Did Ya' Miss Me?

I know I have not been around for quite a while. Work has been crazy, crazy, crazy, and so has life in general. I hope you all had a wonderful 4th! I didn't do much - slept late, ate breakfast, lounged on the couch watching television for hours, ate lunch, took a nap, had a snack, worked out, had dinner, played computer games, showered, went to sleep. It was fantastic! I wish I had more "lazy days" like that. We could all use them periodically. Anyway, hope you all are doing well - although I'm sure you all are. On the weight loss front, I am on a bona-fide plateau. I know it was bound to happen. I've been bouncing between 168-178 since mid-May - almost two months. I've changed up the food, changed up the exercise, upped the water and protein, but still fluctuating. I know everyone goes through this after about a year out, so I am not too concerned. A bit frustrated, yes, but not worried that I have stopped losing. Although, I wold like a bit of reassurance and may post something on the grad board. I did manage to get into a couple pairs of size 12 slacks last week, so that's cool. Anyone else going through this? Let's see what else has been going on with me. I got a promotion at work - same title, but more money (about $12K more per year) and more responsibilities. Well, I've seen an increase in workload but have not seen the money as yet. The last time I asked, they said it would be reflected in my next pay check. But I will believe it when I see it. My older sister is still obsessed with how much weight I've lost in comparison to her current weight and how ridiculously "big my butt has gotten". But she, of course, "has no meat back there". *insert rolling eyes* That chick does not live in the wonderful land called reality. She claims to weigh 158, but I know it is more than that - closer to 170 probably. She is terrified that I will get smaller than she is; although, according to my other family members, I am already smaller than she. Anyway, every time I see her, the first words out of her mouth are "I weigh 158, how much do you weigh? What size clothes are you wearing? Last week, she even had the audacity to ask what size underwear I was wearing. It's constantly, I can do this many sit ups, how many can you do? I life this amount of weight, how much can you lift? She refuses to eat around me and when she does, it might be ½ a hot dog, or one fish stick, one sushi roll, or one bite of chicken before she is "completely full". You'd think she was the one who had gastric bypass! My mother, God bless her, even noticed this and told my sister that if she really are as little food as she pretends around us than she would not be so nice and plump. Anyway, I got fed up with the whole thing and told her this past weekend that she's not allowed to ask me anything about my weight loss, clothes sizes, etc, and yes, that her butt is just as big as mine. I'm not doing summer school, thank God. Last semester went very well - I got all A's. Trust me, it will never happen again. Next fall, I have statistics and some stupid information management class, which I believe has something to do with computers. My two weakest subjects... numbers and computers. Ugh. I bought "the Complete Idiot's Guide to Algebra" and "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Statistics" to work through over summer break, but I have yet to crack open either book. I guess I'll take a look at them next week. Exercise is still going strong. I constantly amaze myself with how much I can do and I love pushing myself to new limits. I have so much definition in my arms. Depending on how I move my arm, you can see my shoulder muscles, biceps, triceps, even my pectorals and forearm muscles. Nice! Now, if only I could get rid of the ridiculous loose arm skin! I am considering going ahead with my brachioplasty now rather than wait until I am closer to goal. I don't know - I'll have to think and pray about it some more. At least, I know of an excellent surgeon who will do it for about $4,000. That's a lot less than I thought it would cost. He did my friend and she looks amazing. I put some pictures of my batwings in my profile so you'll have an idea of what I'm dealing with. It's not a pretty sight! If you look closely, you can see my lil' muscles! Aren't they cute?!?!?! All the extra skin, however, is not cute at all! Ewwwww!!!!! I saw "The Click" last week. It was okay but clearly went overboard with the fat bashing. Without giving too much away, there is a scene when Adam Sandler has a flashback to his first two girlfriends and how "hideous" they were. Needless to say they were both overweight. Also, there were also scenes when both he and his son went through "loser" phases in their lives and guess what? Yep, they were both fat during the loser phases. I'm am really sick of that. And if I see one more insinuation that "WLS is the easy way out" or "WLS is cheating" in some stupid magazine one more time, I think I'll snap. Anyway, I am "de-toxing" this week. No s/f cookies or candies, no refined carbs, low fat, no crackers of any kind, The reason for the detox is that my niece spent last weekend with me and I had tons of chips, pretzels, and Doritos in the house for her to eat and I wound up eating most of them myself. I was one continuous graze-fest from Thursday to Sunday. I was so bad that I now have an acne outbreak. You cannot tell me that all that fat and junk does not get into your system and wreak havoc! So, now I am reigning myself back in and focusing of fresh veggies, fruit, lean protein, trying to resist the urge to graze and trying to eat slowly. Wish me luck. I guess that's all the news that fit to print. I will try to be around a bit more often. Hugs to you all! Tracy 303/bouncing between 168-178/135

