Am I the only one that is doing this~

My date is May 27th and I have been getting more and more nervous with each passing day. I am married with 2 small boys ages 2 and 3. And I have some family members that are not supportive of me having the surgery. I have a sister in law that spent her entire evening over here on Sunday trying to convince me not to have it, and telling me that I had better get a will made up before hand cause I can die, and also told me that I was being selfish to put my life at risk when I have 2 small children like I do. Mind you she is overwieght as well and my husband says that she is jeaulous of the fact that I will be thinner than her. Also I explained to her that I am only 25 years old, very healthy, and 260lbs, I have a fabulous doctor, and am no where being a high risk for this surgery. But all this has started to shake me a little and it upsets me cause I was so very confident before. Don't get me wrong I am still having the surgery! Been through way to much to turn back now. What I was wondering if any of you did make out wills, and maybe write letters to you loved ones, just in case, I started doing this last night and was just wondering if I am crazy or if anyone else has felt the same way.

I think it is very bad of your family to do this too you. My family was / is behind me all the way. The only one that really mattered what he thought was my husband. I did not write or video tape a message to my son. Just the morning of my surgery is when I started to get really nervous and scared. I told my husband things that I wanted done and remembered if any thing went wrong. Of course it did not. I am 42 yrs old and never been to surgery before. Of course turn your fears over to God and he make things right. I am now almost 2 weeks out and walking 30 min. don't have a scale so not sure of wt. loss yet. I will go back to work next monday.

I am sooo sorry that some of your family is giving you a hard time. My surgery is scheduled for the 24th, my family is supportive(at least to my face) and I'm still scared and nervous. I think those feelings would be there even without the family. Maybe you should tell the unsupportive ones what I tell my children: If you can't say something nice,(supportive), then don't say anything at all! My husband and I have wills, but it was done before the birth of our first child. Will I write letters? No, I truly believe I will be fine, and so will you!!! Try to think about the long healthy life you are going to have with your children. No negativity!! Best of luck and a prayer for you!! Anita

I'm sorry people are giving you a hard time. But they usually don't understand the whole story. Maybe she is jeaulous because she is scared to do it and if you do, then she is afraid people will look at her then and say, why didn't you have surgery? Yes, we all know that you could die but that is the case ANYTIME you go in to surgery!!!!! Writing letters to loved ones is syour personal choice. But I had Faith in God and had prayed many times before making this decision and had so much peace about it that I was not swayed from the course. I knew that God would let me know if I was NOT to go any farther. Hang in there, Pray, and You will be fine. I will pray for your peace, and health and success. Always, Ann

Hang in there! I also had a few family members that were not happy with this choice. But the question is: Are you doing this for them or for yourself and your family? I have a 17 month old and I also was told about being selfish and crazy for doing this because he would not have a mother if I died. I say if you have made up your mind then tell everyone to but out and if that does not work then just avoid them for the next few days. My parents went out of town the day of surgery and did not tell anyone, so I haven't worked hard and getting a hold of them the last few days. Oh, well... I would not change a thing. Hang in there and know that this is your choice and your life. -gerriann post op 4 days 12 pounds gone forever

You need to do what is right for you. Not having this surgery is NOT a guarantee of never being in danger. You could step off the curb tomorrow.......you know the rest. There is no guarantee of safety. I'm not putting this well...sorry 5 days out and still a little brain dull from pain killers! There's a lot going on in the situation with your family. My family was initially scared, but I listed to what they said...and thanked them for the concern and input. I aknowledged their fears and said that I'd be having the surgery anyway, so they can come along and give me the support I'm asking for or just be quiet. Another thing...it's hard for others to see a woman or man take a powerful step like this that says "I am willing to take risks to make a better life". It's intimidating and you may get push back. As for will, etc.....I don't have kids, so can't say there. I'd definitely arrange for who would take care of them. I did do a living will, which says what medical treatment I want and don't want. Sorry this is rambling..basically....listen to your inner wisdom and do what is right for you and the wonderful, healthy future you are building for you and your little boys. JC Lap RNY w/choly May 14, 2004

Shame on her!!! You are right she is VERY jealous!! My date is also May 27,2004 and have had mixed messages from some of my family members too but remember you are in control of your own body, you NEED to feel good and love yourself before you can love others!! You go girl , my prays are with you!!

Julie, I had surgery on the 17th, everything went fine. I had some thoughts of a will and letters but was told to focus on the positive. My husband and 2 adult daughters were with me the whole time. I know they already know how much they mean to me. I didn't feel the need to tell them that as I went into surgery. I didn't write them letters, I focused on the positive, I know that was better for my health. I will keep you in my prayers and I know things will go well for you. The worry will soon be over and you will begin on the other side!!!!

Julia, it's a scary thing to do but I think it's only natural to get a little nervous before wls. I had support from everyone (even if my daughter was a little scared for me & my best friend didn't want me to have it) so I can imagine not having the support you need makes it even more scary. It will be 2 yr's this July since my wls & i have NEVER regretted it. I was so obese I would've died before my time. It has given me back my life. A lot of people are scared b/c there's a lot of new dr's that don't know what their doing. Who is your Dr? I'm sure you've done your research & eveything will be great. It sounds like your husband is supportive so that's the most important. God bless, Irene

Julia, I had a friend that was not supportive of my surgery. As it turned out she was scared to death that I would be a statistic. She simply didn't want to see anything bad happen to me. I asked her to please be positive and pray for me and everything would be just fine. Guess what? I was right! I had my surgery 2/11/03 at the top weight of 326#. Fifteen months later I am at 204# and would do it again in a heartbeat! I am so much healthier now than I was before. I still want to lose 50 more and think that will be plenty! Good Luck and my prayers and positive thoughts will be with you tomorrow. Deb