Happy Friday to you! Pensive Friday for me!

Well, it's sort of a happy Friday, I guess. For someone someplace. I think I'm more in a pensive mood than anything else. Lots to think about. Lots to consider. Lots to plan. I dunno. Being told your spouse has a medical issue where their lifespan is going to be shortened at some point but you have no real clue when. How does one deal with that? Yes, the doc said he hopes to see Rich for decades to come but that statistics say average age after diagnosis with no symptoms is 11 years. With symptoms < 3 years. I don't like any of those numbers. Not one bit. I hate having to devote any thought and energy to gathering our ducks in a row to make sure that disability insurance is in place (which it is) and life insurance is in place (which it seems to be). The "just in case" aka "worst case scenario" stuff. Eek. Then some other thoughts I had in mind have to be rethunk (LOL!) I had hoped that maybe Rich and I might adopt at some point if financial issues were better but now I wonder if that is so wise. Definitely requires more thunking. Too much swirling in my head... I hope everyone else's day goes well. Kathy

Kathy, what a terrible scenario to have to go through. All of the "what ifs" can be enormous. We're all here for you. I'm spending the day with my kids going to the library, playing some board games or something here at home, then I've got to write an article (I do a bi-weekly article for our NW region military newspaper), and I'm going to do lots of Fibromyalgia research myself. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the idea that I have this and what exactly does it mean. I, like you, have lots swirling in my head. Michelle

Kathy, Although I don't post much, I have followed your amazing struggle and admire your strength. I can understand your feelings because my husband has crohn's disease which is a chronic disease without a cure. In the past year or so, he has developed those obscure complications (you know, the ones that are listed as rare ) Part of the disease causes degeneration of the joints and has effected his right hand to the point where he cannont use it and eventually it will migrate into his spine. This plus a few other conditions are definately a drain on our mental state, but I knew about the crohn's disease when I married him 14 years ago, and that the disease would take its toll. All we do is take it day by day and enjoy the moment. I am not trying to sound glib, but there are something beyond our control. I think one of the things I have learned is that no one is promised a set time with your loved one, you only have the here and now...enjoy the time you have and deal with the setbacks as they occur. Worry and what if's only causes stress and do not change the course. I wish you the very best! C.Swan

Kathy, This is extremely difficult. There is no sage advice I can give. Just cherish each day together! I guess that is what my cancer diagnosis taught me. None of us know how much time we have. Big Hugs, Lori

Kathy - I understand what you're going through. About 4 years ago, my husband went into ER with heart attack symptoms. They did a stress test and he failed. They scheduled him for an angio. (now at the time I had just had ankle surgery and was in a wheel chair, so HE's the patients, but he pushing me in my wheelchair... we were quite the couple then) Before the angio, the surgeon told me that depending on what they found, he could have to follow this up with open heart surgery..... talk about scared, he was 37 years old. I was 32 years old and we had six kids under the age of 13. After the surgery, the surgeon came and told me he had good news and bad news. The good - he didn't need open heart surgery The bad - part of his heart has quite working and there is no way to fix it, no medication that will help it, nothing to do but wait. After more tests they said that he "should" have ten more good years before he'd have to think about his options!!! Huh??? Options, can't fix the heart he has, the only option would be a transplant, but is that really an option?!! I had bad dreams for a long long time after that. Steve delt with it by ignoring it. He's yet to go back to the cardiologist for his follow up visits. They wanted a once a year angio on him to track the deterioration. He wont go. I gave up mentioning it. It's a scary place to be... but as time goes on so will you. Life will get back to normal and you guys will carry on. I'm praying for you guys though, please know that. Hugs, Laurie

Sweety, don't really know what to say because I can't imagine what all is going through your mind. Just wanted to let you know I luffs ya. Hugs to you and Rich.

We all have our "death day" and only God knows what that day is. We just have to leave everything in His capable hands. I will be praying for you and Rich. Hugs, Tracy P.S. I think you should still consider adopting. I am considering it myself if there aren't any marriage prospects on the horizon by the time I'm 40.