Here's some WLS humor

How to recognize a Wls Patient You Know You Are A WLS Patient When... 1. "I have a date" doesn't mean you are going out. 2. "I'm a loser" is a good thing. 3. "Welcome to the other side" does not mean you have died. 4. New clothes fall off the next week. 5. You are excited about "hand me downs" 6. YOU have a NEW family! 7. Hitting the "Century Mark" is a good thing! 8. You love the taste of Chewable Centrum Rugrats Vitamins or biting the head off of Wilma. 9. People start calling you tiny, and it's a good thing. 10. When the word lap has nothing to do with a strip club!! 11. When "No, I couldn't eat another bite" really has a deeper meaning! 12. When they look at you resentfully in the plus size store because you really don't belong there anymore! 13. When you have to prove you are you on your license! 14. When you start hogging the camera space and loving the pictures! 15. You want to hug everyone who is fat and give them your surgeon's card. 16. You are never without a bottle of water. 17. When people look surprised when they see how little you eat. 18. When you know all too well the definition of "dumping". 19. When you can see your feet for the first time in years!! 20. When you order a doggy bag the same time you order your meal. 21. When you count protein grams instead of calories. 22. You say "Oh, I won't have any of that, I'm full" and really mean it. 24. Having your husband say, "Honey, I can put my arm (not arms) all the way around you!!" 25. When you go to the mall and you park in the first open space instead of circling for 20 minutes for a spot by the door. 26. You go out on a date and are really truly a "Cheap date" and not in the way that some think..... 27. When one drink makes you a flipping floozy... 28. When you run you don't hear a flapping noise.....oh wait you still do.....but at least you are running! 29. When your husband takes your breath away in a moment of passion...but not because he is squishing your tummy! 30. You feel like you have over eaten after eating half a cup of something. 31. Vitamins and calcium etc. feel like a meal. 32. When the chef comes out from the kitchen and asks you "what's the matter, don't you like the meal?" 33. You've just lost 100 pounds, and someone who hasn't seen you in a while says .... "Gee, did you change your hairstyle?" 34. When you bend over and see daylight through your thighs. 35. You can cross your legs. 36. When you ask for a sample in the deli section of a grocery store and that's your meal. 37. When you say, "I just got these clothes last week and they're already too big!" 38. Trying to cash a check and the teller says, "That's not you!" 39. When the pizza delivery driver forgets your first name. 40. Your old boyfriends (girlfriends) don't recognize you. 41. Going to Sam's Club for free samples is considered "eating out" 42. You wash and dry your clothes on the highest heat to try to SHRINK them into fitting! 43. Your pants are worn out on the top of the thighs from pulling every child you know onto your lap because now you have one. 44. Yogurt is now a meal. 45. "Sugar" has become a bad word to you. 46. You can't wait for someone from high school to see you because you actually look BETTER than you did back then! 47. You have to kick your sleeping spose on the couch because you have worn him or her out. 48. "lets do it again" becomes your most frequently used phrase. 49. Your kids are telling you they are too tired, not you telling them! 50. Your favorite past time is seeing how many family members you can fit into your old jeans WITH you!