessarily work on eating issues that much with my counselor but I think the trickle down effect of the work we did improved many aspects of my life. Yes, prior to WLS I was as heavy as I had ever been but I was there not from sneaking food, hoarding food, gorging myself... it was mostly from having way way too large an appetitie, eating foods that triggered cravings and that were physically addictive to my body and kept adding weight on to me and not having good coping skills for my stressors. Now that I'm post-op, I don't have the large appetite anymore - I eat every 3-4 hours or so between my protein drinks and meals and I never get to the point of being super hungry, ravenous or starving. I limit my carbs and don't eat sugar so my cravings are truly gone. I mean that sincerely. I tend to eat differently than most of you... very little carbs. Need to improve that and add more complex carbs in to the mix. But I'm very carb sensitive hence the recent 7 lb gain from having 1 Power Crunch bar every day. I'm now down 5.5 lbs of that since last Saturday. I told you... my body works weirdly. So to me, what I have left to work on is the channeling of my stressor into productive things rather than non-productive destructive stuff. I am more aware of this than ever in my life. I do not have it mastered. I am a work in progress. I am far from perfect. Most of the time I do well. Some of the time, it gets the best of me. Best thing is that I pick myself up, dust myself off and move on to another day. Hope that made sense... Love the discussion! Love you guys! Kathy

Hey Mary ~ I so do enjoy your posts. You have an enthusiasm that rubs off on me! I am definitely in it for the long haul and the biggest lesson I have learned with my surgery is that one bad day is not going to take me off track of my future and my goals. I do go to support group at my surgeon's office, but not every month. Lately, I've felt like a fraud going to the meetings. Their program mantra is NO snacking and three 4 oz meals a day. Well, at about 9 months out, I determined that the program just wasn't going to work for me long term. I started eating everything in sight. So, I took my own road and found a good nutritionist that specializes in eating disorders. I see her every couple of weeks, and while I'm not losing weight like crazy, I really think I'm finding out new things that are going to help me over the long haul. Now back to the reason why I feel like a fraud at support group. If I tell everyone how I am doing the plan, I immediately get the feeling of everyone tsking me and judging me. I know people want to be supportive, but no one wants to feel like they are breaking the "rules". So, if I go, I don't really tell the truth about my program, and I don't feel good about it in the end. My nutritionist is helping me identify things to help me stay focused on the present. Yes, I eat when I'm bored, stressed, etc. But if I can stay focused in the present, I might actually make the "right" decision. If I allow myself to go into autopilot, I eat and eat and eat. Right now, it's all about taking the few extra moments to think through what I'm going to do and then make a decision. I don't always win, but it helps. I'm also trying to identify when I am actually hungry. I still have a hard time figuring it out. I know I'm hungry when my blood sugar tanks, but that's not a good place to be. I think I'm hungry when I eat at my regularly scheduled times, but sometimes I know I eat just to eat. As far as being a food addict, I get it, but then I don't get it. I don't like to think that I might actually not have complete control over something. It's not my style to not take full responsibility for my actions (and probably consequently beat myself up when I lose control). Part of my understands the power food can have. For example, when my husband leaves town, it has been my custom to "treat" and indulge myself with food to I guess satisfy being lonely. It gets to the point that I will spend days thinking and planning out what meals I am going to have. This was prior to WLS and still exists now. I try really hard to stack the cards in my favor, though. If I want to treat myself to pizza, I get a South Beach pizza that I like and is legal, instead of ordering Pizza Hut (sorry Lisa!). I still eat too many calories when he is alone, but I am working on it. Anyway, my post is becoming a novel. I really enjoy the board here, because I don't get the feeling that I am being judged just because my program is different that others. The diversity here is a good thing that allows us all to be honest about what's going on. I really do appreciate the support, and I hope people will continue to stick around! Angie

Mary, Your post is just what I needed this morning. I'm definitely in this for the long haul, but actually struggling quite a bit this week. I love the suggestions listed by several here and I KNOW I eat when I'm bored! I started a new job this week. It's much slower paced than what I have been doing -- which was part of the goal, but I now actually have some free time on my hands at work. Since I'm not entirely familiar with everything and there seems to be food everywhere, I've eaten some and gained 3 pounds - YUK! I'm changing my ways today and becoming much more familiar with what I'm doing. It's definitely an addiction for me. I do better, but then can easily fall back into the same old patterns. I need you guys and others to help me stay on track -- thanks! I haven't been attending a support group, but hope that I will be able to now that I'm in a less stressful job. Thanks for bringing up this topic -- I need to go walk, walk, walk now! Wanda