1 yr and 3 days out, not happy

I missed posting on the one year mark. LOL I was running around town with my little girl. This past year hasn't been the greatest for me. I am still overweight, 143 and I am still fat!! I thought I would be at goal by now. Here I stand 5'3" and 143 pounds, yes better than last year but I am still fat and ugly. Of course, I knew losing weight wouldn't do anything for my looks. LOL I can't afford a new face either. I look at so many of you and as you got smaller, you got even prettier than you was in the first place. Me, my face stayed the same, ugly. LOL Anyway, I am not happy with my life or body. Like I said, I thought I would be at goal by now and better off. Oh well, I hope everyone else has a great rebirthday.

HI Toni, You have so much to be proud of, I'm sorry you are feeling so down. You have lost over 100 lbs in a year... that is one heck of an accomplishment. Are you attending any support group or counseling. Given your frame of mind, it may be helpful. You are not "ugly" by any means. It sounds like what you see, is actually what you are feeling. Once you are able to feel the joy & beauty of your accomplishments it will radiate from your face as well. As I am sure you have heard before, they perform surgery on our stomachs, not our brains. All of our issues are still here when we wake up from surgery. I'm a strong believer in support group & counseling in order to deal with all of these issues. Wishing you continued success & happiness, Regards, Pam

Toni I am so sorry you are feeling down. You have accomplished a great thing. Physical "beauty" is such a subjective concept. It is also a fleeting thing. How do you feel when you look at your daughter and spend time with her? That is beauty. Focus on her and making sure she feels beautiful on the inside first and positive feelings about yourself will follow as well. You've make great strides in improving your health so you can be there for her for a long time. I hope the coming year holds great things for you. Do something special for yourself to celebrate your one year anniversary. (Today is mine too!) Melissa

OH SWEETIE....I wish I could give you a hug. I agress with what someone else said...you are looking in the mirror and seeing the turmoil you feel in your heart portrayed in the mirror. YOu are not ugly at all....Have you thought about celebrating my giving yourself a treat by going and trying out a new hair do (this is not a hint...I am a cosmotologist and I know it always makes people feel good), how about going to a make-up counter for a make-over or a manicure. Maybe a new outfit too. Think about what an amazing job you have done over this past year and please try to be proud of all you have accomplished. I would also make an appt. with your pcm and talk to him about how you are feeling....I am sure it is just your brain taking a little while to catch up with what the mirror TRUELY shows. You have lost more then I have and I am the same height so I am sure you are a cute lil thing. Keep your chin up!! HUGS!!! Julie S 265/146.5/135

Hey Toni, Don't be so down on yourself. I am 5'5" and I weigh 172. I am not at goal either. I have about 22 more pounds to go. But I don't concentrate on that, I think about all the weight I lost. I went from a 26/28 to a size 12 right now. If I don't loose another pound I would still be happy because I am thinner now than when I got married 12 years ago. If you ever need to talk just e-mail me. We can help eachother!!! Hugs, Christine -135

Toni R I am sorry you are not happy about where you are. I am 5'3" and my goal for me is 150 lbs and I still have 30 lbs to go. Yes I am disappointed that I didn't get to goal by my 1 year anniversary but I am so happy with where I am. I think some people think that loosing weight will change everything, there life, money, job, looks but it doesn't you will be the same person just weighing less. I wish you happiness and prayers that you find peace. Love and Prayers Patsy

Ok first off buddy, you are NOT ugly!!!! I don't want you feeling this way!! You know you can call me if you need to talk, or email me. I do know how you are feeling some though. I am still fat!!! I have lost over 100lbs and as of my year ann. I am a size 18!!! Yes I am still in fat lady clothes. I am 5'4" and I am weight in at 185lbs now. Yes I know I am pregnant, and I am going to gain weight, but I never got under 183lbs. Here I am 4 months pregnant, and dont look pregnant I look fat. I am even starting to waddle some. I think it is way to early to be waddling. When we go to Six Flags we will get a new update photo of us together. Wait till you see the difference since our last together photo. When I feel down like you are, I go look at all my old photos, then compare them to the new ones. Big difference sweetie, real big!!! I still look real big on top, but I know that is all boobs. I could never get under a DD. I am hoping once the baby is born I can get a tummy tuck after I lose more weight and get a breast reduction. I know I will feel better. We are still seeing ourselves as fat in the mirror, because in our heads we know we did not make it to our goal weight when we thought we would. You are not alone. So please cheer up sweetie, if you need to talk you know where I am. Oh and put this image in your mind.- June 27th at Six Flags a young beatiful woman and her adorable daughter, and a handsome young boy were seen walking with a big waddling duck near the wade pool- more to come in later news!! LOL LOve ya hun- Melissa

Hey Toni...lots of good advice and help has been posted!! First thing...you gotta like/love yourself. After that...you will see all the accomplishments and goals are important...but, not the main thing. I have only lost 70 pounds this first year (today is my anniversery). I thought for sure I would be down to goal. I have 70 more to go. Ughh. To make things worse...my daughter had the surgery...and she was to goal way before her avviversary, and in a size 3. Sickening!! Actually, I am very proud of her!! But, what I have noticed the most, other than getting into a size 14...is that I am so much happier with myself. I actualy like myself. I did not before. My attitude has changed so much. I teach. And, my kids were not so terrible this year!! I think, that was because, I was not so terrible. Other teachers said I had a bounce and "light" to my step and face. So, don't worry about your goal...you will get there. I am super dissappointed that I am not at goal...but, I am super proud of myself too. As I look back at this year...I would not change anything. I just keep thinking...well, if I am losing this slow...maybe, just maybe, I will not have all that extra fat, and won't have to go have it taken off. There is always something good to look for in situations!! So, girl, you are beautiful...outside and inside!! Remember that the next time you look in the mirror!! Love and prayers, Jeannie

Hi Toni I want you to know that we are here for you!! First I am glad we all made it to the first year mark. Congrats to you and everyone else. Keep in mind that it is not written in a big book that we have to be at a goal weight in exactly a year!!! I still need to lose another 20, but its not about that it is about how much you have lost at this point!! It is not about looks at all, it is about getting healthy. I am proud of you. You are better off believe me. You will reach your goal weight. Take care..love Ya Jennifer

Well, Toni...I just went for my one year visit...and I was not happy either!! I posted on the site. I have only lost 53 pounds according to the doctors records. 70 according to mine. I am going from my highest weight. I had lost some when I went to the doctor. So, I know how you feel!! How much have you lost this year? Good luck. I am not giving up...I am back to one cup four times a day. So far I have accomplished that. One day...but, that is a start. So, it will be hard, but, I can do it...and so can you!! Jeannie