Relationships and friendships

Hello there, I am posting a question in hopes that I am not the only one experiencing the changes of friendship. I have 2 friends that have had the surgery, we were really great friends before the surgery and now for the past 8 months, our relationship has slowly deteriorated. Why is this happening? I used to go to lunch with one of them everyday, preop we would always talk about how we would be able to save so much $$ going out b/c we would be able to share. We have not been out once in 8 months. She is always complaining, it seems like. She acts different, not happy but meloncholy. The other friend has become a bragging Diva. She is always bragging about how great she looks, what size she's in, how much weight she's lost, and how her husband practically rapes her every night. No I am not jealouse, I feel like a million $$, every aspect of my life is wonderful, except for my friendship with these two. I am right there with her, but I don't talk about it to everyone 24-7. I care for her, but her new attitude kind of stinks. Honestly, I can't stand being around either of them for very long. Do people really change that much or is it me???? I have found myself, wondering why and how this could happen. Thanks for reading!

NO girl...it is not just you. It seems to be happening to the people arounf me also. I had a neighbor that I talked to every day on the phone(somesime 2-3x) and saw each other every day also. In the last 4mo or so I have hardly heard from her at all and we have not hung out at all. WHen I do see her it seems like we are kinda strangers. Maybe like we no longer have as mu*****ommon...who knows. I know it is part my fault too...I used to call her all of the time too and stuff...maybe I am not as needy anymore....???? She used to always give me hand-me-down clothes and now I am in a size 10 and she is still in an 18/20 (but she is also 6' tall). I do know that she started talking to a girl at her work more...she is also chubby. Maybe that is just a coincedence. I am not sure why your friends would be acting so differently now...especially since you are all going through the same thing. YOu would think that you guys would be even closer now. Maybe things will turn around. I am sure the one that talks about it 24/7 is a little attention starved and this must be the first time in her life to be in the center of the attention. I do also have a friend that had surgery a few months after me. She lives in another state but we would talk al lof the time because she wanted to see how good I was doing and what I was eatting etc.. Now she no longer has time for the telephone and I may get an update on her maybe 1x a month if that. I guess we just have to lets the reigns go on the friends and pray that things turn around for the better... I thought I had a few good friends before and now none so maybe I need to get out there and start meeting people again. Sorry I babbled for so long...I wish you the best of luck. Julie S. 268/265/162/130

Dear Carmen, I don't think it is YOU, but I think it is ME. I have noticed differences also, but they are because of the fact that I am no longer as needy as I was when I was so overweight. I "hid" behind my friends. I would do anything for them so that they wouldn't stop being my friends. Now I am confident again and back to being the loner that I used to be. My friends don't understand and I don't know how to explain without hurting feelings. I'm very happy with my weight loss and myself now and I wasn't before-not at all. I'm sorry I can't give you any good advice, but all I can say is what happened to me. I am still friends with everyone I was friends with before, but I am the one who is different now. I don't mind being alone. I don't mind going places alone. Before I wouldn't be caught dead out anywhere by myself!! And I think that if you can't stand to be around either of your friends for very long then maybe you HAVE changed, but for the better!! We all have different needs at different times in our lives. You have found yourself and are happy with that person. The sad friend just brings you down and the bragger just gets your dander up. So it sounds like it is just a wake up call to find some new friends whose company you enjoy. It's sad when friendships go south, but you can always enjoy the good memories of them and just move on to new memories with new friends. I hope I have helped a little. If not, I'm sorry. But congrats to you on your loss and good luck to you in your search for new friends!!