Thanks Tracy for the update, Missed your face 'round the place. I know what you mean about having those evil snack foods in the house...My daughter had some hot fries here for a week and I've never eaten them before ever. I hadn't eaten any salty crunchy snackies for almost 2 wks. then Thurs. nt. I was "hungry" for something and couldn't find what I was "hungry" for and spotted them. I ate the rest of the bag! Now before I alarm anyone too much it was a small bag and only half full. They burned my mouth and even my nose began to run from the HOT part but I was on a jag and munched away. { the made me do it ! } Needless to say I woke up the next am w/ puffy eyes from all the salt and the scale has not been kind since then. sigh. You look wonderful and your muscle definition is very visible ! Yey ! You are really looking beautiful. One lovely transformation ! * on the homefront, Your sis sounds like she's struggling with identity. If she was always the slimmer sis and now you are sliding into { "HER" } imagined 'place' guess her nose is out of joint. which may be what motivates her competetiveness. I think your choice to set a boundary of not accepting any weight and size related questions is very very wise. Her anxiety does not then become an issue you have to grapple with. " Good fences make good neighbors" they say , and It is a sign of healthy thinking when we can set such boundaries with pesty family members. ** In my family, I am noticing that my weight loss is having some effects on my other overweight family members. I am not DOING ANYTHING to upset them but my presence seems to magnify their insecurity over their weight and all I can do is be kind to them knowing how I felt prior to wls and how hopeless and overwhelming it feels to be MO. I used to be the 'biggest' and now that the 'playing field' has changed there seems to be this unspoken dis-comfortability created when we're together. All I know is that whatever unrest it stirs up may be an irritation that the Lord can use to create motivation to move forward and do what must be done. I must say they are proud of me and happy for me and very complimentary. It's just the sadness and discomfort I can see in their eyes and sense over their own situation that grieves me. Well, do keep in touch gal, we love hearing from ya ! Mary

Hey Mary-Mary! You have such a good attitude about things. *hugs*

Hey Tracy! I was thinking about you the other day. Glad to see your smiling face reappear! Best of luck on the brachioplasty. Let us know how it turns out. Eileen

Tracy, we did miss you. Thanks for the update, what are you going to school for?

Hey Aliya! How's your handsome little boy? Anyway, I am getting a Master's in Public Administration, which is basically an MBA for bureaucrats.

Good for you! An MBA for Bureaucrats! I love it!

Hey Eileen, I hope life in the great state of Utah is treating you well!

Hi Tracy! Nice to hear from you! For the most part, everyone has been very supportive of my weight loss. My father, however, seems to ignore it, unless someone else mentions it to him. He is probably 125 lbs overweight himself. It is weird. I guess in someways I understand. Thanks for the warning about "Click". I, too, am very sensitive to fat discrimination in movies. Don't need that right now! Good luck on reigning yourself back in. It is what I'm working on as well. It is so easy to graze! I'm thrilled to hear you've kept up with the exercise. I have too! Isn't it wonderful? Lori

I knew you'd be keeping up with your exercise! Everytime I felt like slacking off I would think "oh boy, Lori would not approve!"