Quick, call a waaaam-bu-lance
Yes, Kathy is whining again like a little itsy bitty baby.
Goodness, gracious, I just don't know what is wrong with me. (Mind you, I definitely suspect PMS is a strong contributing factor here.) I continue to have bad feelings about my progress and I hate it. I really do.
My scale going up after being away in Pittsburgh really got to me. Came home with 4 lbs. Shocker. Not! Typical Kathy. No real exercise, a bit low on fluids (not bad though), too many white carbs, too much SF gum and mints and dining out. It all adds up. So, these past few days, I'm battling getting those pounds off. They are coming off but coming off slower than they went on. And that just bites the big one, you know?!
I had a goal weight to reach by my surgiversary and I won't get there. Not unless I cut off a big ol' chunk of thigh or something. (Anyone got a chain saw they can lend me?) Even a Half-Lytely bowel prep wouldn't get me there. I really truly hate to be disappointed... but I am. All over a freakin' what... 6 lbs? Yup, that's it. I'm disappointed. Argh!
I think the fact that I'm maybe 6-7 lbs down from where I was at Christmas is just eating away at me. The scale has done more ups and downs for me than an Otis Elevator in a NYC skyscraper. 
Anyway, keeping eating out of the equation - I've worked hard going to the gym 4-5 times a week since mid-January and for what? Not alot. Just a scant few pounds and even less on the inches. My body feels stronger, I guess, but it is very hard to deal with all the time invested with what seems like little payoff.
Of course, I think back on the way I was eat at times, my choices and I realize that perhaps I was just eating a bit too much or something. Too many white carbs (never been an everyday thing but still), too much sugar alcohol things (SF candies!), etc. Could I have done some things different, oh you bet. Do I think I'd be at my goal by now if I was better at that stuff... yes.
I don't worry that my pouch is stretched or that my stoma is too large. Nope, I think it is just fine. My portions aren't huge by any stretch of the imagination. I just need to find out what my BMR is so I can eat accordingly to lose the last little bit or even to just maintain at this point. Rich and I will for BMR testing in the near future. I hate that I'll probably have to count calories but at least I'll know where I stand.
Of course to add to my wallowing in self-pity... I see folks that had surgery many months after me... started at a higher weight and they have blown right past me on the scale. I hate the fact that it bothers me. I see all their changes and I'm still here looking the same (not that I look bad cuz I don't - Ido honestly know that).
Do I think that my chronic pain over the past couple of months is affecting my feelings? Oh, you bet. Easy to feel sorry for yourself when you are in pain. Argh.
Reality check time. I know that I've come so far. Honestly, if my weight loss is done - I'll be just fine. I know that in a couple of days with my upcoming surgiversary... hopefully these evil thoughts will be gone and I'll be able to celebrate!
I have to say that I really have strong admiration for the folks that still have many, many pounds to lose. I know how frustrating it is to have the weight loss slow down and know that you still have quite a ways to go. You know me, I'll be your biggest supporter and cheerleader. I know with hard work and support, you'll get to healthy weights whether it is your exact goal or not. Given the path that lies in front of so many, I feel incredibly selfish to be feeling so lousey about a mere measely 6 lbs.
My whining is over. I need to leave all these emotions behind. It is not constructive and it isn't healthy. So... bad emotions, be gone!
If you've read this far...bless you.
As always,
Kathy
Anyway, keeping eating out of the equation - I've worked hard going to the gym 4-5 times a week since mid-January and for what? Not alot. Just a scant few pounds and even less on the inches. My body feels stronger, I guess, but it is very hard to deal with all the time invested with what seems like little payoff.
Of course, I think back on the way I was eat at times, my choices and I realize that perhaps I was just eating a bit too much or something. Too many white carbs (never been an everyday thing but still), too much sugar alcohol things (SF candies!), etc. Could I have done some things different, oh you bet. Do I think I'd be at my goal by now if I was better at that stuff... yes.
I don't worry that my pouch is stretched or that my stoma is too large. Nope, I think it is just fine. My portions aren't huge by any stretch of the imagination. I just need to find out what my BMR is so I can eat accordingly to lose the last little bit or even to just maintain at this point. Rich and I will for BMR testing in the near future. I hate that I'll probably have to count calories but at least I'll know where I stand.
