Checking In

Haven't been on here in a while, but I'm alive and kicking ... just busy. Going to make this a confession time ... I feel like I have to get some stuff off my chest to people who may understand ... 1. I'm still smoking 2. I'm eating too many sweets 3. For the past week and a half, I'm going too long during the day without eating, and then I'm eating too much in the evening (when I get home from work) 4. I'm having difficulty either falling asleep, or waking up super early and not being able to fall back to sleep What I'm contributing this to ... I'm STRESSED and I'm coping by - smoking instead of eating (my old way of coping) and my eating patterns (sweets and late day eating) are beginning to resemble my pre-WLS habits. So now that I've figured this out, I'm kicking myself, which is leading to guilt and feeling like I'm stuck in a rut. Here's the deal ... I am a social worker and I do therapy with sexual assault survivors. I love what I do, yet often times after I meet with a client, I need a break to clear my head which = a smoke break. Any ideas on what I could do INSTEAD? And because I meet with clients all day, I often don't have the time to eat. (I have no problems drinking my liquids though). Any other ideas Re: that? So ... there it is. It's ugly, but its where I'm at. Whew. Diane (believe it or not, I'm still losing weight)

Hey, Diane! Wow, that's quite a job you have and yea I think stress definitely comes along with it as a requirement. I admire the work you do. I think it is great that you are recognizing the patterns in your behavior that are emerging and recognizing them as very familiar and trying to work on them. How about taking a walk instead of smoking? Just walk around the building outside or even inside if you have to. I've been walking a few laps around our parking lot at lunch time and it is a great time to clear my head, destress, get some fresh air, etc. I now really look forward to it every day. I don't need to tell you that eating regularly is so much better for you. And I don't need to tell you that sweets often trigger cravings for more sweets. I'd just having handy healthy snacks available during your day. Beef jerky, string cheese, nuts, etc are great to have on hand for when you get a break and know that you should eat something. Good luck making changes for your greater good! Kathy

Thanks Kathy - the walking idea is a good one! I do have the snacks, just not always the time to eat them - esp. when I see people back to back. Aliya had a good idea about the protien drink, since I do drink regularly. That may be what I have to resort to. Diane

Hi Diane I know what you mean about the old habits sneaking back. My biggie is beer. At first it was 1 or 2 in the evening with my hubby. Now it is 6 or so throughout the day while I am gardening and working in my yard and then a couple more at night. Uggh! It should be water. I'm not sure that there is an easy answer. Like everything the wrong things are easy to do and the right things are hard. Cold Turkey is the only answer and I'm not sure I am willing to do it even though it is the correct answer. Maybe you could get a foot massager or something like that an give yourself 5 minustes of quiet after you deal with a case? I know we are all having our struggles right now and I wish you and everyone the best of luck Jen

Diane, First of all, God Bless you for doing the work that you do. Have you ever quit before? If so what helped. As far as waiting to long to eat, can sip on aprotein drink (which still gives me a sense of fullness, and ensures that I don't overeat? I ttry and make sure to have one whenever I go out, for a meal, and it feels soooo good to take more than 3/4 of a meal home! I dunno, keep hangin on and let us know what works?

I definitely will keep you all updated. I have smoked occasionally for years but quit cold turkey a year before WLS - it wasn't hard because I wasn't smoking much. But NOW is TOTALLY different! I picked it back up when I went back to work - the majority of my co-workers smoke, so for our breaks, that's what we do, and now I'm addicted! I'm smoking a pack a week, where I could go through a pack in 1 or 2 months before! I like Kathy's idea of walking to clear my head instead of a smoke. I need to start associating something more healthy with taking a break! I also like your idea of the protien shake. I'm going to try it today! Diane

I hear ya' Jen! Best of luck to you too! Diane

And still losing weight! Wow, my surgeon did say it's easier for us to lose up to 18 months post-op and some 24 months! That's a plus for sure. I do want to tell you thanks for the work you do with these survivors. I can see how that is also so stressful. I don't have any brilliant advice but Kathy's exercise instead of smoking is a start. It will get you moving and give you time to meditate and/or pray. That's helped me in the past; just some quiet time to myself. I too have had difficulty getting food in and I too LOVE sweets...they don't effect my weight loss. I just have to allow myself some but not to go overboard. I try to savor each bite. Thanks for sharing with us because it helps all of us, especially those who won't post realities like thi. Thanks Diane and hang in there girl!!! Hugs for you!! ana

Hi Diane! Good to hear from you! Thank you for doing the work you do. It is so important, yet I'm sure must take a toll on you. Today, I received an newsletter from livingafterwls.com on empowerment. It is so great. If you would like, I could email it to you. Let me know. Lori P.S. I started worrying about my intake of sweets and miraculously over my vacation I've developed "late dumping syndrome". I'm 13 months out and haven't dumped until now. Now, it doesn't take very much sugar at all and I'm sweating profusely and feeling miserable. I can't say I'm sorry I've developed this. I hope it helps act as a deterrent! Big hugs!

I also receive the livingafterwls stuff. I haven't had a chance to read the new email. I'll have to check it out! Diane