I had never joined any support groups, and boy am I sorry. I am so glad I found you all on this site. I had my RNY May 19, 2004 and went from 325 to 180. In the past few months, I have gained 10 pounds. I can tell you I am freaking out! I'm trying so hard to get back on track. The terror and shame I feel are paralyzing. I'm finding that I do not want to go anywhere or be around other people, for fear they will 'notice' that I've gained. I'm constantly mentally berating myself for eating more than I should, or caving in to a craving. I have lost down below the 180 before, at times when I was sick with pneumonia, and other illnesses, and once in the rush of new love when I was too excited about my love life to care about food... but my body seemed to always bounce back to that weight. It has never seemed to me like it was good enough. I wear a size 12, and always thought that I'd be thrilled to be that size, but I find that I will mentally berate myself 'why can't I try harder to get into a 10?' and "why can't you stop eating until you get down to 165 like the doctor said you should weigh!" I'm sure you all know the dialog. Anyway, it really helped me to read your messages and see I'm not alone. I'll keep working to get these 10 pounds off, and who knows, maybe I can loose 20 if I work hard enough! I have to have hope. But it sure gave me a boost to read that we're in the same boat, that I'm not the only one feeling this way. God bless you all and thanks for being brave enough to share your stories. - Christi_P

i am asking for a friend she is going to have the surgery done and she was told to use the south beach diet for 6 weeks before surgery could you tell me if she has to do this because she cant afford the meals is there another way gailwinship2003@yahoo.com

Hi Debra - you do not know me bcause I never post anymore. I had my surgery 5/2004 and lost about 110 lbs. I was married for 24 years to a drug addict. He took excellent care of me financially but he was wild and verbally abusive - like your husband I am sure. In public everyone thought he was such an angel - but I knew the truth. Good idea you got away. My husband went on and off shooting up drugs for 24 years. I never left him and he passed away from lung cancer 8 years ago. I should have been upset and sad - but the truth is I was not. I wasted a lot of time on him and I have not really missed him not once. I always kept some insurance on him because I thought he had a death wish. I consider the money I got "payment ofr services rendered" If I had it to do all over again - I would have left. Chances are really good that these idots can never stay in any relationship of any meaning for too long - we just seem to make it easy for them to be what they are. Best of luck and blessings to you and your children. Lisa Solis

I have not ben here n a while. I wanted to post an update and my whole profile is gone. How can I get back all of the information? It was truly my inspiration wheen I could get to a computer. I just wanna pick up where I left off

Yea motivation is important. I have been having soo much go wrong in my life, motivation is sooo damn hard. But you are right, we can do this! Leigh Ann