Jan;
I love your new avatar. You are looking great!
I admit that the demons have been after me lately. I just keep struggling along. Seems that the more I am freaked out-the more my weight fluctuates. It just proves what a link there is between the mind and body.
I will just keep coming on here-whether things are good or bad. This is my accountibility..

We do have a amazing A team. Trust me alot have been here for during my melt down. I come here everyday because this is where it all started for me. My obesity will never take a day off. some are probally more disciplined and have a good hold on this. Others are hiding and feeling ashamed  they have gained weight, Trust me I am only a bite away from failure but some reason I come here to blog cry rant rave amuze vent or laugh. I cannot no longer shove down my feelings with food like i use 2. I used food to cope my feelings and dammit I no longer can do that. I fight the food demends.I am going threw lots of stress of a not so happy place with our marriage and alot has to do I got a voice and he is use to big old me being his door mat. Our marriage is perfect as long as I shut up.I can no longer use food to drown the pain. anger frustration, I came so morbid obese by eating my way there. I think he think i turned into a skinny ***** and maybe I should have been one all along and maybe I would not have gotten so big.
I could eat a 1lb steak with all the side trimming of potatoes and salad with extra salad dressingon side and eat bread a loaf at a time with butter dripping and down food with 2 440z root beer from sonic. I would never feel quility going there everyday because their was a fat girl bigger then me.I feel she was out of control no me . I was such a fool and I went to sonic to get my son to eat his last meal and I asked about that super morbid obese girl that worked there and they told me she died from complications of her obesity. She was only 28. Humble and Sad moment. Dammit I think I could have said their is help but I was afraid to offend her. So I come here because I hope to be a motivational speaker for wls. Trust me If i can do it anyone can.. I fight this addiction like it is a drug.
I had a lady get up in church to share a good time moment and she said it is girl scott cookie time and I said oh no that is satins way of fooling us Girl scoot cookies make u fat. Who can ressit those LITTLE DARLING IN UNIFORM SELLING THEM? I had people laughing . YEAH RIGHT THIN MINTS MY a$$. I THINK THEY SHOULD CALL THEM FAT MINTS. OR HIP BUILDING MINTS.
Everyone have a great day and Thanks Joni for posting
Lisa

Hello Everyone,

Its not secret that i pop in and out of this board. I am always telling myself that I will reach out and be supportive to those whom I know are just like me. Yet for some reason (okay not some reason) I end up shuffling off. I tell myself its cause I am busy with life at the moment. (3 kids, disabled mother, full time job, full time student, marriage) Thats not it though. My problem is that I constantly feel like I am failing. I am always trying to compare myself to see if I am on the right track. I always hate myself and can only see how terrible I am doing.

I started this journey weighing 316 pounds. I am currently about 165ish. I dont even weigh myself anymore becuase I feel like what I have done isnt good enough. To make matters worse I feel like I'm the only one whose addiction hasnt went away. I find myself eating trash. I have p****d up some bad habits on this roller coaster as well. I will eat until I know that I will dump. I dont think that I stretch my pouch so much because I am still eating around 1 cup of food at the most. I am aware of my portions. My newest thing is snacking like crazy when I get home from work and skipping dinner so I can snack at like 9 at night. 

I eat to make myself feel better. In general everything that goes into my mouth tastes and feels good. It only lasts for a few minutes and then I hate myself for doing it. How do I find somethign that feels better then food?  I didnt see Oprah but when I heard about the show I know Oprah has the same thing I do. How do I fix it?

Thanks for listening. I am so happy that we decided to talk about this.

Amanda

I haven't moved the scale much this week but I'm happy that I haven't gone up! I'm holding steady at 138... still hoping that I can get back to 135 then try to lose another 5 pounds from that point. Not sure if that will ever happen. I'm beginning to wonder if 138-140 is were my body feels best. I don't think so... but not sure. I've been doing really well with eating but the weight is just not coming off.

I know I need to exercise but I'm just so unmotived. I think once the weather breaks I will start walking every morning... but with all this snow and cold weather I'm just not too thrilled about going out in the cold.

DOS: 247
Today: 138
Goal: 130