May 27th WLS Date
Hello -- I just found this message board and thought I should make a short posting. I hope this message finds you all doing well and losing weight in preperation of your surgery.
I am having some problems with support from my wife as she does not want me to have the surgery. Any of you having this problem? I guess it is a problem, but it is really nice to know that you are loved so much that your partner does not want you to place your life in danager just to lose AND KEEP OFF the extra weight.
Well I guess that is all for now. I will keep all of you in my thoughts for a successful and uncomplicated surgery.
In Health,
Lance
Hi Lance,
You have a hard month ahead of you. You and your wife need to sit down and talk about this. If you can't then sit down and write her a letter and tell her how you feel about your being over weight. Put your heart and sole into it. Give it to her. Then let her come to you and then sit down and talk to each other. I will say a prayer for the two of you. Good Luck and Best Wishes.
Jean 
Congrats on getting a date! I will be headed in the day after you.
Have you had your wife look at this website at all? I keep trying to get my husband interested enough to look on his own but he clearly has other ways he had rather spend his limited time. Go figure. 
In my case my comorbidities are all sort of borderline. My blood pressure has been high enough to need medication but miraculously dropped right when I started to seek surgery (it's not fooling ME...I know it's lurking in the dark there...just waiting...). It is very difficult to explain just how deadly morbid obesity is to my sweet husband who still sees me the way he married me and wants to be in denial of the dangers I (we) face. It's hard enough for ME to snap out of denial and face the grim reality of morbid obesity. Even without current comorbidities like diabetes or hypertension, we can rest assured that our futures are filled with medical problems, disability, and general unhappiness at losing mobility. I have to remind my husband (and myself) that having surgery isn't putting my life in danger, it's delivering it FROM danger (so to speak).
It's enough for me to read about women on this site who are twenty years further into their morbid obesity before surgery and how incredibly difficult their lives have become and how jeopardized their health has been. I don't need to wait for the inevitable to know that this is the right action NOW. A smoker doesn't have to have lung cancer to know that quitting smoking is the most valuable thing he can do for his own health (in fact, I once read an article talking about weight gain after smoking cessation and the weighed risks of obesity versus smoking. There is a point where smoking is actually better than obesity...hard to believe).
Could your wife be sensing doubts you have? It might be worth exploring these with her. You are very lucky to have a devoted and loving wife who feels safe expressing her opinion to you (even if it is a dissenting one).
Hugs,
Susan
Again, congrats on the date!!! Only 38 days to go!!!
In my case my comorbidities are all sort of borderline. My blood pressure has been high enough to need medication but miraculously dropped right when I started to seek surgery (it's not fooling ME...I know it's lurking in the dark there...just waiting...). It is very difficult to explain just how deadly morbid obesity is to my sweet husband who still sees me the way he married me and wants to be in denial of the dangers I (we) face. It's hard enough for ME to snap out of denial and face the grim reality of morbid obesity. Even without current comorbidities like diabetes or hypertension, we can rest assured that our futures are filled with medical problems, disability, and general unhappiness at losing mobility. I have to remind my husband (and myself) that having surgery isn't putting my life in danger, it's delivering it FROM danger (so to speak).
It's enough for me to read about women on this site who are twenty years further into their morbid obesity before surgery and how incredibly difficult their lives have become and how jeopardized their health has been. I don't need to wait for the inevitable to know that this is the right action NOW. A smoker doesn't have to have lung cancer to know that quitting smoking is the most valuable thing he can do for his own health (in fact, I once read an article talking about weight gain after smoking cessation and the weighed risks of obesity versus smoking. There is a point where smoking is actually better than obesity...hard to believe).
Could your wife be sensing doubts you have? It might be worth exploring these with her. You are very lucky to have a devoted and loving wife who feels safe expressing her opinion to you (even if it is a dissenting one).
Hugs,
Susan
Again, congrats on the date!!! Only 38 days to go!!! Hello Susan -- Thank you so much for your thoughtful and caring message. My wife, like your husband, is not interested in information at this point. However, she has been showing more interest in supporting me while not supporting my decision to have the surgery.
Please take care and know that you are in my positive thoughts for a successful and uncomplicated surgery.
In Health,
Lance
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