May is Quickly Approaching...

Well we all are about 3 months from our 1 year anniversary . I know it is a little soon to be thinking about it . But I sit here remembering how it was 9 months ago . 3 years ago .. and man what a journey this has been . My thoughts wonder to .. Will I maintain this weight . Will my motabolism go back to where it was .. What is next for me ? Do I have PS .. ? How has this affected your life .. O I know we have all done so well . But really - stop and think about just how you have changed as a person .My family tells me I am not Jolly anymore .. that I seem sad .. I personally do not see it .. but maybe so . I know that stress from my job lately has really affected me . But I am happy with the WL .. I am having image problems but I think we all go thru this at one point or another . How will you celebrate your one year .. as for me .. I am going to be at the beach that day ... and run down it like the wind .. I plan on reflecting on my life .. and enjoying some seafood . Well .. enough of my rambling .. I hope everyone is well and love ya all .. The Pix

Hi Pixie, My family says the same thing about me too. I don't feel sad though. At times, I do feel frustrated because my MO DH can't keep up with me now. He still sits and watches tv for hours on end. It drives me out of my mind. I told him the other day that I just got to go on with out him. I understand how he feels as I was there a few short months ago. But I know if I sit there with him, I will be right back where I started in no time. I can eat crunchy carbs like no body's business! I got myself under control again, and I aint stoppin till I get to goal, and maybe not then either!! I have watched your journey, You are amazing!! Keep up the good work! Shele

Hi Pix I am cruising the message board today and you said something that really made sense. For some reason I am not a happy jolly person anymore either. I am not sad - I am just not "excited" as I was. My support group thinks I may be dealing with depression but I tend to disagree. Both my son and I had surgery on 5/13/04 - I am down 115 lbs. and he is down 141 lbs. We both feel the same way. Sometimes I feel as though my whole body seemed to change after surgery. I am very very happy inside though I do not always show it. I wonder if my surgeon cut away some of my appetite for life when he took away some of my appetite for food. Maybe I was so "happy" before so I could hide a sadness inside that I was not aware of.

Wow Nat, I think we might have to look into this!! My husband says the same thing. I just dont seem jolly anymore. I dont feel sad or depressed, but I still dont get out much do to my panick attacks. I have however rollerskated and gone fourwheeling which I havent skated since I was a teen ager, and I was never out on the four wheller before. So I have done some new things. We dont go out to eat much or much shopping do to my panick attacks but that is how it was before my surgery too. So why our our mates seeing this decline in jollyness? Ive notice all replies have said the same thing. Maybe this is something we all need to look deeply into and ask our surgeons. I somewhat think, maybe its because we are not at our goal weights yet and have come on such a long journey we are getting more scared at what if I gain it back or dont reach my goal. It is something to think about. I cant wait to see how everyone has done on the 1yr anniversarries!- Melissa Ps. Now that I think of it Santa is always jolly!! And boy does he have a tummy, lol

Nat...Well, gosh, I hate reflecting on things. lol get's me to having to think to hard...SOOOOOOO...after I think about this, I will post. Brenda

Wow after reading all the responses and all be in the same nature I stopped my hubby from playing the playstation and had to ask him what he thought! Here is his reply " Lord NO Its hands down your totally opposite, you were miserable back then. You couldn't make it 10 feet with out getting out of breath! You are very happy person now!" OK I was starting to question my self. I feel happy but never once thought to ask how someone else viewed me. So for the past ten min I sit and debated on whether or not to ask him. I'm so glad I did. Granted I have about 80 more to go and have to pick up the slack on a few things But i feel GREAT! As for celebrating I'm not sure yet I know I won't be at goal yet so if I do celebrate it will be for the the last year of being the happiest I have been in years! So much more energy I feel like I can keep going and going! Like the energize bunny! Lisa

Well, they say the total opposite of me also...I have more energy, I have a better outlook on life, I have more self-confidence, I seem to be more happy with everything, I am always bubbly, and attitude adjustment is outstanding! I am a teacher. My student's say the same thing. How will I celebrate? I have not thought about it. Maybe fly to CA to be with my daughter who had the surgery too...and is down over 100 pounds and feels fantastic...and has a major attitude difference about everything! She is so much more relaxed and likes herself now!! And then, have my grandson fly back home with me for a couple of weeks. Wow, I can see that happening!! I want to get on the ball and be at goal weight by May. Jeannie

Wow after reading the responces , I am so glad I posted this . Yesterday I took a ride south into NC with my husband . I mostly looked out the window and thought ... What is different now - other than I am a tooth pix - then when I was heavy .... I guess I am so intense abou****ching everything I eat .. the exersise .. maybe I am just not enjoying my successes . I have a doctors appointment on Tuesday and am going to address it . But please know that I am a happy person .. and do so love life .. I think it is time I started enjoying it again . I do remember when I was heavy that I was hell on wheels .. what I mean by that is .. I went thru life like it was Butta ... Now I really stop and think before I act.. speak .. it is really weird ... It is like I have become more mature ... Especially after my dad died 2 years ago .. my whole outlook has changed . I would have never had this surgery if he had been alive as he was totally against it .. and very sad about weight .. This stays on my mind a lot too ... Ya know I feel like even though he was against it .. he would have loved the results .. Thank you all for posting.... Nat

My family and some friends say the same of me, but one friend had some insight. She said to me: You know, you were always beautiful to us. You had this shining personality that no matter what you weighed always overshadowed it and brought forth the beauty inside of you. Now what I am thinking is that maybe I was always trying too hard to make people see the me inside to overcompensate for the weight. Perhaps now that I am little I don't feel the need to grab people's attention with something other than my physical condition. Does this mean I am more superficial? I don't think so... I don't want that to be true. What I want is just the freedom to be me, totally me. If I'm not really happy or excited I don't HAVE to smile to distract people from my body. I just want to be able to have some balance in my life and I hope that's what I am finding.