Century Club! But not happy.

I thought when I reached the century club I would be sooooo happy. Instead, my marriage is falling apart and I could almost care less about being a size 12. I knew the statistics going into this regarding marriage, but I just didn't think I would become one of them. I know I don't post much and haven't got my pictures up yet, but I want to thank all of you for letting me "stalk you" and read your postings. Even though you may not realize it, you are a big help to alot of people. Thanks again and I'll try to post more often - but I'll be "stalking" almost daily. Kathy H. 265/161/hoping for 136?

Hi Kathy, First, Congratulations!!!! You have done such an awesome job. I am so sorry your success is being clouded by disharmony at home. This change we go through affects all aspects of our lives and while we may be ready for the change a lot of times those closest to us are not. They are comfortable with the fat, unhappy us. Alot of it has to do with their own insecurities & fears. I hear it all the time (my own son included when my DIL has WLS), they are so afraid we are going to "get skinny and leave them"... what they don't understand is that (in most cases) if we were going to leave we'd done it along time ago. I don't know your specific issues, if your husband was supportive of the WLS. Are you (and he) involved in a support group. The group I am in has several husband/wife "teams", the WLS patient & the supportive spouse. This seem to really help the supportive one understand what is happening. If there are other issues, of course, general counseling may help. Be proud of your accomplishments & be Happy....you deserve it! Take care & I wish you a Happy, Healthy, Successful 2005, Kind Regards, Pam RNY 5/13/04 268/159 9 lbs under goal

Pam, Thanks for the support. Have a great 2005 and congratulations on being under goal! Wow - that's a major accomplishment for you! Enjoy the new you and the new year. Kathy H.

I kind of know how you feel. Maybe before you ate so much you may have been happier. Perhaps you should seperate with your husband and if you both care for each other you will get back together. Sometimes our beginning weight problem makes us feel like we cannot get a man to love us so we settle in for years of indifference because we do not want to be alone. Other times our husbands get real jealous and cannot stand for us to look great. Maybe when the surgeon bypassed the major part of our stomaches he also bypassed a large part of our feelings and our appetite for life period. Sometimes I feel kind of indifferent and I cannot tell why. I still am happy I had the surgery though. Thanks for listening. Lisa

Kathy, I hate that you are unhappy in general with your life. It is a pity that the statistics are so high for WLS patient marriages. I swore that wouldn't happen to me and so far so good. I can't imagine not having my hubby to share this wonderful time of my life with me. He's so very supportive and even understands my recent shopping addiction. I hope that things will calm down at home for you. If not, then maybe it just wasn't meant to be. Christie 244.5/162/138

Kathy, Bless you. I am praying/pulling for you. Be pleased with your success and your HEALTH--its so difficult to place ourselves first in that regard. We are 'ourselves' regardless of our weight--I wish the general world could 'learn' that lesson well. Put that picture up--you'll be so glad that you did. I am PROUD of you!!!!!!! Hoping for brighter rainbows in your life. Hugs Debbie R. -92 lbs.