dealing with compliments :-S
My surgery was May 17th. I'm only 5'3'' so I'm quite short. I've already lost 75 lbs. I'd been away for two weeks and came back Tuesday. All day Friday and Saturday people in synagogue get complimenting me on my appearance. I said "thank you"---most people know about the surgery---but inside I was seething. I still think that who I am inside is more important then what I look like. How do other people handle this?
Sometimes I blush. Sometimes, I just say thank you. Sometimes, I say, I'm really not skinny when people call me "skinny". I think they mean well and want to be supportive, but it does feel weird. It makes me wonder just how bad I looked before. The other day I was convinced my head must have been the size of a pumpkin pre-op because everybody kept telling me how they can really see my weight loss in my face.
I, too, think that most people mean well and are trying to be supportive. I am a teacher and have been back to school for a week and a half now. My colleagues really gushed over me for the first few days, but it's died down now. I'm sure they just wanted to make me feel good, as your fellow worshippers probably did as well. If it really gets under your skin, maybe you could just smile and say, "Yes, now I'll look as great on the outside as I've always been on the inside!"
I am certaily not as elloquent as Jennifer. For people I know, I don't get upset at compliments because I know them. And people I know don't make a big fuss about it. For people who I don't know I don't feel good about their comments. I usually will make some smass-ass comment back regarding my weight loss. For example, "Well my sister did need my kidney so a little weight loss seems trival, ya know"? That usually silences them pretty quick.
, Oh Well its worth it!! 
Hi Sara,
Try to get your head around this thought: "normal" people get compliments all the time 
... whenever they wear a new outfit, get a great haircut, come back from vacation looking relaxed ... but nobody looks closely enough at a fat person to notice little differences in appearance. So the fact that you're getting compliments now just means that others are "registering" your appearance -- just as most folks do to most other folks most of the time. We formerly-fat folks just haven't had much experience being on the receiving end of these comments.
For heaven's sake, don't seethe! There's no insult hiding behind every compliment. Just repeat them to yourself as happy-making thoughts, say "thanks" to the giver -- and give someone else a compliment they deserve too. Spread the positive reinforcement around! 
Donna
243/190/134
... whenever they wear a new outfit, get a great haircut, come back from vacation looking relaxed ... but nobody looks closely enough at a fat person to notice little differences in appearance. So the fact that you're getting compliments now just means that others are "registering" your appearance -- just as most folks do to most other folks most of the time. We formerly-fat folks just haven't had much experience being on the receiving end of these comments.
For heaven's sake, don't seethe! There's no insult hiding behind every compliment. Just repeat them to yourself as happy-making thoughts, say "thanks" to the giver -- and give someone else a compliment they deserve too. Spread the positive reinforcement around!
Donna
243/190/134 Thanks everybody for your comments. They've been very helpful. I especially like Donna's comment that normal people get compliments all the time; people ignore fat people. Thats good to remember. Also, its good to know that other people wrestle with this. I've been realizing that I'm not the same person inside since the weight loss started---I'm more relaxed, more positive about the world, not quite as angry and I can smile. How many of us could feel truly at peace before our surgeries?
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