Surgery in 2 days... Feeling very nervous

Im sorry to be such a Debbie Downer... especially being the new girl on the board.  :S  

My RNY is scheduled for this Wednesday.  I've had surgery before, but not for many years - before I had children.  I'm an emotional basket case.  I hate to be so morbid, but I'm afraid I won't wake up.  Makes me very sad to think about... and I've considered writing my daughters letters.  Did anyone else do this?   I'm trying to remain calm... I don't want to talk to my family about it because I don't want them to worry any more than they already are.  I'm really not normally such a maniac... This emotional rollercoaster has thrown me threw a loop. 

Thanks for listening.  :)

I think it's normal to consider your own mortality more once you have kids.  If it will make you feel better then I think writing letters is fine to do.  It might reassure you to write down all the reasons you want/need the surgery instead.  If you are like me then it's to keep you around for a long time to raise your children.  Terrible things do happen but the stats are small.  Maybe you should take care not to read any horror stories between now and then, it's easy to spiral into great anxiety that way.  Also you can use some positive self talk when you have these thoughts, challenge each fear with a reality.  I may die is the fear...The reality is that it's very unlikely that you die in surgery and much more likely that you die from a obesity related disease at a younger age.  See what I mean?

Hang in there, you can do this and you will be fine.

Tami

my surgery is tomorrow and I am having the same thoughts!!  I don't think we are being morbid at all!  We are doing something normal..  But we are going to be healthy!!  :)  You said you had surgery before, so you know you will be ok.  I have been sooo excited for the last 6 weeks when my sugery was scheduled.  Now that its tomorrow I am freaking out inside!!  But I am still excited too!!!  :)  I keep thinking that When I Wake up!!!  cause we are going to wake up!  that I will begin to transform to the person I should be!  a Healthy Person!  and I will be around a lot longer to watch my daughter grow and become a woman and live her life!  :)  And that is what is driving me to do this!!!  Its soo hard chasing a toddler around when you are packing an extra 100lbs!!!  lol  But we are going to be okay!  :) 

Yep, all your feelings are normal.  I kept telling my son (youngest is 28) make sure to take care of my dog if something should happen to me.  He replied back, "Mom, you can choose not to do this, go to work and get hit by a truck".  So follow what you have wanted to do and get this done.  Gonna be there to help you when you get home.  And he has been my constant help..

And I still remember the moment I woke up from the surgery.  There was warm blankets around my head and shoulders, and I knew at that moment everything was fine.  Painful, but fine. 

Happiness always, and always here to listen.

I think your feelings are very normal, as someone else pointed out, we tend to think about our own mortality when we become parents.

My surgery is tomorrow and I will be just fine !  I am thinking positively and not letting anything come between me and this much needed procedure.  I am adding years to me life, rather than shortening my life.  My doctor ordered so many pre-op tests, that initially it irritated me.  However after having them all, I got validation that I am basically healthy, my heart can take the stress of surgery (this will be my first ever surgery), my blood pressure can handle it, etc.

Now dealing with my family is another thing.  My mother is is tears on the phone - she lives a state away.  My daughter is refusing to discuss the surgery, just said in an email "get some rest, see you tomorrow".. she lives 10 miles away from me.    Yes, we're from the same genetic line... my mother is the doom/gloom person and my daughter is the 'I'll ignore it and it'll go away person." 

Not sure how I became the hit it head on and deal with it person, but that's me.

We will ALL be so much better on the other side of surgery !!

Hang in there... this emotional rollercoaster is worth it.  I just know it.

I am so glad to know that I'm not the only one feeling this way. I have a 2.5 year old little boy and I can't help worrying about what might happen if I didn't make it.

I have some wonderful friends who have talked me "off the ledge" of late -- and I'm grateful for that. But just know -- you're not alone and you're not weird for feeling this way. I'm sure we'll all get through it together!

Thank you all so, so much.  Your words of encouragment give me a huge sense of relief.  I spoke to my sister briefly about it today and she had a good point... if I truly thought I wasn't going to make it, I wouldn't be doing it.  The worry is still there - but you are all right.  I am doing this to live a long, healthy life with and for my girls.  Thank you again!  :)