15 MONTH ROLL CALL!

Hi Kathy and everybody else...I have been so busy lately but things have been ok. I still (and always have) have a large appetite. I have major cravings for salty foods. I have not gained yet . I hover around 146-149. It is such a head game because if the scale happens to read 150 (no I don't still weigh everyday) then I am depressed. It doesn't mean a thing I know but it freaks me out. Yes, I know that 150 is aesome but I want to stay in the 140's I don't think I will get to my goal if 130 and you know what I think my face would be really gaunt if I continued to lose because I have lost the mostlfrom the chest up. I have seen myself in pictures and sometimes I look too skinny. I know we are never happy, it is never perfect. Exercise has been minimal lately as work is just sucking the life out of me...I know excuses excuses....I love how it makes me feel but make excuses. The extra skin is very depressing becuase the tag on the pants reads 6 and I cannot wear a fitted shirt lest you see my spare tire. and It is nto ven that bad but for my college years I wanted to dress fun and sexy and now that I am the size to do it I cannot because of the skin. So many complaints but when I really think of the important things like my health and well being it is truly a miracle and overall I would say despite the complaints which are minor in the thick of things I am very happy and feel human again. I hope everybody else is well.

I am NOT doing well. I have discovered pretzels and, something I have NEVER liked before, beer. I have taken to drinking lite because I have gained 15 pounds. Imagine, after having drastic surgery to loose weight, someone forgot to cut out my brain and now I'm gaining! What an idiot I can be sometimes. The other day I was watching tv in my recliner, turned to ease my back and felt something tear. Out pops my intestine! I have an incisional hernia which can't be fixed until I have my tummy tuck next summer. It's gross, looks like I swallowed a baseball. My surgeon basically cut me loose, doesn't want to hear about it (a nasty statistic) and sent me to my PCP who wanted me to see my surgeon. Sheesh- I don't know how all of you kept on loosing weight, but my loss stopped after Christmas. My lowest was 173, 90 pounds lost. Right now, I'm 185. I need to see a psychiatrist I guess. Keep up the good work, you lucky loosers! Becky Jean

Hey, Beck.... I'm gaining here. I'm working my ass off but I must be eating more to compensate and gaining. I was already up to from my lowest ever. Then two weeks ago it was +2. Last week it was +1. Then week (since Friday) its another +3. Lovely, just freaking lovely. That puts me at 166.5 from 160. Lowest 158. I'm sooo happy right now. I'm going to have to journal and see what the frig I'm doing. We can get back on track! We can. Kathy

Well I am around 137 to 140 lbs. My goal was 120 lbs. Lately I've been on the high end 139 lbs. I am happy w/my body don't get me wrong I'm thrilled that I am the weight I am and I'm happy. I can deal w/the skin and looking older as far as my body goes. Bc I wanna have a kid one day so why lift and tuck when it will just be ruined lol! After being a mom I maybe won't care. I am still in here trying to get into the nursing program. I apply for the next fall before Fed 1st. I didn't get into the LPN program so I'm guessing that is not for me! I am going part time and working part time. My boss got me help at work so I won't have to stress as much. So I will be applying for the RN program. Pray I get in bc if I don't I have no choice but to change my major. I was thinking education but I really wanna be a nurse. So I am gonna have to work my butt off. This is the year to determine if I will make it to nursing or have to go to education. I will know by May if I am in the RN program for next fall. I did get down to 131.5 lbs but that didn't last long lol! If I worked out I'd probably be less than I am. I'm a size 4/6 and don't want to get to a size two. Thats in womens I can never wear juniors bc I'm too short! 5'1! LOL! I've been eating tons of carbs trying not to lose anymore so my goal changed at 120 lbs gosh I could be a 0! And don't wanna lol! 130 at the lowest and 140 at the highest. I may start eating better when school starts back kinda have to. Just took a break for the summer lol! I am just scared I will get too thin, but I am happy where I am and have finally gotten over my skin issue. Me and my skin made peace! LOL! Its been a while since I posted too. When school starts back it may be less but I will try to keep everyone updated. I wanna try to put 20 hrs a week into studying yep thats w/me being part time taking 7 hrs. One is Zoology (anatomy and physiology) then there is a english history or something like that. Well thats all for now. Hope everyone else is doing amazing. Oh yea I wanted to add w/David's new job and new insurance I can no longer go to my doc or get medicine or blood work done. I will have to pay outta pocket. I can pay the b-12 shots outta pocket the take priolsec OTC and the flintstone vitamins and calcium isn't perscriptions. So I can get around that. Just no more visits to the doc Can't help it tho we won't have the money especially w/me going to college and its only part time! Thanks for listening to me. LOL! Just an update.