What is your opinion??

My son is in a drug/rehab unit. Probably getting out right before Easter. And, the inlaws are not wanting him around. Help...am I being selfish...not understanding?? The inlaws would be step inlaws... Maybe I should wait before I expose them to him...I mean they are perfect ya know. I am not a happy camper. Although I can understand where they are coming from...or am i just being too nice. Uggggggg. Jeannie

Jeannie, He is still your son, no matter what. Why don't your in-laws want him around? Has he done something to them or is he trouble when comes around? Everyone deserves a 2nd chance, and sometimes more time to get themselves straigthened out. I don't quite understand the problem you are having. Explain further please. Hettie

What kind of plan does your SON have in mind for his post-rehab situation? I'm pretty sure the stress of having family-in-law that don't want you there would not be altogether healthy for his fledgling sobriety. I'm unable to tell from your post if he needs to stay with you, if you want him to, or if you feel some sense of obligation to take him in. In any event, part of rehab is learning to cope with REALITY, whatever it might be, so whatever your situation is, he needs to know it sooner rather than later to be able to discuss it with his counselors and his discharge planning team. If the problem is the in-laws lacking of understanding, then perhaps it being Easter-time and all, they need to be reminded of the beauty of forgiveness and tolerance and deep love. Unless, of course, Easter for them is about pretty dresses and lace and chocolate eggs and linen napkins and not about family, no matter how fragile, broken, wounded, or otherwise human they might be. Wow, I'm in a preachy mood tonight. Hope I didn't offend you. I'm here to support whatever decision you take with this. Hugs, Susan

Dear Jeannie, he is your son first and foremost. The in-laws come 2nd or 3rd or even farther down the line. I have a son who has had problems and even though the family has not been happy with him or his problems, they have never turned him away from a family gathering. No matter what his problems, he is FAMILY. Stick to your guns and have your son with your for Easter. Unless your son is a danger to the in-laws or has hurt them somehow in the past, they are not important right now, your son is. Just my two cents. Hope you have a happy Easter in spite of the turmoil you are having right now. Hugs, Laura