I need a rash!!!!!!!!

Hi Guys... I need your help... fast!!!! I have an appointment with the plastic surgeon on TUESDAY, May 2nd... and I need a rash!!!! Huh??? You say????? Well, it turns out that my insurance is not doing very many plastic surgeries without a big ole rash... or it being deemed "medically necessary"... never mind the fact that my tits hang down around my belly button, which is down around my you know what... and my thighs are now twin sharpei puppies named FIFI & FIDO... I mean... c'mon people... medically necessary??? YES.. or I will kill someone... how's that for medically necessary??????? Anyway, I'm trying to come up with something to give me a rash... I am a twice a day shower person... so I've kept the rashes and aggravation at bay by keeping myself extra clean and extra dry... BUT, now, I am finding through others in the program that I am going to need a rash... I tried using that Mr. Clean Eraser, which I heard gives you a rash if it gets on your skin... (scrubbed the hell out of my thighs... but NO RASH) ... then tried a finger nail file (fine sandpaper, right?) and although it hurt and made it a little raw... it doesn't seem to be doing the trick... I know... I'm crazy!!!!! I don't want to be in pain... just "uncomfortable" right??? I don't want it to look obvious... but I do want it to be noticable... enough that I can get approved for some surgery... Any ideas guys and gals?????? Hugs, ME Loree