Post-Op Tail: The Dog That I Have Become

The fullness of my hair has been like that of the Chinese Crested. "The Hairless variety has hair on certain portions of the body" Yup, that's me - some hair here, no hair there. Strangely I lost hair not only on my head but on my arms, as well. http://www.akc.org/breeds/chinese_crested/index.cfm The texture of my hair is like that of the Wire-Haired Pointing Griffon. "The outer coat is medium length, straight and wiry, never curly or woolly. The harsh texture provides protection in rough cover." Wiry - you betcha! http://www.akc.org/breeds/wirehaired_pointing_griffon/index.cfm My forehead is that of a Bassett Hound. "The skin over the whole of the head is loose, falling in distinct wrinkles over the brow when the head is lowered." That's me... I now have a furrowed brow without even trying. http://www.akc.org/breeds/basset_hound/index.cfm My neck is that of a Neapolitan Mastiff. "The voluminous and well-divided dewlap extends from the lower jaw to the lower neck." If a turkey was a dog breed, I'd have a waddle. http://www.akc.org/breeds/neapolitan_mastiff/index.cfm My torso is that of a Great Pyrenees. " The chest is moderately broad. The rib cage is well sprung, oval in shape, and of sufficient depth to reach the elbows. Back and loin are broad and strongly coupled with some tuck-up." Tucked up? Well, a bunch of it surely ought to be tucked up someplace. http://www.akc.org/breeds/great_pyrenees/index.cfm My butt and thigh are like that of a Chinese Shar-Pei. "There are moderate to heavy folds of loose skin and abundant dewlap." That's describes my arse. It starts half-way down and falls in heavy folds down the top of the back of my thighs. http://www.akc.org/breeds/chinese_shar_pei/index.cfm Now if I can just keep myself from wanting to run after the UPS truck... like would be grand.

That does it.... Time to increase the meds....

Mine or yours???