Of course to add to my wallowing in self-pity... I see folks that had surgery many months after me... started at a higher weight and they have blown right past me on the scale. I hate the fact that it bothers me. I see all their changes and I'm still here looking the same (not that I look bad cuz I don't - Ido honestly know that).
Do I think that my chronic pain over the past couple of months is affecting my feelings? Oh, you bet. Easy to feel sorry for yourself when you are in pain. Argh.
Reality check time. I know that I've come so far. Honestly, if my weight loss is done - I'll be just fine. I know that in a couple of days with my upcoming surgiversary... hopefully these evil thoughts will be gone and I'll be able to celebrate!
I have to say that I really have strong admiration for the folks that still have many, many pounds to lose. I know how frustrating it is to have the weight loss slow down and know that you still have quite a ways to go. You know me, I'll be your biggest supporter and cheerleader. I know with hard work and support, you'll get to healthy weights whether it is your exact goal or not. Given the path that lies in front of so many, I feel incredibly selfish to be feeling so lousey about a mere measely 6 lbs.
My whining is over. I need to leave all these emotions behind. It is not constructive and it isn't healthy. So... bad emotions, be gone!
If you've read this far...bless you.
As always,
Kathy 
Rejoicing 2B free
on 5/17/06 12:59 pm - southern states
on 5/17/06 12:59 pm - southern states
Hi Kathy, started to write Hi Sis...Sorry you are feeling down. Must be going around. Maybe the hovering clouds here in the Metro area are tinging the atmosphere with shadows. Ugh, I had a case of the gloomies today myself over similar issues. Almost skipped my support group mtg. because I felt my progress was so much slower than the others. My hubby said when I feel like going least is when I need it most. He was right. I had a great time and even tho I seem to be among the slowest losers I found my niche. Some days it doesn't bother me and I can roll it off. Today the thoughts were heavy as lead. I know there are other issues grieving my heart that are beyond my control. I know these things are weighing me down and are certainly creating a gravity pull...down down down. Anyhoo, hope you find comfort and relief. Sometimes there's no way around it...but through it. So we will find grace to press on. Bless ya real good.
Mary
Kathy, I'll just say this: I totally understand. I'm going through the same thing. I have basically been the same weight since Christmas, and I try not to weigh myself at all so I won't let myself get depressed.
We are doing well, we just need to keep our head in the game and not let ourselves get down.
Hang in there!
All right Kathy,
Here's a tissue... Shoulders back, chin up, back straight.... THIS IS A JOURNEY... NOT A RACE!! You have done a fantastic job. Don't beat yourself up (unless your into that kind of thing 
).... My McCullack is in the shop, so hacking off a limb or part of a limb is not an option. Last year, 6 pounds was probably a good crap!!!... Now it is a significant # because you are WINNING the Battle!!
As for other people dropping more or faster?... You of all people should know that it's a numbers game.... a heavy weight will loose more, faster but still not lose the same percentage at the same rate as a light weight.
We all eat some things that we shouldn't... We all aren't great about giving 100 percent in the excersize department. (I walked by a guy named Jim this week... that's the closest I've gotten to excersize in the last 10 days).... 
Strap them on... 
Get back on the horse and I'm sure that that elusive 96 ounces will vaporize.... We are cheering for you....
Kate Z 
).... My McCullack is in the shop, so hacking off a limb or part of a limb is not an option. Last year, 6 pounds was probably a good crap!!!... Now it is a significant # because you are WINNING the Battle!!
As for other people dropping more or faster?... You of all people should know that it's a numbers game.... a heavy weight will loose more, faster but still not lose the same percentage at the same rate as a light weight.
We all eat some things that we shouldn't... We all aren't great about giving 100 percent in the excersize department. (I walked by a guy named Jim this week... that's the closest I've gotten to excersize in the last 10 days)....
Strap them on... Get back on the horse and I'm sure that that elusive 96 ounces will vaporize.... We are cheering for you....
Kate Z Most Active
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